To disageee that a bride can't decide?

[mummytofourbabies]

Was invited to a wedding and have since received an email from the bride telling me that all guests are forbidden from wearing a hay or fascination?
Wtf?
Does this actually happen now?

[TondelayaDellaVentamiglia]

christmas cracker hats! ...that's what you need!

Just as they get to the "does anyone know just cause or impediment....?" everyone pulls their crackers and puts on their crown!

[ConvincingLiar]

Weird. No dressing like a mourner, a bride, the missing bridesmaid or a sex worker, other than that rules are unreasonable (unless venue imposed - stilettos damaging precious floors).

[Memoires]

Oh I'd love to see Arfarf's idea happen!

[Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016]

Traffic cones with lace adornment OK tho?

[mummytofourbabies]

Technically yes. It's not a hat, right?

[Koan]

I think it's lovely to convey if hats aren't necessary, for eg. As weddings get less formal, that's happening more but people don't want to get it wrong, so good to put them at ease (and accept that some will only feel at ease with a hat at a wedding). Same thing funerals - more and more families don't actually want everyone in black or overly smart, so say black is optional, or invite people to add touches of a particular colour symbolic for the loved one. BUT they don't have to. It happened to us after indicating the (optional) dress code, that work colleagues did want smart and older people felt disrespectful if not in black And that was ok because ultimately we did want everyone to feel comfortable and at the same time we had our freedom not to wear clothes we would be uncomfortable in.

[sonlypuppyfat]

A friend of mine asked me to be her bridesmaid. I was thrilled I'd never been one before, but I did the unthinkable I got pregnant my friend lost the plot saying I'd spoil her photos I'd look awful, I was 35 and married not that made any difference. I stood down in the end she wanted me to pay for everything dress shoes hair make up the lot. I think her marriage lasted a year

[ElspethFlashman]

I'm not particularly keen on hats and fascinators but actually banning them is such a waste of energy.

I don't usually wear either to weddings just cos I'm not personally keen BUT in this case my rebelliousness would kick in and I'd get the sparkliest headband thing I could find, just in defiance.

Actually.....I'd have some fabulous satin turban, like Alexis Colby Carrington Dexter.

[TrippyMcTrapFace]

I'm with reup.

[MiddleClassProblem]

I hat wearing them so would be relieved!

I have had it the other way, requesting ladies to wear hats/ fascinators to which I go... Ugh lol

[mummytofourbabies]

Really guys?? Is that all YOU can pick at??
Yes I used text speak-not her, that was me. Not really the end of the world though is it, was an accident I apogise profusely and won't ever let it happen again

[MiddleClassProblem]

Tbf they prob put it because I never do at other weddings we've been to together

I think my tense are all over the place today, sorry

[Koan]

But the growing trend of strict enforcing, beyond guidelines, what guests will wear - I don't understand. It just seems so controlling and stage managey.

[665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast]

neither hat nor fascinator - but is it the right colour
you could email it to her and ask....

[mummytofourbabies]

Really can't ever understand why everyone has such an issue with "text speak" when you all use abbreviations on here all the time, it's the same thing isn't it??

[mummytofourbabies]

Love that 665

[ElspethFlashman]

Actually I'd wear this thing. It's hideous and will really stand out in the photos.

But it's a headband so it's ok, right??!

[AdoraBell]

I've been to a wedding were the bride said she would like female gusts to wear hats, if they felt comfortable. Never been instructed to do so though.

[elfonshelf]

Could it be an issue with FMIL or something?

I recall a wedding where the groom's mother had a total fit about hats. Basically the bride and groom were from very different backgrounds and the MOG thought that the bride's family would all turn up in hats and morning dress and show up her side of the family and so tried to ban anyone from wearing anything she deemed as 'posh'.

MOB just said that she'd already bought one and would be wearing it. Poor bride who was rather young and insecure went round trying to ban everyone else from wearing a hat to keep FMIL happy and got labelled as a controlling bridezilla by anyone who didn't know the backstory.

The parents of the bride and groom haven't spoken since the wedding and that was nearly 20 years ago!

[reup]

Simples isn't text speak - it's something from a not very funny advert - I couldn't believe some put had put it in an invitation.

I agree though its extremely obsessive and rude to dictate what your guests wear. Glad I don't have friends that do that.

[blueturtle6]

Do you have long hair, could you have a do which looks like a hat/fascinator?

[PerspicaciaTick]

Crowns and tiaras?

Extreme hairstyles?