To turn up to a party with a younger sibling

[kittymamma]

So, party season is here (all my DD friend's birthday's seem to be this half term!) and we have one this morning, however, it has only just occurred to me that I have DS with me too (8 months old) and no alternative provisions for him to be elsewhere.

Is it socially acceptable to turn up to a child's birthday party with a younger sibling? For my DD party a few months ago, I assumed one parent would (and explained to her how she would get her other two in for free due to age), 1 parent messaged me before hand to ask if it was ok and another just turned up with an older sibling, it wasn't a problem for me as I had catered for adults too and the older siblings joined the adult bunch. But is it ok for me to do this today? I honestly hadn't thought about it until now. It is my childminder's son's party so I'm hoping she will assume that but I didn't think of it until now (party in less than 2 hours).

[missbishi]

My god are babysitters extinct?

No they aren't but they cost money. Money that not everyone has. Someone who says they "can't get a sitter" may well mean they can't afford to get a sitter.

[nooka]

I'm long past the days of having to organise children's birthday parties thank goodness. My dd for her 16th is having a small group of friends round for a movie and take away. We plan to go out!

Birthday parties should be straightforward. You ask your child who they would like to invite. Write invitations to those children. Get replies and those children whose parents have said they would love to come arrive at the venue and have a lovely time.

However what can happen is drama about who to invite (not leaving children out, worries about inviting naughty children, friendship fall outs etc). Poor responses from parents as to whether invited children are going to come, making it very difficult to know how many to cater for and then random children turning up uninvited making those plans moot.

Of course in smaller communities the inviting parents may know the invited families, so they will know if little Johnny might arrive with his younger brother Bob, and that either mum or dad would stay and supervise and so be relaxed about throwing in an extra chair/ party bag. Which is great, more the merrier probably.

When my two were at primary school I didn't know many of their friends and had met very few of their friends parents so I'd no idea if they had siblings (my children certainly didn't care to ask!), most parents didn't bother to RSVP at all. ds once had a party with extra kids, some of whom behaved very badly. dd on the other hand had a party when virtually no one came at all. The latter was much worse as she was very upset (she got quite upset about the 'bad boys' too, it was a party at home and they messed around with her stuffed animals).

[kittymamma]

Italian - very well put, thank you for this last post. I have tried to avoid being sucked into any debate as I'm new to all this sibling business, hence asking in the first place.

[Italiangreyhound]

Thank you kittymamma. There are dramas, some not of our making. The best thing is not to make too many oursevles! And after 6 and a half years of fertility treatment and then almost two of adoption process I am just so pleased my dd has her long awaited sibling, and we are long awaited second child!

[Drbint]

"Of course telling the party host, or asking, is best"

No, it's not 'best'. It's the only option you should even be considering if you're going to bring an uninvited child. It's the minimum respect to your host.