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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Showing my mum photos and suddenly realised why I'm so low in confidence

330 replies

Luzylou · 25/09/2016 18:23

My mum came yesterday and I started showing her holiday pics of our trip to New York. One particular photo was a selfie I took in Central Park, laying on the grass with the bright sun on my face. Now I know I'm no oil painting and due to my lack of confidence I don't take many selfies and if I do, I tend not to show anyone them. Anyway this particular pic I was quite proud of as I thought I looked pretty fresh faced for a change and it showed the tranquility of the park so I included it in the holiday pics. Anyway her immediate reaction was to squeal "oh yikes! That's awful! Haha was that after a night out by any chance?? You look half asleep! Hehe no sorry Lou, I don't like that one!". I awkwardly laughed it off but I was hurt actually as I thought it was a decent picture. Other people that have seen it liked it so the reaction shocked me and put me on a downer.

This isn't the first example of this though, she did it recently when I showed her a photo of me at work in uniform. I thought it was a decent picture yet her first reaction was "oh Lou! What an awful picture! You look really old!! Were you stressed that day by any chance?? Haha"

She's done it loads and used to do it when I was a kid as well. I once experimented with a new hairstyle as a teen and when I went to show her she burst out laughing and said "what on earth have you done to your hair! Looks like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards!".
My confidence has always been shit (no surprises there eh!) so examples like this just mortify me and make me not bother incase I get laughed at or in case people don't like it.

Aibu to be hurt about the holiday pic? She didn't need to say it was amazing but if she didn't like it, why say anything?? I'd never dream of ripping someone's pic to bits like that, even if I did think they looked rough!

OP posts:
user1470269632 · 27/09/2016 07:00

Wow,'I could have written that original post myself!

It's beyond me, being a mother myself now, how my DM could/can behave so rudely, abusively and cruel at my physical appearance in the flesh and in photos. Her FB profile is telling IMHO that she has a photograph of absolutely everyone, including distant relatives from both sides of the family. Except none whatsoever of me. None at all.

I can't imagine anyone who has contributed to this post, who would behave in the same way, to their own children, because of our own childhoods. Mind you, we probably make other mistakes because of our experiences, as none of us are aupposed to be perfect!😉

I know that I wouldn't behave like my DM, that's for sure. I've made a point of treating my DC exactly the same, with much love, loads of cuddles/huggles, kindness, compassion, positive compliments, fairness, open to any forms of discussion whatsoever and yes, I think I've got them pretty well sussed. I know I was so much like my wild child, DS, despite what he thinks. Although he's now sensing that I have a 'past' (I just hint knowingly, but don't spill any beans. It wouldn't be fair to SH, anyway. The more mysterious DS views me, the more respect I seem to get, lol. He has to learn and accept that I haven't always been his mother and married to his father my entire life, and the same applies to his father! I most definitely 'lived''. I'm so glad in hindsight, due to my incurable chronic conditions that I now endure, that I did all those wild and wonderful things. My DD on the other hand is very predictable. She's the total opposite to me; and she's most definitely not a wild child! She very much takes after DH, in that respect. She likes to be safe, whereas DS enjoys risk taking sports and socialising! I find it fascinating to watch them growing up and developing into adulthood. It really does make me smile when on occasion they both sometimes go into the other's bedroom and feel they can offload and are both very amicable and caring of the other.. There's no evidence of resentment between them.

I go out of my way to not duplicate DM's behaviour to my own children as I'm sure other MNer's do too. I listen to them both, ask about their days,etc and respect their thoughts and feelings. I've tried to teach them that there are occasions where we just have to accept that sometimes other people have differences of opinion, and that we can beg to differ, but not to fall out about it. I'm sure many other MNer's feel the same way as I do.

Chocness, I had the same dilemma as you regarding presents to my parents, from whom I'm now cut off. My DP's agreed very readily to my decision instantly and I get the distinct feeling of a sense of relief from them. I know it's better for me too; physically and mentally. I decided in the end to give Amazon vouchers as you can buy just about everything imaginable with those! I felt they weren't personalised and they were not in the least really personally imaginative, as I used to spend hours thinking, planning and getting, which has never been appreciated or acknowledged. It's a struggle too walk too far these days, due to my disabilities, too. She never thinks/asks me what I would like or for any ideas, so why should I?! I just get the predictable cash. Also, I know that she can't regift the voucher to someone else😂! She would have no choice but to buy something for herself. That way it should be perfect and exactly to her taste. I covered my back too, by sending it recorded (the free one) delivery. That way it couldn't be claimed that it was lost in the post as has occurred before. I won't lower myself to her standards.

AIBU because I feel somewhat undermined. DM has never bothered with our children before. Never. And they're both in their early twenties. She's always been tied up,doing things for my siblings DC, never mine. The DC have asked me before and I've always felt awkward answering them because I didn't know why she/they always took out my siblings DC and not mine. If she does have a grievance she should take it out on me, to my face, rather than 'punishing my
DC. Now, out of the blue, she's contacted both my children via their mobiles, with no mention to my husband (and obviously not me) who's still talking to her. DM had arranged outings with them separately. For the first time in their entire llive's, DS was taken food shopping and a really mice meal
out late last week. Then she's also contacted DD and arranged to visit an exhibition, then shopping and lunch out, afterwards. Always somewhere moderately expensive. DM also invited DD & BF to a buffet lunch, at theirs, the following day.. She's never done this before for either of them, only my siblings DC. I've only ever been asked to lunch twice in ten years! I think my DC are feeling somewhat bewildered at all this sudden attention they're now suddenly receiving for the first time in their lives.

AIBU, thinking that DM is actually using them to get at me? It's exactly the sort of thing she would do,tbh. She does and has played dirty in the past, even with her own DM. I just resent my DC being used as pawns and at some point she'll lose interest. Then they'll be left feeling hurt. I know if I spoke to either of them now, they won't be able to see that. Maybe my DS, a tad. He's always been suspicious of her motives since she's really let rip and shouted at him several times. He really doesn't forget! I'm very worried... 🤔🙄😔

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 27/09/2016 08:08

Nasty mum. My dad was very critical of all his children and I would say that none of us have self-confidence due to that. What a horrible legacy and not one he could be proud of. Don't show her any more photos.
Answer back, if she says that you've aged say that she has too. Maybe even tell her that she has a nasty tongue. "What's your problem, pal?" Never ask her for her opinion. Some people get off on telling others what they think - without thinking. Don't take any heed of her remarks, she can only make you feel bad if you give her permission to do so.

Mittensonastring · 27/09/2016 08:32

My Mother is just like this, she has 5 daughters and all of my sisters have eating disorders due to the pressure and negativity. Mother is a very physically beautiful woman and was a dancer and model when younger. She was ok with us all until we hit puberty and it is obvious she saw us as competition. I always thought she was just horrid and was a total bookworm which she disapproved of to the point I became a librarian.

My sisters still crave her approval I knew when very young it was never coming so have spent a lifetime not feeding her self obsession.

mylaptopismylapdog · 27/09/2016 08:35

Lovely pictures Chiquita, thank you for raising this Luzylou.With me it's an older sister who used to laugh at me when I was a teen and had issues with all the other women in the family. These people are just toxic and won't change basically try and avoid.

heron98 · 27/09/2016 08:52

My mum's the same. I love her but my God, she's negative.

If I go round for dinner she'll open the door and say "oh heron, didn't you wash your hair this morning?". (Erm, yes I did and by the way, hello).

I have learned not to care. It's just her way and I pay it no heed. I think I look fine and that's the main thing.

Humidseptember · 27/09/2016 09:02

Answer back, if she says that you've aged say that she has too. Maybe even tell her that she has a nasty tongue. "What's your problem, pal?

i agree I really think its vital, to fight back, not because you will ever change them, or anything else except it keeps your own boundaries and doesnt depress your spirit.

My DH DM does this = always looking at him with critical eye, made huge fuss over his clothes at funerals and weddings and yet his DSIS struts in looking like an absolute shambles.

Humidseptember · 27/09/2016 09:03

As said earlier my own DM would make comments on my appearance but I trusted her - as they were 10% of usually nice and kind things and if she said " your hair needs a wash, you look pale, put some make up on" it was because I probably needed too.

You can tell when people are just negtive to have power over you and be cruel.

Birdandsparrow · 27/09/2016 09:09

I think the problem with fighting back is that often the toxic person (mother) then goes on the defensive and ends up making you feel you're the awful one for standing up for yourself.
For instance, a few years before I stopped finally having any contact with my mother we had this incident:
DM: You should wear more make up, you look better with make up. Your lips are so pale, you should wear lipstick
ME: I'm quite happy without and it just rubs off as soon as I have a drink
DM¨: but your lips are so pale, you look washed out
ME: I'm fine thanks
On and on and eventually I said in a slightly annoyed voice that I didn't want to. Cue sulking and not talking to me for three days and me apologising for upsetting her.

0SometimesIWonder · 27/09/2016 09:20

She was ok with us all until we hit puberty
This is exactly how it was with my mother. I gradually came to believe that she really didn't like me; otherwise, why would she say such hurtful things to her daughter......

Sgoinneal · 27/09/2016 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1471534185 · 27/09/2016 11:22

what utter rubbish you look great!!!

biscuitz72 · 27/09/2016 11:28

I think some people are so unhappy with themselves that they only see the negatives, even in others. So it's nothing to do with you really, she's just projecting her insecurities onto you.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 27/09/2016 11:35

Do you think they are COMMON or whether threads like this just send out a klaxon, Sporner-style, and we find ourselves converging? Is it a symptom of their generation, women born in the 40s and early 50s? Are we harder on our mums who should be the "soft, nurturing, loving" ones rather than our dads? My dad's a lovely bloke, but quite spineless. Still, he was loving, and interested, the total opposite of her. I miss him a lot - he's still alive but has severe dementia and doesn't know me any more.

thetemptationofchocolate · 27/09/2016 11:37

Heron my mum has done the hair comment only hers was, didn't you brush your hair today? She also told me my legs were fat.
That's just two comments, out of many.

I don't think people realise how much these things hurt. I'm sure she didn't mean to upset me, at least I hope so!

Littleballerina · 27/09/2016 12:09

Mine is the same. No praise, only criticism. She didn't come to my wedding as she didn't like my (now ex) husband (but is now friendly with him, told me not to go to college as I wouldn't get a job in that field anyway, told me I wasn't parenting properly and would I like her to take my child to live with her (dressed it up as doing me a favour) and didn't attend my graduation ceremony because she would find it dull. Sadly she treats one of my dc the same.
I never look right, never make the right choices. basically anything that makes me happy is wrong.
My brother can see what she is like and pulls her up on it. She's never done it to him.
We are now mostly no contact although stupidly I try to create a relationship every now and then with her, for example inviting her over. Every time she has an excuse.
She is 3rd generation of shitty mothers and I am breaking that cycle with my dc.

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 27/09/2016 12:18

Always, always bat it back to her. She'll only go on getting away with it if you don't challenge her.
"You must have been a great loss to the diplomatic corps!" is a fave of mine. There are loads of put-downs that are fitting.

FishinthePerculator · 27/09/2016 12:26

Reading this thread with tears in my eyes. I recognise so many of these scenarios.
I have shown my mother similar holiday photos, only to be told to "get rid of that one, you look huge/old/saggy/frumpy/bloated/bad teeth or a general mess..." every time. When I was younger and lived at home - even as a young child - we would go through a ritual of inspecting our family holiday snaps when they came back from the developers (old gimmer, grew up pre-digital), hooting with laughter at the terrible photos and then destroying them. Looking back, most of the pictures destroyed were mine and always because I looked fat or ugly in some way. I remember one photo in particular, from my very first holiday with now-DH, DM said I should not destroy it but keep it on my fridge to stop my snacking and inspire me to lose weight. I kept the photo, although not on the fridge, even though I believed it was terrible, and I came across it again when moving house last year. I was 21 years old, size 10 and looked amazing!
Growing up, I was always told to wear baggy clothes as these were flattering and hid all my sins. Looking back, I was a fairly skinny child, although, when puberty hit, I went from flat chested to a DD-cup overnight.

These days I am overweight and obviously a disappointment to DM. I am a size 14 although need a 16 on the top in some shops due to those giant norks (G-cup now). A couple of years ago, DM bought me pyjamas for Christmas in size 18-20. When I said I would exchange them for a smaller size, she just shrugged and said she couldn't remember my exact size, "all fat sizes are the same to me".
Last year, we had a lovely photo taken together during a day out. Well, I thought it was lovely. Mums response was, "good god, you look like you're going to swallow me up. I can't show anyone that".
When I got married she got upset, telling me every mother dreams of their daughter's wedding day but she never expected I would be a fat bride and was ruining things for her.
Recently I tried on a dress in a shop which I thought looked bloody fantastic. The sales assistant said it looked great and then DM came over, made a face and said "I suppose it's the fashion these days for women not to care about their stomachs sticking out and fat bits exposed. In my day, you always looked for something flattering but if you're happy to look like that then go ahead and buy it".

And then there is my hair. After years of being told it was such a mess it needed straightening to within an inch of its life, I have, this year, embraced the curly girl method. I think it looks great and have had so many compliments but my mother tells me it looks like I've been dragged through a bush backwards and I need a sleeker and more sophisticated look.
It's not just appearance though, she criticises everything, including my work and hobbies. She once told me she didn't understand why I manage to have so many friends - they must all be boring like me.

The funny thing is that she's so hung up on weight but is also critical about my attempts to get healthier. A few years ago I discovered running. I now love running - it clears my head, relaxes me and while the pounds haven't dropped off, I feel healthier and have definitely become leaner and more toned. My mother thinks that running is for men and not ladylike at all. She can't believe I would go out in public without make-up on and then come home a sweaty red-faced mess, or tells me I'm too heavy to run in public and people must be laughing at me.

Oxfordblue · 27/09/2016 12:38

I think you need to arm yourself with some comebacks;

Oh mum, you are funny, people said how much I looked like you.

StressGirl · 27/09/2016 12:57

Luzylou I think you need to step back and realise the person who has the real problem here is your mum not you at all. As you said you would never do this and for that, you know you are the better person. Your mum obviously has a few issues herself and just projecting those onto you.Chin up, pick yourself up and dust yourself down and take as many selfies as you want.

SlowJinn · 27/09/2016 13:20

chiquita1 but she is NOT a good person. She is emotionally manipulative and that is the least of it.

And no-one deserves to be cheated on, whatever they look like.

Tell your mum how much she has hurt you. Then tell her to fuck off and cut her out of your life because you deserve better.

SlowJinn · 27/09/2016 13:24

FishinthePerculator

Jesus wept your mother is a nightmare!

How dare she say the things she does?

What a horrible woman. Has she any redeeming features at all?

MrsHathaway · 27/09/2016 13:30

"Flattering" is such a loaded word! My mother seems to think it means "drenching, to prevent any possible hint of the actual body shape underneath". I think on the other hand that the tent look is awfully unflattering and that clothes which acknowledge your body will generally suit you better.

Confusednotcom · 27/09/2016 13:50

Fish and others I'm so sorry. I always knew my mum was v critical, my dad too for that matter, but the more time apart I have from them the more their weird comments give me a WTF moment. DM worrying to me about what DN aged four looks like (he is gorgeous). Really DM?!?! Dread to think what's been said about my DC but I do know she is the one with the problem. I just don't understand why she feels the urge to be so negative and critical.
DD has his faults but did compliment our looks and intelligence as DCs thank fuck.

Brandnewbrighttomorrow · 27/09/2016 14:01

My brother used to do this all the time - eventually I actually challenged him on it - I asked him how he would feel if I commented negatively on his appearance every time I saw him. To his credit was horrified that I minded so much and I only had to shoot him an evil look to cut him off if he started with it again.

liz70 · 27/09/2016 14:20

"Is it a symptom of their generation, women born in the 40s and early 50s?"

My mum was born '46, but neither she nor my dad (born '41) have ever said anything bitchy or unpleasant to me about my appearance. I'm not massively confident of my looks, but that's just me, nothing to do with my parents.

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