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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said out loud that the doll was hideous

228 replies

Thornyrose7 · 27/09/2016 16:05

My in laws went to visit an elderly distant relative and since then, they have been hinting that they have a really special item to pass onto my DD, like some sort of heirloom, but they didn't say what it was.
We went to visit them and as I entered the living room, there was what I can only describe as a terrifying girl doll sat on the sofa next to my father in law.
It had blue lips and ash/ blonde grey hair and looked like a corpse doll. I was horrified and said the first thing that came out of my mouth ' how hideous'.
Well, as you can guess, this was supposed to be the special ' heirloom gift. My MIL acted as though I had insulted one of her friends and said ' oh poor little girl, well, I think she's lovely'. My Dd was a bit perplexed and didn't seem to know whether to side with me or her Gran. Apparently it is an expensive American Doll.But the colours have faded over time giving it its deathly pallor. In my opinion absolutely horrific. We left it there.
DH thinks that I was a bit mean and blunt.

OP posts:
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Thornyrose7 · 27/09/2016 16:19

I am never normally so outspoken with the in laws. But it was so ugly that the words just popped out of my mouth. It was the way it was propped up on the sofa staring at me! If it had been the elderly relative giving to me directly I would have held my tongue.

OP posts:
ProseccoBitch · 27/09/2016 16:20

I need a photo before I can decide if YABU....

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 27/09/2016 16:20

You have saved your dd from years of nightmares likely!! If mil loves it so much she can keep it and sit it on her bed!!

SnakeWitch · 27/09/2016 16:23

I had a hideous doll next to my wedding cake when I got to the reception, put there by a family member. Everyone thought it was awful but we had to pretend we loved it and covertly tell people it was nothing to do with us! Even now the relative says, 'oh wasn't that doll beautiful' and everyone says 'oh yes, yes it was'. I hate that it's there on the photos but I would hate to hurt a loved ones feelings even more.

TyrionLannisterforKing · 27/09/2016 16:25

Is it not possible to restore the doll to its former glory and sell it if it is still hideous?

I love the Halloween prop idea. You should go over the elderly relative and apologise... then take the doll, snap some pictures and I assure you fellow mumsnetters will get creative about what to do with it.

But if you bring it home... Keep it in chains, just in case.

Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse · 27/09/2016 16:28

Leave it in the loft? Yeah, and then what when OP comes home and it's in the armchair in the sitting room?

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 27/09/2016 16:31

The proper thing to do is accept it graciously and then put it in the loft

Oh yeah, cos that wouldn't be creepy AT ALL Grin

steff13 · 27/09/2016 16:31

I think American Girl dolls are creepy, because of their teeth.

BertrandRussell · 27/09/2016 16:31

I just knew this would be an in law thread.

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/09/2016 16:34

Was this it

2kids2dogsnosense · 27/09/2016 16:35

The proper thing to do is accept it graciously and then put it in the loft.

Or bury it in the back garden, having first cut off its head and plunged a stake through where its heart would be (if it had one).

2kids2dogsnosense · 27/09/2016 16:35

Giles

JesusChrist!

Thornyrose7 · 27/09/2016 16:38

Giles! I tell you what, not too far off the mark there😄

OP posts:
2kids2dogsnosense · 27/09/2016 16:38

TaterTots Hideous is rarely a compliment.

Snort! Grin

yumscrumfatbum · 27/09/2016 16:39

DD was bought a toddler sized doll for Christmas one year. It was completely brilliant for scaring the shit out of DH. Nothing gave me greater pleasure than squeezing it into the fridge or his wardrobe. I'd then wait in anticipation of his girlish scream as he discovered it! She has a reborn baby now, this frightens people in a not so fun way when they look on in horror at me carrying it under my arm or shoving it in my handbag! I regularly have to shout "It's a doll!"

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 27/09/2016 16:40

Oh my god... a doll in the loft...

😱😱😱

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 27/09/2016 16:42

I reckon it's this one...

To have said out loud that the doll was hideous
Gileswithachainsaw · 27/09/2016 16:42

Her names lilith isn't she pretty

Italiangreyhound · 27/09/2016 16:44

Yes, you were rude and it was unfair to put your in-laws, hubby and dd in that position.

Coming into a room and voicing such a strong opinion on something in someone else's home sounds pretty rude full stop. Unfortunately, for you the gift was the thing that you chose to comment on.Which you could not have foreseen (maybe).

Now you will not really know if you dd would have liked it or not.

You will also not know if the thing is worth any money!

I your shoes I would do a very quick back peddle! Say to your dd that you were rude (I expect you would not want her behaving that way) and ask her if she would like the doll.

Maybe you could paint the lips and dye the hair, make it a new outfit, you may find this a fun activity and your dd may too. Or maybe, as Grandma loves the doll, Grandma could do the doll up with dd.

Then I would suggest a card to in laws apologizing followed up with a call. You could sat how rude it was to blurt that out and you know you hurt their feelings.

You do not need to lie and pretend you like the doll. You do not need to take the doll if you don't want it.

If you need any inspiration, just fast forward in your mind to when your dd brings home her hubby and child and you want to give them something, of value to you, for your granddaughter. And your son-in-law says what you said!

Just so you know we got given a doll (with a foam body) from a friend, it was her mum's and very precious to her after her mum died. It constantly leaked foam particles and after a while I said to my friend my dd was too young for it and we were not sure what to do. Would she want it back etc. I think in the end it went to a charity shop. My friend was happy dd got some play out of it, it was a nice gesture (it was BIG) and happy it went on to another place. No need to ever say how I felt about a large foam-bodied doll.

Good luck Thanks

2kids2dogsnosense · 27/09/2016 16:44

Twosugars

(Screaming and running from the room)

TheNaze73 · 27/09/2016 16:45

That is jokes. Nasty but, funny

spiderlight · 27/09/2016 16:45

But you could have made it into a lovely lamp!

To have said out loud that the doll was hideous
Italiangreyhound · 27/09/2016 16:48

In the Victoria and Albert there are dolls made to look like real people, real children, who would now be dead. Very creepy.

Anything like this one... not too creepy...

timetowritenow.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/old-fashioned-doll-with-bonnet.jpg?0fd13e

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 27/09/2016 16:48

I did something similar once, ecept it was one of those ultra-creepy Reborn dolls that someone had made. It was sort of sprung on me, so I didn't have to time to prepare my face and I made a sort of "Gaaah" noise. Not quite what the person had in mind when she said she wanted my honest opinion on something (I was expecting it to be a new cardigan or something).

I wouldn't normally be so rude and I never offer unsolicited opinions in other people's houses unless they are completely positive. It was the surprise that did it.

My uncle and one of his wives used to make ceramic Victorian-style dolls and their whole house was full of them. They were creepy as fuck and some of them had those spiteful-looking teeth. In the living room they were lined up on the sideboard in rows, like an evil doll army. they tried to make me join in the dollmaking, but I pretended to be sooo clumsy that everything I touched was bound to be smashed. They made me sleep in the living room with the creepy doll army when I stayed with them. I did not sleep well.

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/09/2016 16:51

She only wants to play

What's the problem

To have said out loud that the doll was hideous