To have said out loud that the doll was hideous

[Thornyrose7]

My in laws went to visit an elderly distant relative and since then, they have been hinting that they have a really special item to pass onto my DD, like some sort of heirloom, but they didn't say what it was.
We went to visit them and as I entered the living room, there was what I can only describe as a terrifying girl doll sat on the sofa next to my father in law.
It had blue lips and ash/ blonde grey hair and looked like a corpse doll. I was horrified and said the first thing that came out of my mouth ' how hideous'.
Well, as you can guess, this was supposed to be the special ' heirloom gift. My MIL acted as though I had insulted one of her friends and said ' oh poor little girl, well, I think she's lovely'. My Dd was a bit perplexed and didn't seem to know whether to side with me or her Gran. Apparently it is an expensive American Doll.But the colours have faded over time giving it its deathly pallor. In my opinion absolutely horrific. We left it there.
DH thinks that I was a bit mean and blunt.

I don't know whether to laugh or run screaming. I'm with you op.

I still think that foisting your hideous old crap onto other people is ruder than what the OP said.

My grandmother was always trying to give people shit. Stuff that was dirty, tatty or she didn't want. Depressing. Shows people you don't think they're worthy of anything nice.

But it sounds like they did think the doll was nice. Doesn't sound at all like they were trying to 'foist their hideous crap'.

Agreed Joffrey. It's hoarding by proxy.

If you like it that much, then clutter up your own house with it.

How the hell is giving one doll 'hoarding by proxy'? Some people just have to over exaggerate.

'My granny gave me loads of tat therefore these people are just like my granny. Boo hoo'.

How the hell is giving one doll 'hoarding by proxy'?

Because that's how it starts.

All hoarding starts with one thing.

I'll just leave this here.

"How the hell is giving one doll 'hoarding by proxy'?"

Because the doll was given by an in law. And therefore cannot possibly be kindly and innocently meant. It cannot have been meant to give pleasure to both the giver and the reciever. So all the normal courtesies and social conventions can be suspended with impunity.

Tbh if you're passing something on to be lovely then you should have it restored to being lovely before passing it on.

Passing something on that's old, faded, dirty, scruffy, damaged or any combination of those is just rude and off loading.

(If the original owner has already passed away then it's different obviously.)

So because the doll was faded it makes the gift 'rude and off loading'.

FFS

Scampimom 😂

'Hoarding by proxy' is when you give someone a gift without caring if they actually want it with the proviso that they cant get rid of it.
In other words, filling other peoples houses with tat.

No. Giving someone a gift of one item with the expectation that the recipient will like said item can never be described as 'hoarding by proxy'

HTH.

I'd have kept it and put it in the loft, it may be worth something one day.
Heirlooms aren't supposed to be played with, are they?

Haunted doll collecting is a real thing, there's a special section on eBay just for haunted dolls

So glad I'm reading this thread in daylight...

When I had DD my Mam lamented how she was sad that she'd chucked out her old doll as she would have liked DD to have had it. I remember this doll; courtesy of my lovely uncles it had a knife hole in the forehead, it's eyes plucked out and it's fingers cut off. I'm abit worried now where it 'really' is...

So because the doll was faded it makes the gift 'rude and off loading'.

Actually yes - I think it does. Obviously I don't know the exact condition of the doll in this case, but I do think that if you think that someone would like something you talk to them about it, find out if they'd like it, and if it's in crap condition get it sorted.

Handing it over without any of the above happening is, imho, no less rude than the OP's reaction was.

Give me a break.

Not liking the doll is fine but going one step further and saying the relative was being actively rude for offering it is just pathetic.

All so people on MN can do that tedious 'tee hee hee I'm so fwightened of dolls' and think they're morally superior to an old lady who thought she was doing something nice for a little girl.

It wasn't offered though. It was presented as a "here it is it's yours now".

Personally I think being offended by someone not reacting how you think they should when faced with a surprise like that a bit pathetic too. If you're going to surprise someone and expect a favourable reaction you need to make pretty damn sure it's something they'd like! If you're just winging it, guessing and assuming - well, it might not go how you want it too.

I wouldn't keep it in the house. Having seen The Conjuring it will come to life in the night and come for you all!

FWIW I don't think the elderly relative who it originally belonged to was in the wrong - I think the GM made the error in how it was presented.

I find a lot of dolls seriously creepy - MIL has several china-faced ones in the sitting room - urgh!

Worst of all was a B&B we went to hears ago - every corner had a toddler-sized doll playing hide & seek with its face covered, back to the room.

like this

just horrible