To think my MIL is BVU?

[WombOfOnesOwn]

Once a week, my husband and I go to his parents' house for the evening and overnight. We have a 7 month old son, and these visits have been vital to our mental health as we get at least one night with no baby wakeup each week...His father cares for the baby from 8 to 4, at which point his mother, who is a doctor and wakes very early, takes over. My son is a very good sleeper, generally 7-7, with 1 wakeup most nights, 2 occasionally, more on a bad night like post vax fever.

I have just found out my MIL last night went in at his wakeup time and, when he wouldn't settle quickly, decided to take him out of his bed, turn on the light, and play with him on the floor!

My husband and I have done our absolute best to ensure that our son's nighttime wakeups are responded to with low stimulation and no light (it is much harder for him to sleep with light). When he has these wakeups at home, we touch him gently or sing to him...at most, he gets singing, in arms, in the dark.

Apparently this is not the first time this has happened.

I am livid. Our baby has been a great sleeper and in recent weeks has seemed less so, or will greet us with his laugh that says "I want to play" instead of his usual sleepytime smile.

My husband doesn't understand why the thought of our little boy being put on the floor with the light turned on at 4 AM is making me so upset. Am I just being a crazy PFB mom? Or is my MIL absolutely daffy for even considering doing that?

[ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay]

7 months old and sleeping 7-7 with one or maybe two wake ups?! Ahahahahahahaha you don't know how lucky you are!
Your PiL are very generous but frankly as he sleep so well I don't see why he needs to be there as often as one night a week?

[crayfish]

Unless there is a massive drip feed on the way in relation to you and DH having pre-existing mental health conditions YABVU and totally ridiculous.

A seven month old sleeping 7-7 with one wake up is an amazing stroke of luck. I know because I had one and was delighted with the lots and lots of lovely sleep we got (it's all changed now mind you) and it never would have occurred to me to need help with the overnights, let alone such help being 'vital'. You don't know how lucky you are and if you're not happy with how your MIL (who I presume still works in a busy and demanding job as well as these weekly overnights, so she sounds like a saint) takes care of your baby then take care of him yourself...

[CalmItKermitt]

You sound a right pair of drips 🙄
Look after your own baby.

[PrimalLass]

these visits have been vital to our mental health as we get at least one night with no baby wakeup each week

Unless there is a massive backstory, you are being utterly ridiculous.

[Ausernotanumber]

If you did night about you'd each get 7 nights of dull sleep in every fortnight.

I really don't understand this aibu at all.

[MidniteScribbler]

Look after your own child if you don't like it.

And don't have anymore children. You don't seem to be suited to it.

[SnakeWitch]

Oh no. Poor you. You were having a nice weekly night off and your MIL dared to play with your baby. Get a grip, seriously.

[supermoon100]

Another slating mil thread, when all she is doing is trying to help/be affectionate (see the thread about mil kissing baby on the lips!) Seriously you women don't know how lucky you are! And yes if you don't like it look after your own child

[Mozfan1]

supermoon I saw that I didn't really understand it though what was the problem? We all kiss ds on the lips are we doing something wrong or what?!

[Youarenotprepared]

If you can't cope with a baby who sleeps so well without a night off so frequently then the first thing you need to do is urgently get help for any MH issues you may have.

I had severe PND and managed absolutely fine once they got to that only wake up once stage as do the vast majority of people.

Babies wake up for all sorts of reasons and will often have a period of waking more if they are teething, had jabs, are recovering from an illness, have a growth spurt etc

If you think the baby is unsettled after being at mils then stay at home. You could gently talk to her saying this is what you find works but you are definitely being unreasonable to be livid. She is going above and beyond what 99.99% of parents/in laws do.

Count your blessings.

[WatchingFromTheWings]

Unless there is a massive backstory, you are being utterly ridiculous

^This.

All my kids slept 7-7 and maybe woke around 2am for a quick nappy change and/or a bottle. Was bliss! If you don't like the way your MIL looks after your baby, do it yourself.

[woodenmouse]

Can we swap pil? My 7 month old does not sleep (normally 10-11 and then up until 3 and then 3-5) dh and I are slowly losing the plot. If someone took him and ds1 just once I'd be so happy. I think you either let mil so what she thinks is best or not send him for a while.

[Oysterbabe]

There's a sleep regression at 8-10 months that fucks up the sleep pattern for many babies so maybe that's starting to kick in.
My 9 month old wakes 2 or 3 times night still but I'd rather never sleep again than stay at the inlaws every cocking week.

[AnythingMcAnythingface]

YABU.

And you seem to have misspelled livid, it is actually:

G-R-A-T-E-F-U-L

[ChasedByBees]

Are you kidding? You must be. No one could be so self absorbed.

[Mozfan1]

Looks like op is having her weekly lie in

[furryminkymoo]

You say at wake time, in your OP, are you sure that she mean't that she actually turned the light on to play at 4am?

Don't be livid, you are getting a massive help here, just ask her not to get him out of the cot until 0700 due to routine.

[hardheadedwoman]

Yabvu

But - if you are that bothered why not say something like 'oh DS has been going downhill sleep-wise, he's being a nightmare. We're trying a new tactic of being v quiet and boring to see if it helps'

Then she might stop but with no offence caused

[LagunaBubbles]

Looks like op is having her weekly lie in

[Threebedsemii]

I have literally no idea why this would be a big deal.

You're very lucky they help you, he sleeps well and you get a night a week totally "off".

[TheHubblesWindscreenWipers]

If you'd like to swap PILs then just let me know...

Ds wakes from every twenty mins to (rarely) every couple of hours and he's one. Never had a night off or more than a few hours away as we are not near family. Not had a sleep of more than a couple of hours for almost two years (I was very sick during pregnancy.)
Unless there's another issue such as one of you being ill or disabled so you need the break, then yabu.
Your mil sounds amazing. I'd be so so thankful if I had a night a week like this.

[VeryBitchyRestingFace]

Chances are OP is the long suffering grandma and this is a reverse.

I so hate reverses.