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AIBU?

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Original poster

To cut my husband's ****edited by MNHQ**** with blunt scissors?

1018 replies

Pinkbabe1 · 28/09/2016 13:11

So my husband works shifts and this week it is his early shift - he is gone from the house by 5am. I came down this morning to find he had left his iPhone on the worktop. As I was making breakfast for DC's I pressed the home button on his phone to check the time and saw an unread message from my best friend of 27 years saying "is she in bed yet?".

Now, it's my birthday next week so I thought they were arranging some special surprise for me. So left it as that. Dropped the kids off at school but something was niggling at me, I just had this feeling in my gut. His iPhone has got a passcode which I don't know. On my third attempt, by pure and utter luck, I managed to guess it right and get into his phone. What I have seen has made me sick to my stomach. My "friend" has been sending my husband dirty naked pics of herself - full on legs spread and sex toys involved. There are no replies or conversation from him but then I guess these can be deleted??? I noticed he's saved the pictures to his camera roll also - presumably for quick access. I have no idea if they have met - I can't think straight at the moment it feels like everything is in slow motion

My husband NEVER leaves his phone at home so I suspect this was a mistake. I've currently packed all his bags and I am just about to post the pictures of my "friend" on Facebook with a tag saying "you are welcome to him"

I don't know what to do

OP posts:
PollyPerky · 28/09/2016 13:54

You need to avoid doing anything that if this gets legal, he can use against you.

It is not reasonable (legal term) to deprive him of jointly owned money unless you have nothing and need money (and are afraid he will take the money himself.) So when you can, transfer some of it back.

HermioneWeasley · 28/09/2016 13:55

Remember, go and get the financial info you can. Hide yours and kids passports, birth certs etc.

Make an appointment with every local divorce lawyer for initial consultation. They then can't act for him which will be massively inconveniencing for him.

Do you need to change passwords on any online banking, your emails etc?

HardcoreLadyType · 28/09/2016 13:55

Do not share the photos with anyone.

This is a crime.

Original poster
Pinkbabe1 · 28/09/2016 13:56

Penile - can I just say, what good comes from you coming on here and lambasting me? Has his ever happened to you? Every thing feels like it's in slow motion for me right now. The last 27 years of my life have been a lie, I don't know what to do. You talk about abusing women - how are you any better?

OP posts:
RepentAtLeisure · 28/09/2016 13:56

I would let her husband know. That's not crossing a moral boundary, it's bringing him into the loop. Three our of four of you know, why keep him ignorant?

MollyHopps · 28/09/2016 13:56

OK. She knows you have seen then now.

Block her number and let that be that. Don't interact with her anymore. It will feel good now but you will regret it later.

Again, don't make her the victim in all this by sending any more to her or ranting at her. Don't waste ANYMORE of your energy with her.

MyBreadIsEggy · 28/09/2016 13:57

So sorry you've had to find this out OPFlowers
I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling. Just came on to echo what everyone else has said - as hard as it is, try not to act impulsively while you're so furious. It would only come back to bite you in the arse. I'' not in anyway defending your husband, but from his reply on the emails, that does suggest to me that this could be more one sided on your "friend's" part Confused which is beyond creepy. Yes, your husband should have completely cut her off the first time she sent an innapproriate message, and told you about it too so you could cut her off as a "friend", but he didn't. I could be completely wrong, but I really hope I'm not Flowers

BalloonSlayer · 28/09/2016 13:57

Is there a chance he wanted you to find it all Pinkbabe?

Its odd that most of the messages have been deleted but the ones that haven't have been asking of him her to stop and saying that she's handing it to him on a plate - an unattractive phrase which always gets trotted out when people want to blame the woman rather than the man for an affair.

I am wondering whether it has all got too much for him and he wants you to find out. I mean, why didn't he come home to collect his phone knowing that it was lying around with all that on it?

Moojay · 28/09/2016 13:57

Shit OP
What a pair of twunts. Glad to see you're protecting yourself and getting your ducks in a row quickly. Do you have dc together?

MitzyLeFrouf · 28/09/2016 13:58

Good luck OP for when he arrives in the door.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 28/09/2016 13:58

Unbelievable. Kick him out. A million to one they have met up in person.

FlyHighLittleBee · 28/09/2016 13:58

So sorry OP. Your husband said she was handing it to him on a plate and she continued sending full frontal pics Confused what a skank. Him too. You're so much better than both of them put together xxx

PenileImplant · 28/09/2016 13:58

No mitzy, 2 people and the op. I could have used their names directly I suppose but I'm not sure why it's your business how I phrase my post? Hmm or is it because you feel a bit silly?

BalloonSlayer · 28/09/2016 13:59

Sorry that should have said "the ones that haven't [been deleted] have been of him asking her to stop"

redisthenewblack · 28/09/2016 13:59

Pair of utter fucking cunts! Flowers for you.

Good on you for letting her know you know. I hope she's sweating.

Can you contact her husband? I'd be letting him know straight away.

Ohb0llocks · 28/09/2016 13:59

Try not to lose your shit when he gets home OP. Easier said than done I know...

MitzyLeFrouf · 28/09/2016 13:59

I don't feel at all silly Penile. I just think your posting style needs a bit of work! Smile

Champagneformyrealfriends · 28/09/2016 13:59

Pinkbabe unfortunately you'll always get this on AIBU-people can be very blunt. I agree that posting the photos online would be a bad move but I completely get why you want to-you must be bloody devastated and people bickering over who said what on the thread when you need support is really shitty.

As for the arguing PP's:why don't you save it for trivial threads-this is somebody's life here.

Again op, I'm sorry this is happening to you.

MollyHopps · 28/09/2016 14:00

Also you can change his password on his phone if you need to.

Original poster
Pinkbabe1 · 28/09/2016 14:00

I'm not sure Balloon. He wouldn't have been able to come home as he has about a 45 min drive to work so prob didn't realise he had forgotten it. He's prob shitting himself all day

OP posts:
Arfarfanarf · 28/09/2016 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenileImplant · 28/09/2016 14:00

Well for one op I'm not putting up naked pics of people on the internet for their children to find

Jackie0 · 28/09/2016 14:01

What a nightmare op , I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Is there any chance you could work through it ?
Remember you don't have to decide right now

SadSock · 28/09/2016 14:01

How awful for you op & for her to have the balls to do that!!

PenileImplant · 28/09/2016 14:01

I think your reading comprehension does mitzy Smile

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