To cut my husband's ****edited by MNHQ**** with blunt scissors?

[Pinkbabe1]

So my husband works shifts and this week it is his early shift - he is gone from the house by 5am. I came down this morning to find he had left his iPhone on the worktop. As I was making breakfast for DC's I pressed the home button on his phone to check the time and saw an unread message from my best friend of 27 years saying "is she in bed yet?".

Now, it's my birthday next week so I thought they were arranging some special surprise for me. So left it as that. Dropped the kids off at school but something was niggling at me, I just had this feeling in my gut. His iPhone has got a passcode which I don't know. On my third attempt, by pure and utter luck, I managed to guess it right and get into his phone. What I have seen has made me sick to my stomach. My "friend" has been sending my husband dirty naked pics of herself - full on legs spread and sex toys involved. There are no replies or conversation from him but then I guess these can be deleted??? I noticed he's saved the pictures to his camera roll also - presumably for quick access. I have no idea if they have met - I can't think straight at the moment it feels like everything is in slow motion

My husband NEVER leaves his phone at home so I suspect this was a mistake. I've currently packed all his bags and I am just about to post the pictures of my "friend" on Facebook with a tag saying "you are welcome to him"

I don't know what to do

OP. What a shitstorm. Fuck the both of them.

Goodness me, I've come back to see if the cowardly husband turned up, only to find the agenda-feminist managed to make it all about them. Nice bloody going, going on about something that doesn't matter in the wider (no pun intended) context.

Pink, start a thread in Relationships, many a sane poster there, who have been through similar .

Just lock him out.

Can we call a halt to the derailing and PAs please? We don't want to have to remove this thread.

People going on about how terrible feminists are for calling out misogyny are derailing as much as anyone else.

Pink sorry to read this, what a coward your H is.

I'd suggest getting this moved (or deleting and starting a new one) to relationships board, where generally posters who may have gone through similar will be able to help you.

Sorry Katherine, cross posted, but true!

^ Second what Edmund said

So sorry you are going through this 😞

Really truly awful.

I'm so sorry Op, what an awful thing to be dealing with.

I wouldn't blame you for doing a bobbit on him. Use a rusty bread knife.

What a pair of utter bastards.

OP, he might be home and your busy, but at some point can you just let us know that you are ok?

PinkBabe1. You have suffered an awful, awful double betrayal, and my heart goes out to you.
I cannot comprehend how awful this must be, particularly when the ones that you would normally confide in and rely on, have let you down so badly.

Feel the rage, Feel the hurt, but my advise to you, is do nothing. Do not make one single decision that materially or significantly changes anything more in your world. You're in shock. You're in no fit state.

Choices and decisions can be made later. Now is not the time.

Pink you said your mum in law picked up the kids. Would she tell you if he went round there?

Thinking of you OP

The OP said that he had replied via email to the OW. He might have deleted the texts but the OP found the emails. He is not innocent.

This is the crux of it. From what OP has been told her "friend" is the instigator but her DH had a choice. He could have ignored and blocked the friend or shown his DW the pics. The OP found a message he sent back saying he knew it was wrong but couldn't resist. He isn't totally innocent although he has been manipulated.

I think he's just got caught up in the moment and is probably now driving round somewhere panicking because he has fucked up.

Hope he turns up soon and you can talk to him and figure out your next step.

Doesn't really matter if he got caught up in the moment though does it. He let his wife go and carry on seeing a woman who was sending him Fanny pictures.

I've had a male friend message me on facebook and I shown Dh straight away. It was a simple choice. Her Dh chose the wrong one.

op I bet you sick with this. Did you check his call log too?

Op - are you alright? I hope he's turned up so you can shout at him and not worry that something terrible's happened.

fucking hell OP i'm so sorry but other than your moments of rage (ie wanting to commit crimes such as cutting penises off and revenge porn) you're doing all the right things.
I wish I could give you a hug IRL

OP, I hope he's come back so you aren't waiting around for him any longer, and that you've been able to speak to him to find whatever answers you need. Up thread someone commented about getting finances, birth certificates, passports etc all organised so you've got everything you need to start over.

I've been watching this and I sincerely hope he's home and you've managed to speak to him. Thinking of you.

OP I've just sat here and read the whole thread. Unbelievable. Can't believe your XBF's DH knew about this and was ok about it. I'm reckoning he took the pictures. How would you be able to do it yourself?? Even if your H and her did nothing he should have shown them to you so you could have had it out with her. She is one exhibitionist, wonder which other known acquaintances she's sent them to if her DH says he knows she sends them. To think you've known her so long and clearly don't know her at all. She's clearly a right sort. Also just another thought that has come to me, do you think her DH gets a kick out of her sending those sort of pics to other people? Why would he be like that otherwise (unless it really is to keep the peace for his DC's) Some blokes are like that. If he does this has massively backfired (understatement) as they've sent them to your H when she is supposed to your BF.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, will your MIL have your D.C. overnight? You must be beside yourself now, try and stay calm. Do you own your home or is it rented?(Sorry if you've already said and I missed it.) for you, ram them up his arse if you feel the urge.

You've had loads of great advice on here. Have you managed to get important papers together and change passwords?

We're all rooting for you. Glad you didn't post the pics on FB, although I can see why you would want to. Keep the upper hand in all of this, have it out with H (won't call him DH as he no longer warrants that word). You will come out of this with dignity as you are the wronged party here. Make sure you and the DC's are ok. That's all that matters.

Sorry for the long post, I've been pondering on this all the time I've been reading it.

So sorry this has happened to you op just wondering you mentioned mil picked DC up had you told her what happened would she have given him heads up?

Surely you only need one hand to take a selfie? Fiddly yes, but not impossible.