To think a 10 year old girl shouldn't be encouraged to see herself as "nonbinary"

[MrsJamin]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-37383914

How is this story so lauded by the right-on BBC? It's so very irresponsible of the parents to persuade a girl that she doesn't need to be a girl. Girls should be told that they are girls, and that doesn't prevent them from liking or doing anything that people say boys should only do. How does she even know what hormone blockers are? She could mess up her health forever by taking hormones in her adolescence. :(

(and yes, another trans thread - I don't care, this is SCARY SHIT right here when girls don't want to be girls)

I get the who trans thing. But this none binary confuses me. Surely kids can play with any toy or participate in any game or play regardless of gender. Both my kids do. Hope I'm not offending anybody as obviously if you've not experienced it then it's harder to understand. Most of us aren't all masculine or all feminine though are we hmm.

I think the mother is weird to move straight on to discussing if the child is going to be gay or straight. I can't see why you need to discuss this with any 10 year old. In what way has a ten year old always been more attracted to boys? I think the mother has a few hang ups.

I do think, for whatever reason, some people feel uncomfortable in their own bodies but to immediately make this about sex just doesn't seem right.

OMFG.
I've just read it.
'"What would be your name if you were a boy? You've always been more attracted to boys, would you be gay man or a straight man?"'

I think the mum sounds abusive. That conversation with a 10 year old sounds like highly inappropriate sexualisation. How dare anyone do this to a kid?

This whole story makes me really uncomfortable because of how public it is.

DD and I watched a programme on CBBC about the child's transition from female to male - tbh DD was a bit bored by the whole thing but I thought if it makes the child and the family happy, fair enough. The child explained that the family had done some research into transgender issues, that they had had a lightbulb moment and realised that they were more comfortable as a male and 'had absolutely always been' male.

An hour later I listened to another programme on the radio about the same child who now felt they were non-binary - again the family had done some research, the child had identified with the non-binary option and felt that this was absolutely, definitely who they were now.

A child being encouraged to explore notions of gender with support from loving parents is one thing- I fear that doing so in a very public way risks an awful lot of fallout. If they then decide further along the road that they feel much more female than either male or non-binary, and are definitely, emphatically neither trans nor non-binary after all, I fear the coverage may not be so sympathetic.

I read this yesterday and thought the same.

I wish we were teaching children that there is more than one way to be a girl or a boy, not asking 10 year old girls if they want to be a straight or gay man.

This is child abuse. Let this girl grow up and find her own self, don't push her according to your agenda and certainly don't damage her growing body while you are at it. Personality is not fixed at that age, psychiatrists won't diagnose a person with a personality disorder until mid-twenties, but apparently a ten year old brain can know that it is "non-binary"? As for sexual orientation, that is disgusting. How on earth is a ten year old supposed to know if she is a lesbian or not? And yes, I used the word lesbian because the child is FEMALE. This transactivist gender agenda is sexist and regressive.

I think that actually asking the girl if she's attracted to girls is one of the few sensible things the parents did here - many girls want to transition because they are lesbians, and there is no representation of lesbians in media for children, so they think if they want to marry the princess it logically follows they must become the prince.

But of course, that makes only sense if one intends to follow it up with explaining to the child that being a lesbian is perfectly okay.

YABU
They say clearly they aren't interested in blockers.

I got my first crush on a boy at age 5, I always knew I was a girl and straight. My brother always knew he was gay. Why shouldn't this child know and explore?

If you don't talk to your kids at a young age about sexuality you are leaving their education in the hands of the Internet. It's irresponsible to sit in silence on the subject, otherwise Google will teach your child.

No one in this article is doing anything irreversible at this stage. It is NOT like ECT for mental illness.

Biologically gender is a spectrum and the binary aspect is cultural. Same as race, same a sexuality.

Crystal15, you are so right. I was always regarded as a Tom Boy and now in my 60s I can't honestly remember the last time I wore a dress or bothered with make up but I've been married for donkeys years, have 4 kids and my lack of "feminine" interests like sewing or knitting or make up or whatever has no impact on the fact that I am a woman. Thinking of me at 10 I would have been a prime candidate for this sort of thing, so glad it wasn't around then.

And what's the worst of it is that the BBC - the BBC no less - is propagating this bizarre parenting as if it's progressive and an all round good thing. There are always nutty parents. It's the endorsement by the media that's so irresponsible and horrifying. YANBU.

People should just feel like themselves. I don't what feeling male or feeling female is.

I've said before if I'm a young woman who wants to be a bricklayer, buys her clothes in the menswear section and enjoys sleeping with women she is a gay woman not a man. I can't beat this trend. And she should entirely happy, as a woman, to live this lifestyle.

It seems to be an extension of letting little boys wearing tutus and girls in gender neutral clothes it's just odd

Agree. There was a piece about this on radio 4.

1. As mentioned by a pp, there's absolutely no critique of what feeling like a boy/girl means. The mother said 'Leo is more boy than girl'. What does this mean?

1. Why the need for labels. Would debate whether a label of non-binary does anything other than make the child feel different/special. Why not just support him in being gender-nonconforming without adding stuff?

1. Why parade him in front of the media?

I find the whole idea of gender 'identification' abhorrent so I'm obviously biased

At least this child isn't been encouraged to take life changing medications (yet)

Love all the posters here who have read the article and assumed that the list of questions from the parents were the sole and only discussion or guidance that child received. It's a 10 year old writing and it's a short piece for the BBC. Fairly sure there was more to it than that! Leo does a brilliant and brave job of describing the situation consicely.

Vladthedisorganised, that is really troubling. Why are the parents so keen to push this being a boy, being non binary being gay or straight etc?

I know two adults who have transitioned - one male to female and one female to male. So my DC see me being supportive and non judgmental.

But I also (fuckofffdailymail) have a DD who'd prob jump at the chance of transitioning because she loves being different, she is v anti 'girl cliches'. No way am I encouraging her to explore this etc at her age. They go through so many phases why label yourself? I didn't let her become a dog either or give up school and open a shop at the end of the drive.

Fucking madness

Why can't people just leave children alone to be children

Each child is already a unique person regardless of their gender they just don't see it yet and this is what their parents should be encouraging.

I fear non-binary for children is the next statement where they try too hard to be different by being the same as everyone else. Being a goth, emo or whatever is too mainstream now they are looking for something else.

Could we please have a separate topic for trans stuff on MN, like Brexit. It's just fucking depressing reading the same shit over and over again.

YANBU every day I'm amazed at how these issues are so very regressive particularly for women and girls. EVERYONE in the world is bloody non binary! Why do libfems think they're the first ones to challenge gender stereotypes? They're actually reinforcing them because they're saying "if you're not into pink, make up and shoes you can't possibly be a proper girl". FFS

Will be soon.

Its the whole industry now medical 'professionals', therapists/charlatans, pharmaceutical industry in tow they need to create a consumer market to unload their bullshit.

It's put there to cause a discussion amongst people and to gain a shock reaction.
However, ive yet to come across such an eloquent ten year old. It's so obviously not by a ten year old.

I could weep. I'm glad I don't have young children now.

It seems to be an extension of letting little boys wearing tutus and girls in gender neutral clothes it's just odd

It is not. It is the very opposite of letting little boys wear tutus. It is worshipping gender. Gender is the ideology that forbids little boys from wearing tutus, unless they declare themselves little girls.