Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate it when men 'joke' like this.

647 replies

KindergartenKop · 17/09/2016 19:29

Maybe it's not always men but I've never experienced a woman who has done this.

So today I took DS1 to a charity shop. He picked two books at 50p each. I gave Ds a pound coin. The man at the till took the books and said, 'That's four pounds please'. Ds looked worried and the man said 'Only joking, it's one pound'. We paid and left.
I've had people say this sort of thing to me so often and it always beffuddles me and makes me feel stupid. Am I the only person who attracts this form of idiocy? Aibu to be pissed off that this man worried my son? It's not fucking funny!

OP posts:
GunnyHighway · 19/09/2016 22:33

FullTimeYummy funniest thing I've read on MN for ages.

m0therofdragons · 19/09/2016 22:42

I hate this. The mechanic we go to is fab but he sometimes has a guy helping on the front desk who is a twat. We'd had lots of work done on our old car over a year due to its age and something else went. I took the car in and twat said "oooh that'll be pricey for sure. Over £700 for that" I was shocked as I was expecting £200 max. I spent all day panicking and close to tears as we also has unexpected house expense and a family death along with dd needing brain scans. Overall it was a stressful time. Then I went to collect it and mechanic was serving. It was £175 and twat was laughing saying he "really had me earlier!" I snapped and had a go at him. Not funny in the slightest and he was shocked by my reaction as I don't think he'd been pulled up on it before.

Allofaflumble · 19/09/2016 23:02

When I was a kid I can remember various relatives saying that I was going to be staying with them from now on in a jokey kind of way. Trouble is I didn't understand it was a joke. I used to feel very anxious that my mother was going to leave me with them!

user1471517900 · 19/09/2016 23:17

Fulltimeyummy - that was brilliant.

CoolDadZL · 20/09/2016 00:05

YABU......jokes are at the expense of someone or something......that's why they're funny.....very light humour directed at your child.....be careful they don't grow as stiff's or they'll be crying every day as they grow up.....better to laugh than cry & moan......and you think this warrants online exclamation of your dismay???? Get over it.....you probably let road-rage spoil your day.....I'd advise my DD's to say....'haha, you're funny, here's 50p, now p-off & get your hand in your pocket so the charity doesn't miss out'!!!

CoolDadZL · 20/09/2016 00:15

I'd also advise DD's that 'life' is full of comedians like this.....be smarter, funnier & put them in their place.....it's about parenting your own kids to deal with everyday happenings & 'funny' people & not harping on about such nonities!!!

CoolDadZL · 20/09/2016 00:18

He's teasing you, look, they're 50p, go kick him in the goolies!!!

HeyRobot · 20/09/2016 00:40

At work I've often had to sort out bunches of flowers for people. I love flowers so you'd think I'd enjoy it, but carrying the bouquets back to the office while all the Uncle Hilarious types say 'ooh, you shouldn't have' is unbelievably tedious.

I know they're trying to be funny, and they're not trying to upset anyone, but after hearing it a couple of dozen times it's hard to look amused. A sizeable percentage of the jokers then get all het up
and it's all can't you take a joke, stuck up cow etc.

I find the jokers tend to be a lot more sensitive - they're happy to make fun but if you take the piss back, and say anything as harmless as 'oh, hilarious' it often seems to touch a nerve. Much like the catcallers who don't like hearing that their chat is rubbish and get abusive.

CoolDadZL · 20/09/2016 01:44

He was probably doing community service in that charity shop!

What kind of dumb-ass comment is that......that's just assumptive & prejudice slander......suggesting people do charity work against their will rather than kind-hearted volunteering!!

CoolDadZL · 20/09/2016 01:50

Stop sorting bunches of flowers if you can't handle the blatantly obvious teases that come with such a thing......why do people take things so seriously & personally.....move on....,or actually give them a bunch in recognition of their wit!!
People who can't laugh at themselves shouldn't be laughing at others......a valuable lesson for everyone's kids......don't give it if you can't take it......I love giving it to those people!!!

chinlo · 20/09/2016 02:35

they're happy to make fun but if you take the piss back, and say anything as harmless as 'oh, hilarious

The thing is, they don't know that you've heard that comment a bunch of times already. So they're just making a joke. They're not taking the piss out of you at all. And saying "Oh, hilarious" is not taking piss back, it's just being sarcastic and rude.

Lweji · 20/09/2016 02:42

CoolDadZL

Are...you...Stevie...from...Malcolm...in...the...middle?
Did...you...miss...the...lesson...on...stop...signs...?

malificent7 · 20/09/2016 05:53

Surely one of the greatest joys of having kids around is to wind them up??? !!

Pagwatch · 20/09/2016 06:05

When I take my son shopping we have to work quite hard because his SN means he gets really easily confused.
People making lame jokes is something one encounters. Shockingly, working in a shop I find customers do it too.

I've found trying to teach my children a little perspective and resilience goes along way. They also now manage going out in the rain without melting. I think they may become functioning adults. It's so much easier than assuring them that every bump in the road is damaging and that if something goes wrong then emotional scarring is inevitable. That becomes quite time consuming as this thread evidences.

WeatherwaxOrOgg · 20/09/2016 06:18

FanyUcker - the OP wasn't sexist because wait for it - drum roll MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT! There, I said it. And fwiw women DO cry more than men.

Anyway OP, I totally agree with you like the majority that this type of joking is absolutely not only unfunny but also potentially stressful to children AND adults.

My daughter used to particularly ask me not to visit a certain family 'because Steve will say something embarrassing'. I've seen this happen to all of my children at various stages and it can cause huge anxiety. What annoys me the most is my pathetic reaction where I laugh along while trying to jolly my child out of their mortification because I don't want to make the 'joker' feel bad.

I fully accept that women do this too but in my experience, every single protagonist has been male - and over 20 odd years of parenting I've encountered many, many of these wannabe stand-up comedians.

YADNBU!

NavyandWhite · 20/09/2016 06:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Overshoulderbolderholder · 20/09/2016 07:29

Goodness this all seems a bit precious ... If the parents are jokey the child learns how to take a joke, if the parents protest and are constantly affronted that will be passed on too.. Lighten up for goodness sake .. A large proportion of men use humour to communicate with each other and the world around them and yes some women too.. Teasing is part of life and most often not meant to offend., so given that, is it better to show your child to brush it off with a smile and a big eye roll or teach them that the world is out to bully them?., btw I do understand the added challenge of these situations with SN children and adults.

limitedperiodonly · 20/09/2016 07:53

I know they're trying to be funny, and they're not trying to upset anyone, but after hearing it a couple of dozen times it's hard to look amused.

What a hellish experience. I hope these thoughtless people don't drive you from your dream career in flower delivery.

I once met two police officers called Sgt Regan and PC Carter. They were okay about it when I made a Sweeney reference but policemen are so stoic it's hard to tell if secretly they wanted to push me down the steps on the way to the cells. I bet they were put together by a senior officer with a puerile sense of humour.

MerchantofVenice · 20/09/2016 08:12

I think there's a difference between being upset about it and just finding it unutterably tedious. I don't think I'd get het up about the man's 'joke' but I agree with all the people who find it annoying because of its monumental lack of any humour. Think it's perfectly reasonable to point out that kids won't get this 'joke' either.

We're all different though. Some people do attempt to use humour all the time to oil the wheels of social interaction, and often it's lame. I don't fill with rage towards the perpetrators, but I do find it... tiresome. It's a bit like the people who are constantly looking for huge visible reactions when in normal conversation; they'll tell you something fairly dull, and then raise an eyebrow expectantly, as if they've just revealed some scurrilous gossip, and you are expected to gasp or faint or something. I'm just not up to that sort of conversation.

Lweji · 20/09/2016 08:23

I often do this sort of joke with colleagues, particularly at lunch when they ask if they can sit at a group table. I'm the sort that will say no (with an exaggerated expression), and then of course. (I understand some might find it funny, but I'm not going to say they are humourless -I'm not that kind of prat).

But I don't see a point or where the joke is in saying the wrong amount to a child at a cashiers.
Wouldn't upset me, but agree with the OP.

HeyRobot · 20/09/2016 08:25

Ha! No, I can definitely 'handle' it. It doesn't upset me and I know it's not a joke at my expense. It's just a bit boring. The conversation actually went like this:

Great wit: Ooh you shouldn't have!
Robot: You're a bit late, 10 people already beat you to that one.
Great wit: It's just a joke, love. Stuck up cow.

What's rude about giving a bit back? I work in a 'tartan paint' industry and there is lots of banter back and forth. It's hard work and if we didn't joke around to let off steam it would be miserable. If someone makes a crap joke they expect to hear 'careful with that joke, it's an antique' etc.

My point was that quite a lot of the supposed jokers aren't really able to take a joke. And people always assume that if you don't find something funny it's because you're upset and can't handle it, when most of the time you're just mildly bored.

Pagwatch customers are the worst for it! Working in the first coffee shop that opened in my town when I was a teenager basically every older man would give me a round of 'how much? I only want coffee, not the whole bloody shop' every single time they came in.

Galdos · 20/09/2016 08:28

It's happened to me a few times, and although I have a fairly broad sense of humour, I've never seen this as being funny because as MerchantofVenice says, it is 'a monumental lack of any humour.'

Does anyone recall the craze many years ago for slapping people unexpectedly, inspired by the silly adverts for an orange fizzy drink (Tango) advertised by some poor actor sneaking up on people drinking the stuff, and slapping them with orange rubber gloves, the voiceover being 'she's been Tangoed!'

That was monumentally unfunny too.

That said, there is a rich vein of humour based on other people's discomfort. Progs like 'Are You Being Framed' were built on that.

FullTimeYummy · 20/09/2016 08:29

Agree with the previous two posts, but in the OP, the issue of repetitivity is irrelevant.

The child was fours years old, so the chances they'd experienced the old wrong price routine frequently enough to find it tedious are negligible.

FullTimeYummy · 20/09/2016 08:31

Sorry, I was agreeing with merchant and lweji

Gottagetmoving · 20/09/2016 08:39

So the 'joke' is not that funny. Its not harmful either.
The man was teasing.
If you can't cope with something as trivial as that then god help you having to deal with something really bad.
If you expect that your child can reach adulthood without having to deal with a bit of confusion or upset you are living in a dream world.