To think the whole family should all eat the same meals at dinner

[emodi]

I am a working mum to ds10 and dd7 . At present I cook one hot meal at night and have a pretty fixed time table for dinners . I was quite surprised yesterday when my DH started saying I don't cook specially for him and that after work I should be cooking him something separate as he is "older" at 45 so he needs more fish and white meat . Kids are allergic to fish . My job is quite busy with late nights and on calls and I usually cook in bulk I was wondering if that's what most people do . Growing up my mum cooked one meal for all of us and we all ate what we were given . I can't imagine cooking different meals for us. What do the rest of you do?

He would eat out?

Where a lot of food has pre made shit in it?

It's incredibly weird that your husband would spring this on you, after what I assume are years of being together, as if it's something you should have known all along.

Is he having some kind of crisis?

Gnome there is no SHOULD as long as it doesn't also mean that it's the OP doing all the work and her DH demanding things.... which seems to be the case atm.

Dh is piscetarian (vegetarian when we met so you can't say hasn't made compromises) and I sometimes do not fancy the quorn meat replacement or just occasionally fancy a steak.

So on those nights I will cook two meals, but a variation on a theme so if I fancy steak and chips he will get a tuna steak with his chips.

What does your phone actually mean? Is he bored with the meals you are in the habit of cooking? Is he worried you are cooking too much red meat? Does he feel all your meals are aimed at the children and he wants some grown up food? In which case he can totally get involved and cook more himself and share the burden of food preparation.

Or is he using meal time as a substitute for love? Does he mean all your life is geared towards your children? Understandable if it is cos your life sounds hectic busy but he may just be feeling unloved and struggling to express this in a grown up way (and sure you'll get some comments about how you'd have more energy to show him love if he stepped up and helped run the house more - which is true - but he may be too self involved to see this right now). If this is what he means you then have a choice where you go - you can be the grown up (again) and help bring him out to expressing himself and needs better and you express your needs better (like help with the bloody cooking) or you can both keep on being unreasonable.

From your post he seems far more unreasonable than you.

There is no should about it. If that is what works for you all as a family then that is fine but if it doesnt then you all need to find another way.

Yes, but the one who wants different meals, cooks them.

I don't know if you ABU to think everyone should eat the same. Maybe you are. I wouldn't want to, and don't, eat what my DC eat.

I cook for the kids and then for DH and I separately. Actually not strictly true. WE cook separately for ourselves and the kids. Sometimes me, sometime him. I cook for the kids more often than him because I'm home with them 3 afternoons in the week.

Due to what some will no doubt judge as a lack of parenting ability, my DC eat fairly dull kids food that I wouldn't want to eat on a regular basis. Plus my DH is not home until after 6:30, and often not till 8pm which is way too late for the DC.

DH is a good (if slow) cook though so we share the cooking of our meals. OP, as others have said it's fine if he's willing cook of these 'grown up' meals!

Lol @ the poster who said spaghetti bold and fish pie are "nursery food" they are staple family dinners. It's one meal for all here and if they don't eat at least half of it then they go hungry. Dh can be quite fussy and used to moan about some of the things I made until I pointed out he could make his own.

Venus and Soubriquet -well yes, exactly. As I say, he travels half the week so god only knows how he survives with plane food.

I can only cope with him because I'm not working. If I worked too, he would just have to hire a bloody chef in.

YANBU. one meal for everyone and if someone wants something else they can make it. I'd be happy to do adjustments - different pasta sauce, less spice, chicken breast not lamb, no green beans etc but no way I'd cook 2 entirely different meals. Could you put a bit of fish in oven for DH in place of what meat you are having? Only works with certain meals though, it wouldn't be any extra work really though. This is assuming he cooks too - if he doesn't and is just demanding different food I'd tell him I cater to likes and dislikes and if he doesn't fancy what is being made he can sort himself out.

If you can afford it get your DH ready meals. There are lots of healthy chicken and fish choices available.
Usually light on veg so serve up the same veg or salad you're having.
Is he feeling he ought to be losing weight or watching his figure?
Maybe the whole family can eat less red meat and that will satisfy him?
Totally unreasonable for him to expect extra meal preparation when you are working and have children but maybe stop his whingeing by telling him you understand his concerns but unfortunately no way you can do this and what does he suggest.
Good luck

If my DH isn't happy with what I'm cooking for everyone, then he can feel free to cook something else for himself....or just eat whatever is on offer. I'm his wife and my DC's mother, not fucking catering staff!
Luckily, we have no allergies/vegetarians/vegans etc in our house, so we all eat the same meal. I do ask DH if he has a particular fancy for anything before he goes to work just because it gives me an idea of what meat to get out of the freezer, but usually he will say "I don't mind", and he genuinely doesn't mind! He's the type who will eat anything without complaint!

Whatsshe, he survives with plane food because he hasn't got you there enabling his pathetic behaviour.

A partner shouldn't be someone you have to 'cope with'; they should pull with you. He sounds like dead weight, at best.

My dh gets what he's given, and 3 days a week, he cooks what he's told to cook. He refuses to do any shopping/meal planning and so doesn't have a say in it...luckily he doesn't care much, so long as there's biscuits in the cupboard!

We eat similar food as the kids with slight variations - last night we had noodle stir fry, adults had additional veg and a spicier sauce

Sometimes i had the same as my parents, sometimes they made me something completely different.

Benedik what about her DH goes to buy some ready meals with fish/chicken? I mean I'm sure he can do that on his way home no?

One last comment, in this house, we, the adults, don't eat the same thing than the dcs.
It's the dcs who eat the same thing than us!

We might have made some adaptations (eg at some point we had some sort of slow cooker meal nearly every night because that was the best way to prepare meat for them when they were little. Easier to eat).
We don't do anything very spicy.
That's about it.
Cooking for children doesn't mean fish fingers and chicken niggets every night Some Annabel Karmel recipies have felt much more 'grown up' and complex than some stuff we were doing anyway

Generally do one meal for everyone. Kids always eat earlier I eat with hubby but for example I did chicken curry last night. Kids has their curry with rice and salad. We had ours with whole meal pita and salad

Wow! that would take some balls to say at our house.
I like cooking, I did courses in nutrition and cooking is my responsibility unless, I'm ill or there is the odd takeaway or beans on toast. we do eat out on Saturdays as a treat and we try different cuisines. We are in London most weekends.

At home, I make a menu on Friday night with contributions on what they would like to eat from DH and DD, shop at the weekend and most times batch cook or bake the extras on Sunday.
We have meat once a week, fish once as well and the rest is vegetarian or I might throw in few bits chorizo if they complain. I do plenty of vegan food too.
Meals are served at 7-ish the latest, and both DH and DD tide up. I work 10 hours day and I'm trying to make sure, they eat healthily and since we are in our 40's, I'm making sure we are not overweight or have diet related illnesses. I lost family on diseases that could be have been prevented (heart and diabetes II) with decent diet so I'm very militant on that. But I'm not Gillian McKeith.
This is it. This is a home and not a restaurant. Nobody needs meat tbh. You can have a decent diet without meat. Say what you want but there are plenty of vegans that are healthy and well. Google Dr Ellsworth Wareham (I think) who's 98.
And I'm very open about food with my kid too. Pizza is fine but we need veggies and fruits and other food to survive and be healthy.

OP has vanished.

Perhaps she is following husband's orders after all...

I think you should introduce your husband to the wonder that is a tuna fish sandwich.

We try keep it the same to unless it's spicy which ds2 won't eat. I wouldn't be cooking something else for him either.

My DD has only just been born but me and dh have always just cooked 1 meal per night, who ever is home first cooks. We do however do a lot of variety different meat/fish/veg/ sauces etc so it's never boring.

When I was growing up, mum and DD just cooked 1 meal and us all. Mum and dad did also offer a lot of variety it was never the same old meals over and over

"I wouldn't want to, and don't, eat what my DC eat."

If it's not good enough for you why is it good enough for your kids? There's no such thing as 'kids food' unless you tell yourself there is.

I cook one meal and the whole family eats it together, and if DH complained he wanted a 'special' meal he'd get an earful about knowing where the kitchen is. That said, if you're giving him two fish fingers and a spoonful of peas each night he may have a point. He could POLITELY ask for a larger portion, or as the children grow you may find you need to prepare more food, these are reasonable requests when delivered in polite tones. But cooking 'especially for me'? Haha, yeah, fuck off.

One meal here too apart from slight variations - some like/don't like certain veg. One doesn't like cous cous so I'll do them rice. One prefers salmon so I do that but essentially it's the same meal.

There are things we'll do when a particular child is away such as a spicy curry rather than mild. But most things are adaptable. I'll add jalapeños to a chilli, chipotle sauce to tacos, etc. as it's easier to spice it up then cool it down. This is because said child finds Nando's plain too spicy (what a wuss )

Sancia, sometimes it's not a matter of what your children eat not being 'good enough' for you. Just different. I'm on a high protein diet at the moment and DH is vegetarian which DS doesn't want to eat that every day.

Tonight I'm having salmon and veg (DS doesn't want that two days in a row) DH is having a halloumi wrap (cooked himself) and DS is probably having pasta with chicken because he needs a lot of energy, is growing and doesn't need to lose weight!

We quite often have the same, but some days we don't because we've got different needs, not because some of us are having better food. Adults sort themselves out in those situations though!