To trust dads, more than men without children, at parks? :(

[debson]

I feel bad about this, but I have no clue if it's a normal way to feel and I can normally guess what Mumsnet would say so don't bother, but I really don't know about this.

I was in the park earlier with DC (5 and 9) I always sit on the bench closest to the only exist.

There have been a couple of times when a father (who clearly has DC at the park) help youngest DD onto the monkey bars for example, then just go with their kids on to a different bit of equipment. We are a friendly village and do tend to interact with the DC (if it's obvious they go to same school, etc.)

However, I've had it once where (and this is with 9 year old DD and no contact involved) a man was pointing to bits of the rope that DD should put her foot onto (you know, to help her get to the top) and I went over and made casual convo and he had no children there

Is it wrong to have not even thought for a second about that dad, but felt uneasy about that man for the rest of the time while we were there?

Far be it for me to say that a man with no kids is more likely to be a paedophile than one with kids,but I did ask myself,why would a man with no kids (with him,or just somewhere else at the time) be hanging around in a kids' playground?

If you're in an area with lots of children and it looks like you're taking pictures, you need to grow up and just accept that it's not the time to play pokemon go

Or people need to grow up and not assume the worst. People are allowed to play Pokemon Go, even in parks, despite what other people might think of them. If you're concerned you can go ask them if they caught anything good - if they actually are playing Pokemon they'll be happy to show you and if they are doing something nefarious they obviously won't and you can then call the police or whatever.

The play park that I take my grandson to has a notice at the gate No adults without children.

I think we can guess want the OP wants us to say. All single (possibly) childless men are obviously predatory paedophiles who hang around in parks waiting to abuse kids.

You DO know that the vast majority of child abusers are known (and/or related) to the children, don't you ?

This attitude was brought home to me recently when a friend told me that her neighbour had turned down a primary reception place...because the teacher was male. And, obviously, "all male primary teachers are obviously pedo's, innit ?"

I could weep.

YABTU and paranoid. The country is not full of peodophiles & murderers. Grow up.

Or people need to grow up and not assume the worst

It's not such a wild assumption to make that people are taking pictures when they're playing pokemon go. Not everyone will be comfortable going up to grown men and asking what they're doing on their phone. Just, for once in your life, please, STOP playing pokemon go...

Or stop going to public places if you're too scared that people might be predators. For fucks sake, public spaces are for everyone hence the name being "public". If there is a sign on the park saying no unaccompanied adults then that's fair enough, lone adults should leave, but the parks that have no such rules mean that everyone has a right to be there as long as they are not doing anything untoward - playing pokemon is not untoward.

You're being ridiculous. Everyone knows playgrounds are built for children. Children are vulnerable. Pedophiles take pictures of children. It's fucking pokemon go. Who's really that childish to refuse to stop playing pokemon go because it's their RIGHT in a PUBLIC SPACE even though they look like they're taking pics of children? Anyway this conversation is ridiculous it's effing. pokemon. go.

astronomical

Why should men stop doing something that is completely legal in a public place?

I've already given examples of playgrounds that aren't built just for children - two near me that have outdoor gym equipment and one that has a special equipment for the elderly, all next to the children's equipment.

Its childish to expect other people to change the way they live their lives because you have fears that they might be doing something else. You can't expect that. Nevermind the fact its perfectly legal to take pictures of people in public places.

Because legality isn't the be all and end all

When its legality versus paranoia I know which one I want to win. I don't want DD growing up in a world where people can't do what they are allowed to do, which is not harmful to anyone, just because someone might be get the wrong idea.

Why should men stop doing something that is completely legal in a public place?

Because the Daily Mail and other middlebrows say that paedophiles lurk around every corner....

Okay who gives a shit about the parks near you we OBVIOUSLY aren't talking about those types of parks. You're being ridiculous so I'm not responding to you anymore.

You can't expect other people to make concessions for your paranoia. I'm amazed some people can leave the house from the tone of their comments.

We're talking about being cautious and aware of how you might be coming across in an area designated for children. It's nothing to do with paranoia.

astronomical
"Because legality isn't the be all and end all"

it is though, the OP said park, presumably with a play area in it. If she is really bothered she could go as far as to call the police.

I don't understand what you mean...

The play park that I take my grandson to has a notice at the gate No adults without children.

If it's a very small park, or part of a bigger one with equipment for children. fine: but you can't keep adults without children out of most parts of most parks.

But using a phone with a camera around other people's children is just asking for trouble. When I take photos of my previously-mentioned great-niece I am careful that no other child is in shot. If anyone seriously asked me to show them the photos I had taken I would. They would have to take my word for it that the child was my great-niece if I had taken her alone, which I often do.

Why are people confusing people playing on their phones, sitting on benches and walking around...

... with people standing by the play equipment touching random children?

They're not remotely the same thing. No one's claiming all childless folk should be chased from shared spaces with pitchforks. Just that the ones touching random kids should, I dunno, not touch random kids on climbing frames?

The posters who claimed they'd be happy for lone strangers to wander over and help their kids up slides - yeah. Right. OK.

I wonder what happens when these kids grow up and have been taught that any stranger is dangerous. They have never learnt how to assess a risk because Mummy assumes all single men are dangerous. hey don't know how to keep themselves safe because they have only ever been protected.

And when our boys grow up - your beautiful DS's that you are so worried will be victims - they won't have learnt how to approach strangers and they may end up being accused.

When your 15 year old in 12 years time "hangs about" somewhere - as teens do - and he's a bit big for his age and looks awkward/shifty - again as teens so often do. Then you'd better hope that some hysterical mother doesn't call the police.

Really - this is mad.

The posters who claimed they'd be happy for lone strangers to wander over and help their kids up slides - yeah. Right. OK.

Yeah, 'cos that happens ALL the time

astronomical

I mean that if people are so concerned and are worried about talking to lone men then they can proceed in a legal manner by reporting that person to the police.

I wonder what happens when these kids grow up and have been taught that any stranger is dangerous. They have never learnt how to assess a risk because Mummy assumes all single men are dangerous. hey don't know how to keep themselves safe because they have only ever been protected.

So many stupid assumptions. Funny and annoying at the same time.