To hate it when men 'joke' like this.

[KindergartenKop]

Maybe it's not always men but I've never experienced a woman who has done this.

So today I took DS1 to a charity shop. He picked two books at 50p each. I gave Ds a pound coin. The man at the till took the books and said, 'That's four pounds please'. Ds looked worried and the man said 'Only joking, it's one pound'. We paid and left.
I've had people say this sort of thing to me so often and it always beffuddles me and makes me feel stupid. Am I the only person who attracts this form of idiocy? Aibu to be pissed off that this man worried my son? It's not fucking funny!

Vile.

Ah come on, it's heading that way. We've got as far as sexual assault with the bum pinching comment.

And we've already confirmed it's a power play perpetrated by men.

We just need that final leap and we're there

Has anyone got any anecdotal evidence of a child actually finding this sort of 'joke' funny? Seems unlikely. But we've had plenty of evidence of children (and adults) being upset by this 'banter'. Why are so many posters so desperate to defend this type of humour when the only beneficiary is the unfunny twat who wants his ego massaged?

We do not seem to see many other threads where dickish behaviour is so vehemently defended on the grounds of 'toughening up' those on the receiving end.

And as for people 'can't help' their type of humour! !! Give me a break. Does that also apply to the leering type of humour formerly very popular on building sites?

OP said she hated this type of joke. Many of us do too. That's all. It's not the end of the world.

Oh yeah, let's trivialise rape while we're at it. Good one Fulltime.

Oh yes the rehearsing. I remember that. For all sorts of things- standing in a queue at a till when I was a child mentally rehearsing for when it was my turn; having to make phonecalls as a young teenager and writing down everything I wanted to say. (The first couple of times it went straight to Ansaphone I put the phone down straight away, then I learned to write down my Ansaphone message in advance just in case). I was and am NT with no anxiety issues- I'm confident now and happily dive into social situations without a second thought- but I was a very shy child. This type of joke as a child didn't scar me for life or anything, but did rattle my tiny reserves of confidence and did nothing to toughen me up. In fact it was probably repeated successful interactions where adult strangers were kind, or at least neutral, that helped me get from run-away-and-hide shy to relaxed and confident.
I think the nearest I would get now to feeling like I would have felt as a child at being the butt of this joke would be if I stood up to give a work presentation to strangers and got heckled, stand up comedy style.

FWIW my kids feel sorry for people who say unkind things: when we've come across this sort of behaviour I've always said "perhaps the person's family / friends teased them and made them feel upset but taught them they should think it's funny; they can't be very happy can they :( "

YABU
And my neighbour does this all the time - she's an elderly LADY.
It's not men, it's just a style of humour. Not my style of humour but not intended to be offensive - YAB- totally - U.

woman's response to a crap joke from a man is really something!

We do not seem to see many other threads where dickish behaviour is so vehemently defended on the grounds of 'toughening up' those on the receiving end

Nobody is defending dickish behaviour. People are defending a normal, friendly, everyday social interaction. I don't believe it has anything to do with ego at all. Perhaps it wasn't very funny, perhaps the guy doesn't know how to interact with young kids, but I'm pretty sure there was no malice behind it whatsoever.

My God. Life must be so miserable for people so determined to be angry, offended and upset about everything all the time.

When your child goes to school ( and not tied to your skirt) they will encounter lots of teasing and yes, even nastiness.
The world is not a pink fluffy cloud.
Your job as a parent is to instill confidence in to your child. Teach them how to deal with being upset or confused, not to shield them from it all the time.
Children used to learn all these things playing out with other kids, out of the view of their parents. sadly, they don't get that opportunity anymore.
Children are not made of porcelain. They can develop and gain skills to deal with these issues.
I can see it is going to be impossible for teachers to teach soon because they will be dealing with hundreds of complaints from parents about someone upsetting their child.
Providing a child has a parent who can teach them how to deal with stuff that upsets them, they won't grow up damaged by these encounters.
If you react in a hurt way to an episode of teasing,...THAT is what you are teaching your child.

my kids would have asked Mummy why did the man say it was £4 when it was only £1?
How would you answer that? It's a joke?

Yep. I would say "he was just trying to be funny", kids would say "oh.. okay".

The end. Simple. No drama.

Exactly

Simple

I certainly wouldn't start some protracted conversation about how they were probably teased and taught that it's funny and they're 'not very happy'

Dear Lord

When your child goes to school ( and not tied to your skirt) they will encounter lots of teasing and yes, even nastiness...

I'd hope any decent school would deal with these issues and not treat it as an opportunity for the teased children to learn coping strategies. I'd have hoped we were past the attitude that dealing with nasty behaviour is somehow character-building, that children need to learn a 'pecking order' at school and being upset by teasing or bullying means you're too sensitive.

It doesn't build confidence in children. Quite the opposite, actually.

(NB: I am not saying that the 'joke' in the OP or anything like it constitutes bullying, just responding to the general attitude of the quoted post.)

chinlo I'm not 'angry, upset or offended'. Just think a particular type of 'joke' is really rubbish. And not funny. Are you going to keep on with this until everyone says 'Oh, yes, actually it is a good joke'??? Is no one allowed a different opinion?

gottaget I don't know if you realise that many of us do already have confident, happy children coping very well in school? My kids are doing fine, and are totally unaffected by the fact that I think this 'joke' is rubbish. In fact, I'd go as far as to say my opinion on this 'banter' has so far made zero difference to their lives.

When I was a student and worked on a checkout, I had this 'hilarious' older man tell me that the twenty pound note he was paying with was one he'd 'found on the floor' when he came in. I said "Oh." He then laughed at me saying that obviously he was just kidding. I didn't care. I wasn't interested. It had zero effect my confidence or my mood. But I thought he was an idiot.

Not sure who is 'making a song and dance about it'? Unless that is your unkind way og describing the people who have mentioned their actual genuine anxiety about these things? Sometimes the thread goes on a long time because posters have to keep explaining the same simple point to obtuse people; it has no real relation to the actual importance or magnitude of the issue.

It doesn't build confidence in children. Quite the opposite, actually

No, That is your job.

I'm not 'angry, upset or offended'. Just think a particular type of 'joke' is really rubbish. And not funny. Are you going to keep on with this until everyone says 'Oh, yes, actually it is a good joke'??? Is no one allowed a different opinion?

I wasn't necessarily directing that solely to you. The whole world doesn't revolve around you you know!

And I agree that it was a terrible joke.

When I was a student and worked on a checkout, I had this 'hilarious' older man tell me that the twenty pound note he was paying with was one he'd 'found on the floor' when he came in. I said "Oh." He then laughed at me saying that obviously he was just kidding. I didn't care. I wasn't interested. It had zero effect my confidence or my mood. But I thought he was an idiot

How lovely of you.
Considering an old man whose circumstances you don't know to be an idiot?

It is ok to think a joke is rubbish.Some people on here are trying to turn a joke into a nasty, bullying, life changing incident.

Jokers joke away. Note I reserve my right to consider you a twat and will not "play along" but knock yourself out if your only way of interacting with young children is to take the piss out of them.

Gotta Why don't you stop telling people how to parent?

chinlo I know that the 'world doesn't revolve around me*?! I was actually speaking from my own point of view though, if that's ok?

Oh and Gotta - who's being melodramatic now? It makes no differencewhat thothought of the man or what his issues were. It had no effect on him since I was just straightforward and pleasant with him, and just brushed off his joke (as instructed on here). And I said 'older' man, not old. Older than my age at the time (20).

*what I thought of the man

powershowerforanhour I could have written that exactly.

"I think it is incredibly sexist. The title itself is sexist... What would the reaction be if a thread was entitled 'Why do women always cry'"

Bad comparison. The OP didn't say "why do all men do this?" She said "[i] hate it when men do this".

Can you see he difference? One suggests that every single man does something. The other suggests that it's generally only men who do a particular thing. In this case the OP is correct.