To expect my DH to get out of bed

[Maxwellthecat]

So my DH wakes up earlier than me, he always has.
I have broken sleep because my very indulged cat gets me up in the night to drink from the tap (this is a topic for another post and I really don't mind getting up).
Recently my DH has started turning on the light in the bedroom when he wakes up and reading in bed, he thinks it's unreasonable of me to expect him to get up as the bed is 'cozy' and downstairs is 'cold'. He has got me an eye mask to put on to block out the light but it still wakes me up.
So can you settle this for us? Should he get up or should I put up?

This would really wind me up.

If he wants to read in bed, he should use a kindle to cut down the light and keep quiet. If he's too selfish to do that, he should read in a different room so you can sleep.

And i bet he wouldn't like it if you got all excited to see him after getting up to turn the tap on for the cat, woke him up for a backrub, and then said that if he was awake enough to tell you he was asleep he was awake enough to hug you.

The light is reasonable - some of us need light to help us wake properly on these dark mornings. Being noisy isn't fair, he is in the wrong there.

Putting the light on would be OK if it was one of those clip-on reading lights, or one of these - www.lyco.co.uk/advice/led-reading-lights-offer-an-efficent-focus/. But commenting on what he is reading and expecting you to interact with him is not excusable.

If you have something like an iPad, he doesn't even have to buy a Kindle - he could just download the Kindle or other book app and read on that. He can keep reading real books for the rest of the day.

So he doesn't just read quietly but deliberately wakes you up? That's a totally different case and of course he's totally U. I don't think my DH would survive if he woke me up a couple of hours early to share what he's reading or ask for backrub.

Massively selfish, unreasonable and childish to boot!

How can any grown up think this selfish behaviour is acceptable?

The light is reasonable - some of us need light to help us wake properly on these dark mornings.

Light's not reasonable when your partner is still sleeping, unless it's time for them to get up anyway. Which isn't the case here.

If OPs DH needs light to help him wake properly, he should leave the bedroom before turning lights on.

The light is reasonable - some of us need light to help us wake properly on these dark mornings

No, it's not reasonable! If you need light to wake up, go downstairs and wake up in peace! You don't get to disturb your partner at 5am because it "helps you wake up".

CURSE YOU SARACEN!!!!

You have discovered the hidden truth. Now I will have to kill you!

(bounds off over the rooftops, mouse in mouth and fur sticking out at angles is sheer rage)

On the cusp of controlling. Nice.

I am in bed cuddling my cat. She used to drink out of the sink until we had the bathroom remodled. I don't miss that! She will get me up twice in the night for food. She's 18 and needs constant feeding.

OP, your husband is being selfish. He can go and make a cosy nest of blankets in the living room. He has options for his reading but you need to be in bed in the dark to sleep.

ok so he's apologised and told me that he'll go downstairs in future but is it ok for him to come back to bed when i wake up for cuddles and chats, which is obviously fine.
thabks everyone!

YANBU

However, it's an easy one to solve.... First time the cat wakes you up, turn on all the lights. If DH complains, pass him the eye mask. Second time the cat wakes you up, it's his turn to get up. Gently nudge, kick or shake him awake until he gets up. Carry this on through the night & he'll be wanting to sleep in until 7.30 too.

When he's got the message that he should quietly sneak off elsewhere to read, then suggest he brings you a cup of tea at 7.15. Then you might feel more in the mood for hugs & back rubs.....

Cross posts - glad he's decided to be reasonable!

Shelby
However, it's an easy one to solve.... First time the cat wakes you up, turn on all the lights. If DH complains, pass him the eye mask.

That is the most evil thing I have ever read.

I salute you!