To think the whole family should all eat the same meals at dinner

[emodi]

I am a working mum to ds10 and dd7 . At present I cook one hot meal at night and have a pretty fixed time table for dinners . I was quite surprised yesterday when my DH started saying I don't cook specially for him and that after work I should be cooking him something separate as he is "older" at 45 so he needs more fish and white meat . Kids are allergic to fish . My job is quite busy with late nights and on calls and I usually cook in bulk I was wondering if that's what most people do . Growing up my mum cooked one meal for all of us and we all ate what we were given . I can't imagine cooking different meals for us. What do the rest of you do?

Yes, but the one who wants different meals, cooks them.

Only if that is what works for the family as a whole.

I grew up eating meals cooked by my DM where there were two key themes: economy and the meal was something my DF liked. The economy was an unnecessary obsession of my DM's. My DF only liked stews served with floury potatoes (I now loathe wet savoury food). No alternative meals were allowed.

DH knew this when we got together. He likes cooking so is quite happy to cook different things for me when I dont like what he wants.

I think democracy trumps 'the family as whole'.

If the DH has a problem with the meals being provided he needs to up his game and start doing some of the cooking. Otherwise he should pipe down.

I cooked one meal for everyone. You eat it or you make your own.
You aren't a hotel with a menu for people to order from.

If we moaned about a meal as children, my mother always used to say 'if you don't like it you can have piece of cheese' - you could try that with your DH

Yes, but the one who wants different meals, cooks them.

Only if that is what works for the family as a whole.

One meal works well for the family as a whole, unless there are specific dietary needs (such as different allergies).
The OH here has a preference, and is quite capable of cooking, so, at best, the OP could be nice enough to cook separately, but as a favour, not an obligation.

The "should" alone would have me telling him to cook for himself.

I think I would've died laughing.

DH is a SAHD and does most dinners. Sometimes I get in late and he has already fed the kids, sometimes it's beans on toast so I make my own; other times it is lasagne so there's leftovers.

Cheeky fucker. He can cook his own I'm sure.

I wfh and work less than DH and always cook. He is sweetly always really grateful no matter how crap the food. I would be murderous otherwise I think.

We host foreign students too so get quite limited. Italian teenagers are very conservative eaters. As soon as they go the curries begin!

Hi I do most of the cooking . We have spag Bol on a Monday but rest of the week we do other stuff like stir fries , curries etc . I did bite his head off when he suggested that I cook a separate meal for him . I will definitely stick to my guns if he dosent like what I put on the table he can get his pinny on . Thanks everyone for the replies.

Dunno, I suppose I might buy a few pieces of fish (or chicken breasts), either ready frozen or fresh ones you can open and pack into individual portions yourself, so on the odd occasion you can put that in for him when you and DC are having something else.
Just because I assume you start food because you get in earlier, so if he waited to make himself something you wouldn't all be eating at the same time.

However this would be an occasional 'nice gesture' rather than something you are obligated to do as personal slave loving wife and it would literally only be something as simple as: get salmon/chicken breast from fridge, wrap in tinfoil, stick in oven with whatever other meal you are cooking (so about 30 secs additional effort), not elaborate faffing around steaming/grilling/making fish pie.

Alternatively wait until you and DC are tucking into his favourite meal and then present him with a birds eye/iceland special and say 'There you are darling, I've taken what you said on board and made something separate for you, it was a bit of a faff but worth it!" Then smile beatifically as you and DC guzzle down curry (or whatever) and he pokes sadly at his frozen fish fillet. Hopefully he'll shut up after that!

I have to fight my husband and son for control of the kitchen, as they both love to cook, but we have a one meal policy - unless one of us isn't home for teatime and doesn't fancy reheating a portion. Or if son is at his little job or playing football he might get himself a takeaway. I would tell your husband that if he wants something else, he knows where the kitchen is!

Buy him this OP and point him in the direction of the cooker. Time he joined the rest of us in the 21st century.

Hi OP 👋 Me and dd (14) cook the nightly meal. There's us 2, DH, DS (12) and DS (9). We do eat meat (rarely red meat) but are mostly vegan tbh. Its cheap and healthy. Anyway, we all have the same meal, all the time (although DS12 has extra protein bits as he 'wants a six-pack' ). I've never offered to cook anyone a different meal at all, it would waste time and would just cost extra money that I don't have.

Why doesn't your DH do some batch cooking of stuff he likes at weekends and freeze it? Then he can just suit himself if he doesn't like what you're cooking for everyone else.

One meal doesn't work here due to some being vegetarian, one vegan and a meat eater - who is happy to eat vegetarian/vegan quite often. We all just muck in and sort it out, but it isn't one person's responsibility.

I'm also intrigued by the notion of "kids food". Am I alone in not distinguishing between food specifically for kids and for adults? Our boys have always had what we have had, and not anything different, even as a baby my son had puréed versions of our family meal. Is this not what most people do? And dinner at 5pm? Dinner time has never been earlier than 7pm in our house!

DH and I take it in turns to cook ONE meal, if someone wants something different they make it themselves.

I was going to say ywbu, you can cater for kids who genuinely don't like stuff by freezing a portion of something they do like etc... but no, a fully grown adult, supposedly. he can cook his own bloody food.

In our house we don't do the "one meal and you eat it or don't eat/ make yourself something else" thing. I'm vegetarian. Dh is a meat lover. Ds2 has got much better but still restricts what he will eat (and no, removing all choice and only offering one thing regardless of whether he likes it is not the answer and the psych team explicitly advised against it), ds1 will eat just about anything and ds3 is a toddler who is still working out what he does and doesn't like. We each get a meal we are happy to eat. I can't abide food waste and preparing meals in the full knowledge that they will not be eaten is ridiculous.

I was a strict "I cook one meal and you eat it" mum until ds1 became pescetarian. Then id do a meat and a non meat version. Then I joined sw and now I make a sw meal for me which may or may not have meat in. If it does I make a separate meal for ds1. Ds2 has whichever one he fancies/is easier to make more of or a combination of the 2.
It works for us. But then I'm the only adult so I've chosen to do that.

I kind of get the feeling "kids food" is sometimes simpler/plainer/easier (or in our case it was nothing very, very spicey or with bones in (long story), and sometimes it was the easy nuggets, chips and sweetcorn).

I wouldn't expect DP to eat nuggets for tea (hates them) so would do a spice thai curry for us and sometimes (once a week or so) something plain for DD until she started school approx. she's grown out of that now and we all eat the same, except for salmon which she dislikes (so has a chicken breast instead).

Here the DH cooks and I wouldn't dream of complaining! I may make requests but he cooks rly well and I hate cooking so I know I'm very lucky and just enjoy it! The kids get the same as us but may not try it all or get something on the side that they fancy (if easy to make) or get a less spicy version (for older DD) if applicable. Wouldn't make 2 or 3 meals that's just plain crazy!

Variable here. I grew up with all eating the same, and generally did when living with previous partners and friends. These days, DD eats at 5 before she turns into a gremlin, usually either a portion I've saved her from the previous night or something I've batch-cooked and frozen and DH and I eat after she's in bed. He eats fish and I don't, so if we always had the same, he'd only get to have fish once in a blue moon. Tonight I've had beans on toast because the beans needed using up, and he's got fish, chips and peas. We had one of those very polite, very British arguments about the beans as we both wanted them but thought the decent thing would be to let the other one have them. I won.

I cook during the week, DH cooks at weekends. Only ever one meal here for everyone, whether we get to eat together or not. Everyone eats almost everything, and if they don't like one bit they eat the rest. As my old mum was fond of saying, this is not a bloody hotel!

Yup 'kids' food is chicken goujons/nuggets/fish fingers/pasta and simple sauce/pizza etc. It not the case it isn't good enough for me and DH, just not what we'd alway chose to eat for dinner. Plus, as I said, DH is not home till 8 most of the time and my DC are in bed by then.

I am a bit confused by 'kids food'. What exactly is kids food?
The kids in my house eat curry, chilli, pasta, roast dinner, risotto, casserole, fajitas, fish, jerk chicken ....which is the same food that we eat. I didn't realise that there was specific kids food and adult food. i have to use gluten free pasta etc for ds1 and dairy free alternatives For ds3 but otherwise we all eat the same

Why is everyone so bloody holier than thou?! Jeez! Everyone knows what is meant by 'kids food' cos you see it on kids menus all the freaking time so stop bloody being patronising and saying 'oh what's kids food'!! Yes of course there is no fucking distinction between food! Food is food but in some families (and it's not terrible so stop being so fucking judgemental some kids eat only kids food) on that note my kids eat 'kids food' and pretty much what we eat too! So that could be fish and chips or curry and rice! Or pizza and salad or fajitas! So guess what I guess as adults we eat 'kids food' too!!

I agree in that 'kids food' can be eaten by everybody - whether thats fish and parsley sauce, a roast dinner, pizza, nuggets and chips, fajitas, chilli, lasagne, pie and mash, chicken in breadcrumbs and spaghetti etc. I personally wouldn't have ate stir fry, curry, chilli or any 'unusual' foods as a child (fussy sod I was) and I wouldn't expect a 2 yo to really eat those either. I'd offer, but I wouldn't be surprised if they wouldn't eat it. Nothing wrong with adults deciding they don't want what the kids are having and eating something else instead not sure if I'd ever want stir fry instead of nuggets though lol but as a whole, I'd just do the 1 meal and substitute/adapt things where needed, or if children really didn't like that option, bung something in the oven. Certainly not of the view that children should only ever eat healthy - personally see nothing wrong with having a takeaway on saturday night and including toddler by giving her a few chips (unsalted and cut up)