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Original poster

What is the rudest thing a fellow parent has said to you?

360 replies

weresquirrel · 28/09/2016 21:41

Another parent whose child is in my child's class made a comment about my younger child being ugly Confused. It didn't register at first (I think I was in shock) and I only really took in her comment an hour or so after she had said it.

What is the rudest thing a fellow parent has said to you?

OP posts:
SuffolkBumkin · 30/09/2016 22:13

I was dead proud of DS1, felt like the luckiest person in the world when he was born, my friend lent over at him and said "Don't you think he looks like a pk oompa loompah?

Nikki1171 · 30/09/2016 22:13

'As long as you know we're supporting XH not you' - said by my dad when I told my parents I was leaving my ex husband due to continued psychological abuse. They didn't know the full scale of the abuse at the time but still!!!

PeggyMitchell123 · 30/09/2016 22:18

Nothing said to me but my mum got some comments. When I was a baby/toddler I was not developing nearly half as much as I should have and at one point it was thought I would never go mainstream school etc. someone pulled their child away from me at a playgroup and then asked my mum if she wished that I had died rather than deal with a child like that (she nearly lost me in pregnancy)

My mum was very proud when I got top marks in GCSEs, A levels and uni Grin

AlmaMartyr · 30/09/2016 22:18

Whirlygirly - yes, thanks, we have some wonderful friends now :)

DudeWheresMyVulva · 30/09/2016 22:20

What the fuck is wrong with that child? Is he autistic or something?

Said as my DS was having a mega metldown.

As it happens, yes he is autistic. So what?

WyfOfBathe · 30/09/2016 22:42

Just before I married DH, who has a little girl from his previous marriage, sort-of-friend who I babysit for said to me "don't you want to hold out and wait for someone who doesn't come with the baggage? I mean, you'll never be able to be a real family when that kid's there." Angry

We are a real family, and my stepdaughter is very much a part of it!

Kr1stina · 30/09/2016 22:43

When I was 3 months pregnant with DS3, Ds1 became very ill and he died 6 weeks later .

At the funeral , a woman came up to me, gestured towards my 4 month bump and said to me " are you sure this is a good time to be having another baby ? "

I really wish I'd had the presence of mind to say " gosh you are so right, maybe I should go out and get an abortion right now, perhaps it will bring back Ds1"

But of course I didn't, I just gaped at her , open mouthed .

Flywheel · 30/09/2016 22:44

Friends of dh were having trouble ttc and confided in us. I was sympathising when she said "oh well, sometimes I think it's for the best with all the risks at my age, you know what I mean" looking directly at dd1 (who has sn). I have to say, it really hurt at the time. Dd1 is my pride and joy. I did get where she was coming from, but she really shouldn't have said that out loud. I'm pleased to say though that she since went on to have 2 beautiful dds.

RetroImp · 30/09/2016 22:44

I got together with my ex while quite young when his kids were still toddlers. Their mother had assorted mental health and addiction issues and wasn't in their lives during their childhood. Someone commented how they were 'damaged goods with such a mother' and asked why I would possibly want to take 'that' on in front of them as young kids. I've made it clear that they were a major reason why I got together with their dad and among the most attractive bits about him. I hope it took the sting out of that horrible remark. They giggled. But to be fair there was a bit of truth in that. I stayed with their father for a lot longer because of loving them. They were aware and got to know and understand more about their mother's problems when they got older and do not feel bitter. For a start, their mother stayed off drugs throughout both their pregnancies and did everything in her power to eat healthily. She had a number of serious mental health issues and self-medicated with drugs. But in spite of it all, she actually did everything to protect them and not cause them harm, including staying away while she was particularly unwell. She was that aware how it could damage her kids. They understand this as adults now. I still remember how angry I was at that person and really wanted to slap her but was more concerned how it might affect the kids.

Biffsboys · 30/09/2016 22:46

kr1stina that is shocking ! I can't believe someone could be that cruel x Flowers

Kr1stina · 30/09/2016 22:52

Thanks biff

calmbeforeiloseit · 30/09/2016 22:54

A 'friend' repeated to a Mum at the school gates that my daughter had been abused. When she returned to school, I was in the playground waiting for her with DS and she came up asking very personal questions, including: 'What did she do?'

Shurelyshomemistake · 30/09/2016 22:57

A good friend who I don't see often as we live a long distance from each other said on leaving - to DS - that "he was a lovely little boy now", the clear implication being that he wasn't when he was younger. Thanks, then!

Alpha mother at school "Oh, the children are all getting on great. [my DS's name] has really grown up, he was definitely the least mature of them to start with wasn't he?" Yeah thanks. Actually he has some SEN that you don't know about and your DS has a massive ego but we're all too polite to tell you...

Same mother talking about her school days "I was a real swot, I did really well, what about you, Shurely?". me: "oh yep, straight As all the way," Her: (disbelievingly) "reeealy?". Yes, really.

Kel1234 · 30/09/2016 23:01

My little boy wasn't a big baby, he was quite long, but only weighed 6lb 7os. When he was about 6 weeks or so old, we were on the train, he was in his carrycot. A woman came over and looked in, asked how old he was, and then when we said, she went "wow he's so small, was he premature"?
It annoyed me because people shouldn't make comments regarding how big or small a baby is or isn't. Also in what way was it her business if he was premature or not?
I politely told her that he was actually born 6 days late.

clumsyduck · 30/09/2016 23:03

Luckily Nonone has ever been rude about ds Infront of me . Because I'd probably rip there eyes out Grin

Some of these are really upsetting though there are some horrible people out there Angry

Fifitrix9 · 30/09/2016 23:23

My DD was 5 months old when it was my grandfathers funeral. It was a long day & 8pm ish when we eventually got home so she was absolutely knackered, whingy and crying.
One of my sisters had had a bit too much to drink, took my DD out of her car seat and shouted 'STOP BLOODY CRYING' at her. Needless to say I told her where to go, sis turned to me & said 'well it's not my fault you've got a sickly child' - DD has a heart condition which is not hereditary totally random.
It took me a long time to talk to her again, and to be honest I don't think it's something I'll ever forget, because it's not something I thought I'd ever hear from a family member.

keels31 · 30/09/2016 23:30

Someone once said that I was ok to volunteer in my sons school because I had nothing better to do!
I've since stopped having her children when she was short on childcare!

Superstar90 · 30/09/2016 23:39

Kel - totally with you - the constant comments about how big/small baby is - as if you aren't already constantly worrying about it if your baby is larger or smaller than average!!

DirtyDancing · 01/10/2016 00:00

One of my posh NCT 'friends' said DS birthday party was money for old rope. We had a lovely soft play party in our village hall. Snob.

She's said quite a few snide things but she sort of throws comments in conversation randomly in her high and mighty way and it's not for several minutes later when it's too late do they register with me!!

Ptarmigandancinginthegloaming · 01/10/2016 00:09

Ex mil, when DS (a) was 2.5, said of her friends ds (b), also 2.5, 'yes, he's not like your little a, he's a proper little boy'. I never worked out what she meant by that, or how on earth she thought I'd respond (I just completely ignored her)!

PurpleTango · 01/10/2016 01:18

Some lovely lady at my ds (with autism) drama group told him "Don't bother going for a lead role in any of our shows because you cant sing or act". He was absolutely gutted as the drama group was what kept him going. He decided to leave the group and I allowed him to. He was 11 years old. He joined a different group. Since leaving school he has gone on to star in several West End performances. And has only just realised that the person who snubbed him did so because she had a dd who wanted the lead role in all the amateur productions. it turns out ds wasn't the only one to be turned away by this "lady".

I am so grateful for that woman. Without her input my son would not have gained the impetus to succeed. Thank you so much you ignorant old cow! What a shame your dd is still living with you and didn't make it to drama college. Is she trying for BGT again this year?? Looking for her big break because she couldn't impress the college examiners over the past few years Isn't Karma a bitch! :D ?

DD1 is a very successful lawyer. She always had an extreme burning ambition to become a lawyer. She made it with no problem.

DS (2) was told by his school teacher that he is waste of space and will never amount to anything. He gained all A's and A** in his Gcse's. He has gone from strength to strength at his school and college exams. He is now a secondary school teacher and college lecturer :D

No parental intervention at secondary level will help a child on their way. It takes good parenting skills throughout their childhood and teens to help them succeed ;) I am so proud that all 3 of my older children have succeeded in their chosen careers. The other two teens are on the right track. And yes they see their friends most evenings after school and are both in "relationships".

That doesn't distract them from their after school studies. They both have a career aim and know they have to work to get there. So proud of all five of my children :)

girlwithamoonandstaronherhead · 01/10/2016 01:22

This was directed at me, not my child so don't know if it counts. A woman I hadn't seen for a few years, bumped into her at mutual friends house. I saw her DS and said 'haven't you grown?!', she looked at me and said 'haven't you?'.
I had, indeed, put on weight since we last saw eachother!

nofoamlatte · 01/10/2016 01:29

My DD was born with a red mark on her forehead. I wasn't worried as the doctor said it would fade soon which it did in a few months). I remember proudly showing showing off DD to MIL's friends when one loudly said "What's that mark on her face? Did you hit her?" I was astonished! I didn't say anything back to the old cow but I wished I did!

Tworingsandamicrowave · 01/10/2016 02:05

"You can't just have one child, what if something happens to him?" This from a complete stranger with whom I was chatting.

"Michael has got used to the idea that he'll never have a daughter". This from my stepmother to my aunt about my dad. They have three boys together. I am the 'daughter' he doesn't have from his first marriage Hmm

EstelleRoberts · 01/10/2016 02:56

While out wheeling 8 week old DD in her pram, random bloke stops and peers in: "who's this... Oh! Ginger! Whose fault is that, then, yours or your husband's?"

Angry