To think the whole family should all eat the same meals at dinner

[emodi]

I am a working mum to ds10 and dd7 . At present I cook one hot meal at night and have a pretty fixed time table for dinners . I was quite surprised yesterday when my DH started saying I don't cook specially for him and that after work I should be cooking him something separate as he is "older" at 45 so he needs more fish and white meat . Kids are allergic to fish . My job is quite busy with late nights and on calls and I usually cook in bulk I was wondering if that's what most people do . Growing up my mum cooked one meal for all of us and we all ate what we were given . I can't imagine cooking different meals for us. What do the rest of you do?

I hope your response was HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I cook one meal. Fair enough, if one person doesn't like the meat I'm cooking in a stew I'll put some sausages or something in that they do like but that's no extra work. But mainly if you don't like it, then there's the kitchen, crack on.

Dp doesn't really like rice much or pasta. But he gets those at least twice a week. DD1 doesn't like potatoes so she just doesn't have them and will have bread instead, DD2 doesn't like curry much so she doesn't have much sauce on hers. I don't mind doing a tiny variation but two separately meals?

Tell him to get his pinny on.

We don't all eat the same. Youngest DD usually has something different then the rest of us.
Most of the time me, DH and eldest DD will have the same meal. I don't eat a lot of things that DH does and vice versa, so will sometimes cook something else for DH, or he cooks it himself when he comes home.

I try to cook the same meals as much as possible. In recent years, the DCs have had allergies which they've now grown out of, and much of the time, I could manage to keep their meal similar to ours by putting some in a small pan and adapting around their needs rather than a completely separate dinner. Many dinners won't make the whole family leap for joy, but there's always something balanced for everyone to eat, and there's a different winner every night.

I like fish and DH doesn't. Sometimes I'll grill some for me and grill him a gammon at the same time which is little extra effort, but generally I'll have it on nights when he's not there. His attitude is wrong because he's being demanding without considering the added inconvenience to you.

The OPs DH may be correct that older people do need a bit more protein to maintain muscle mass. But that could be solved by him eating some fish or chicken as a starter. A tin of sardines or pilchards should do it.

Ds1, ds3 and I all have allergies. Despite the allergies I cook one meal with a slight variation sometimes (for example ds1 will have gluten free tagliatelle whilst we have normal spaghetti with our bolognese).
I am a Sahm and DH works full time so I do 99% of the cooking. DH wouldn't dare complain about the meals that I cook. He knows I gave to accommodate the various allergies so the fact he still gets a decent tasty meal and a varied diet is something he appreciates.
No way would I cook totally different things, it is not a restaurant!

What do you cook? If it is nothing but spag bol and fish pie (aka nursery food) then I can understand him wanting something else. However he should also step up and take over some cooking if he is that unhappy with it. Everyone needs to learn to eat everything from curry to pasta to stirfry.

Does he simply want a bigger portion? So if you do a chicken dinner he would like two chicken breast?

Or does he want specific meals tailored to him cooked above and beyond what the kids get?

One meal here and everyone eats it. Don't like it, go hungry.

You did laugh didn't you.... My husband can't eat chicken so he cooks his own meat to go with whatever we are having with chicken. We have usually eaten by the time he gets in so he reheats his dinner. Once or twice a week in cook a separate meal that he and I would like and we eat together later. I get home with the children at 5, I cook, he clears up.

These threads always turn into "how much does your husband cook" etc, however you are NBU unless the meals are very "child focused/friendly (if that makes sense) so maybe he wants someting more grown up.
I cba doing different meals though.

We all eat the same here, but we don't have allergies or other requirements. We usually cook what we - the adults - want to eat.
For desert, we are more flexible and everybody can choose from a selection.

I'd take into account preferences in the one meal, and obviously dietary requirements, but I wouldn't be cooking differently for a fussy adult.

My dh eats what he is given and we know when it's not great but I've had to knock something together, but we put up and shut up because we're grown ups. When we have more time at weekends we can cook separately or whatever, but during the week it is getting through. It sets a bad example to the kids apart from anything.

Oh, and those suggesting that he cooks for himself, lets all agree that that means cook and clean up after himself, too. Best lesson my mother ever taught me, was that, if we wanted to sue the kitchen, the ruke was that we had to clean / tidy it up first (it was never left messy) , do any cooking then leave the kitchen in its tidy state. OH loves cooking but originally left the kitchen needing a major clear up. He has the hang if it now, but Id always be clear that clearing up was included in the cooking, otherwise the usual cook ends up having to do it, and then decides that 'its easier' just to cook to order rather than face the mess.

These threads always turn into "how much does your husband cook"

Because that's the key question here-it's totally unreasonable for someone who doesn't cook at all to demand a different meal to everybody else.

We have one meal too. I do ask the kids and dh to meal plan or suggest meals.
I don't mind cooking (dh does occasionally but he works long hrs) but I hate the thinking and planning that goes with it.

One meal for everyone if I'm actually cooking. I'm definitely not preparing two sets of food!

A lot of time, I'm not cooking, though - so DH can have whatever refrigerated batch-cooked unit he wants, and I get DD and I something we like or some other pre-prepared unit. I usually give him the choice - we're having X, do you want some or do you want something from the fridge?

my DH started saying I don't cook specially for him and that after work I should be cooking him something separate as he is "older" at 45 so he needs more fish and white meat

Ba-hah! Is that a medically proven 'thing'?? Silly man. Out of interest, what sort of things do you cook??

Nope, if you're cooking you cook one thing. If someone wants something different, they cook it!

DD hates all kind of red meat unless it is a sausage or pork filet. So I do a sausage for her and steaks for us. Roast lamb/beef is for restaurant visits or if I do a huge dinner anyway where another pan doesn't make a difference.

Fish - DH and I love fish so we eat it on a day DD gets leftovers.

We all eat together around 6.30-7pm unless DD is out (twice a week late activities) and on these days DH and I cook whatever we like.

If he wants to eat a different meal to the rest of the family then he cooks it. Simple.

You both work but you do all the cooking? Sounds like your DH needs to do some batch cooking of things he likes at the weekend that can be easily re-heated for all the family to enjoy mid week.

Sorted.

Is your husband physically incapable of cooking, eg due to a disability? Because if not, I cannot comprehend why he is ordering his wife to cook him a totally different meal when she is already cooking family meals, taking allergies into consideration, and working / on call in the evening.

My husband does not eat any dairy and I am vegetarian.......I also have a number of health issues so meal times are difficult at times......my husband is in charge of all the cooking......he will cook two separate meals if needs be.....you need to simply realise that everyone has different tastes, needs and choices......maybe the children and also your husband could get involved in the cooking etc...just a thought...the days of cooking one meal and all eating together have long gone!!!

This made me LAUGH!!!!
What does he mean "SHOULD be cooking separate meals" for fucks sake.

If he'd have said "If I buy something quick and easy for myself would you mind sticking something separate on, fancy something different" or something along those lines then personally I wouldn't mind too much. Otherwise I'd tell him to get back on the 1950's Spaceship he flew in on

you need to simply realise that everyone has different tastes, needs and choices......maybe the children and also your husband could get involved in the cooking etc

And the people with different tastes need to do more than just complain. They need to cook! Share the labour.

One meal here. I followed the HVs advice early on - to get the children eating family food as soon as poss.

If someone with an allergy/veggie/religious requirement is visiting, I make something suitable and we all eat it.

I think that's fair enough - Mummy is not a short order chef! Though she is driven to using the 3rd person by the very thought of cooking more than once a night!!