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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To turn up to a party with a younger sibling

155 replies

kittymamma · 18/09/2016 10:10

So, party season is here (all my DD friend's birthday's seem to be this half term!) and we have one this morning, however, it has only just occurred to me that I have DS with me too (8 months old) and no alternative provisions for him to be elsewhere.

Is it socially acceptable to turn up to a child's birthday party with a younger sibling? For my DD party a few months ago, I assumed one parent would (and explained to her how she would get her other two in for free due to age), 1 parent messaged me before hand to ask if it was ok and another just turned up with an older sibling, it wasn't a problem for me as I had catered for adults too and the older siblings joined the adult bunch. But is it ok for me to do this today? I honestly hadn't thought about it until now. It is my childminder's son's party so I'm hoping she will assume that but I didn't think of it until now (party in less than 2 hours).

OP posts:
mickeysminnie · 18/09/2016 12:49

Christ on a bike runslikethewind! You would most definitely would not be getting another invite from me!

Waltermittythesequel · 18/09/2016 12:50

There's a school mum who sounds a lot like runs.

Brings other sibling to everything instead if just bloody dropping the invited child. It's so annoying and rude!

KeyserSophie · 18/09/2016 12:50

6 year olds parties are drop and run here unless out of the ordinary.

I do D&R if they're at someone's house or a private venue, but most kids seem to have them in a public place like the trampoline park, which is open to the public at the same time, with toilets on a different floor, or even (in the case of the popular soft play), outside in the shopping centre. Then I'd stay because there's no way the host parents can keep an eye on 25 kids. However, then I'd take the sibling and pay them in. They don't get to eat unless the host invites them to and don't expect party bags.

allsfairinlove · 18/09/2016 12:51

Runs Shock

WorraLiberty · 18/09/2016 12:52

Jesus runs there are no words!

arethereanyleftatall · 18/09/2016 12:52

Runs - I think you think you are being considerate, but actually you're making it cringingly embarrassing for the party host.

WorraLiberty · 18/09/2016 12:56

If it's a public venue and people want to bring siblings to play, that's fair enough imo.

But they shouldn't be anywhere near the party kids, once it's time to sit and eat the food/sing happy birthday etc.

Surely to god at that point the parents would either tell them to continue playing, or (if they're really hungry) go and buy them some food.

Nanny0gg · 18/09/2016 12:56

Runs, do you do all that without checking with the hosts first?

Really?

Not acceptable!

Waltermittythesequel · 18/09/2016 12:57

Exactly, Worra.

If you insist on bringing them, you should feed them at a table with you, not force them into the party. How cringe worthy.

KeyserSophie · 18/09/2016 12:58

Most parents make the deal quite clear round here fortunately

  • sorry no siblings (or at someone's house)= don't even ask
  • Siblings welcome but must be paid for
  • siblings welcome but must be paid for- welcome to join for tea & cake; or
  • siblings welcome, please let me know for numbers
KeyserSophie · 18/09/2016 13:00

ps, in response to the OP, an 8 mo I wouldn't even register. I kind of assume baby siblings will probably come. They;re not exactly going to kick off if they can't join in dead lions Grin

WorraLiberty · 18/09/2016 13:01

Also, I don't imagine it does much for sibling relationships to have them hanging around like a bad smell, when you just want to enjoy the party you were invited to Grin

tibbawyrots · 18/09/2016 13:06

I never stopped at any of the parties my DD went to once she was out of nursery school Blush and tbh none of the other mums did either! It was always drop and run! like the clappers Grin

MetallicBeige · 18/09/2016 13:14

at Runs

👀👀👀

MariaCameFromNashville · 18/09/2016 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GU24Mum · 18/09/2016 13:24

I'm hoping most of the parents will stay to my DD's 6th birthday but more because I don't want to have to supervise loads of excited 5-6 year olds : the teachers are trained and patient and the children aren't as hyper!

youarenotkiddingme · 18/09/2016 13:26

An 8mth old wouldn't even be noticed iyswim?

They aren't going to interrupt, be demanding, want to play, want a party bag.

Ime when DS was younger and parents stayed (me more than others as he has ASD and allergies and parents preferred it!) the babies had star attention while everyone reminisced about the days the kids were that easy and quiet Wink

In fact one party I stayed at I spent the whole time entertaining party hosts baby whilst she did her thing! She was grateful and I was there as she wanted just in case. And I got a latte and cake for my efforts - win win Grin

onecurrantbun1 · 18/09/2016 13:26

I went to a party in a church hall where the mum had to run around to find a spare seat as a sibling had joined in fully, pulled up a chair etc without being invited / informed

Weirdest bit was that mum and dad attended with the kids Hmm

8 month old baby is fine

Waltermittythesequel · 18/09/2016 13:30

Weirdest bit was that mum and dad attended with the kids

I've seen this a lot, too.

I've even seen mum, dad and sibling all rock up to a party that one child was invited to.

The mind boggles.

onecurrantbun1 · 18/09/2016 13:34

Walter yes, that was it in this situation! Mum, dad and toddler sister who was allowed to participate fully. There was even a park with cafe nearby so why didn't one of the parents take the younger sibling off for a bit?

TaliDiNozzo · 18/09/2016 13:35

Runs you are one of those parents, whether you realise it or not. I can guarantee you that you will have been talked about by party hosts for years if that's genuinely how you behave. It's just not acceptable behaviour.

Waltermittythesequel · 18/09/2016 13:38

one exactly!

This drives me mad. Kids parties stress me out because of shit like this!

I'd love if someone who did this came on and explained why.

That1950sMum · 18/09/2016 13:41

Of course it is fine to bring an 8 month old.

Runs - you're bonkers.

Nanny0gg · 18/09/2016 13:43

What's dead lions??

They have to lie on the floor not moving when the music stops. If you move you're out.

Same as Statues, but lying down.

Floggingmolly · 18/09/2016 13:44

Is the 8 month old totally immobile? None of mine would have spent 2+ hours sitting on my knee at that age; they'd have screamed blue murder to get down on the floor and explore...
You weren't planning on doing that, op?