To expect my DH to get out of bed

[Maxwellthecat]

So my DH wakes up earlier than me, he always has.
I have broken sleep because my very indulged cat gets me up in the night to drink from the tap (this is a topic for another post and I really don't mind getting up).
Recently my DH has started turning on the light in the bedroom when he wakes up and reading in bed, he thinks it's unreasonable of me to expect him to get up as the bed is 'cozy' and downstairs is 'cold'. He has got me an eye mask to put on to block out the light but it still wakes me up.
So can you settle this for us? Should he get up or should I put up?

How much earlier?

And why the fuck are you getting up just for a cat?!

Your DH is being massively unreasonable to put the light on! No. He wakes up early, he gets out of bed if he wants to read.

He is being unreasonable. Get him a Kindle Paperwork for Christmas/birthday if possible as they are fab and what I use if I want to read but not disturb DH.

Depends on the times, if it's 5am no he should try to go back to sleep or go elsewhere. If it's 10 am then more reasonable of him to want to read. Could get him pj's to wear? My dh doesn't wear pj's to bed but has then to wear in mornings while sorting out dcs. Of course the main point is don't get up for your cat then you'll be as equally well rested! Can't you get one of those little fountain things for it to drink from? You are making yourself tired by allowing a cat to have this level of control over you!

Do you have kids? The cat needs sleep training

Just leave water in the sink for the cat and lock it out of the bedroom.

What time is it?
He should also not switch the light on unless it is after 6am- but for me its fair game after 6 as that is daytime.

Maybe a good compromise would be that you lock the cat out and he doesn't get up early and read.

Sounds like you love your cat more than dh!!

You're both being unreasonable. He shouldn't disturb you needlessly but you shouldnt be pandering to a bloody cat that keeps you up at night. And I say that as the owner of 2 cats, I know my cat servant place but I would draw the line at broken sleep every night.

So it's fine for your cat to wake you up in the night for you to actually get out of bed to get it a drink, but your DH can't turn the light on and read quietly of a morning.

Well I guess you're making it clear to your DH where he comes in the pecking order.

Bizzare.

Buy him a kindle paperwhite - problem solved. i love to read in the morning. Dp bought himself me one.

Get your cat a water fountain...

Get yourself a separate bedroom

Sounds like you love your cat more than dh!!

That is what I also thought. DH is at the bottom of the heirarchy in the house.

I think it's unfair on your dh that you get up several times to feed a cat. He is no better.

You are both being unreasonable

We need context here.

How early is this ?

Get a water fountain for the cat (I've got one do you want it, our boys don't use it unless it's switched off).

Your Dh is BVU for turning on the lights when you're still trying to sleep, you could turn all the lights on when you get up to turn the tap on for the cat.

You what now?

Holy crap, I have two extremely indulged spoilt cats but getting up to turn on a tap for them is crazy!!

It sounds like he's getting back at up u for disturbing him throughout the night to turn on a tap for a cat. Seriously..
Wtf!

I always wake up early. If we aren't doing anything I read as it helps me sleep. I also love reading in bed.

It's a kindle fire though so no light on.

Yabu for being happy to feet up for the cat to drink from the tap, but unhappy that dh disturbs you.

I wake horribly early and read my Paperwhite or MN on phone. No way would I be getting out of bed to read. DH sometimes reads late with the light on. If it wakes me I soon go back to sleep because it makes me feel cosy somehow, but I suppose that's just me.

he gets up at 5am-6am I get up at 7.30am

The cat thing is irrelevant really and is a long story. He doesn't wake up when I get up with the cat hence why I get up (he's profoundly deaf in one ear and deliberately sleeps on his good ear). Neither of us mind about the cat, it's true that our cats are probably at the top of the pecking order, because we can't have children they are like our babies and I'm not ashamed to say that. They probably do need sleep training though.

I wouldn't be impressed if DP woke me up to turn the tap on for the cat, tbh. You might not mind doing it but he clearly does!

Until you stop waking him up multiple times a night to turn taps on for the cat, I don't think you can complain when he wakes up early to read.

But, I think you'll find he stops getting the urge to wake you up reading when you stop waking up for the cat - buy it a water fountain and shut it downstairs!

X-post. Are you sure he doesn't mind? If DP wakes me in the night, I don't show it, I just ignore him and try and go back to sleep, but that doesn't mean I don't hear it and find it disturbing.

Luckily he only ever gets up once (if at all) so it's not really an issue. If it was multiple times a night, every night, I would get annoyed as I struggle to go back to sleep once woken.

We had a cat that would howl in the night for someone to get up and turn the tap on, we bought a pet fountain and the howling stopped!

Him reading has nothing at all to do with the cat. If anything he indulges the cat more than I do.

I just told him that people are saying that and he laughed and laughed at the idea he's doing it for revenge.