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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate it when men 'joke' like this.

647 replies

KindergartenKop · 17/09/2016 19:29

Maybe it's not always men but I've never experienced a woman who has done this.

So today I took DS1 to a charity shop. He picked two books at 50p each. I gave Ds a pound coin. The man at the till took the books and said, 'That's four pounds please'. Ds looked worried and the man said 'Only joking, it's one pound'. We paid and left.
I've had people say this sort of thing to me so often and it always beffuddles me and makes me feel stupid. Am I the only person who attracts this form of idiocy? Aibu to be pissed off that this man worried my son? It's not fucking funny!

OP posts:
chinlo · 19/09/2016 18:21

It's not particularly funny but it's clearly somebody TRYING to be funny, so yes, YABU and so is everyone else in this thread getting so upset over such a minor thing. Some of you really need to relax.

CasanovaFrankenstein · 19/09/2016 18:27

I can't bring myself to read 17 pages sorry if this is repeating other posts: he probably just misjudged what was appropriate as a joke with a four year old as people do when they are out of touch with young children. It's a tedious and unfunny joke - it's not like saying it's eleventy billion pounds or anything that's obviously a joke. It's a crap joke to make to a child because if you try and explain why it's supposed to be funny to a child -
"Why did he say it was £4?"
"He wanted you to think you'd got it wrong."
"Why?"
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

Hellochicken · 19/09/2016 18:33

YABU, even though I don't like it, as I am a bit slow at realising people are joking
It is useful for your 4yr old to have practice/come across this though IME because I come across this quite a lot, and then not accept everything anyone says.
Personally I think it is nice when people make conversation and being jokey like this is intended friendly.

Carriecakes80 · 19/09/2016 18:38

Omg, I really didn't think people that would get upset over this kind of thing existed! Its happened to my kids (and me) before, and they smile politely, even though its not funny at all, and they shake it off. Its a life lesson in a way, you meet all kinds, some who think they're funny and ain't, some who think they ain't that are funny, and some butt-holes that try to be purposely horrible, and this certainly, in my book, doesn't come under that label!
Whether you're 4 or forty four, its a two second crappy attempt at making someone smile, they might not have kids, they might be lonely and this 'joke' might have been laughed at by someone elses kid (mine would have at least smiled!) so yeah, In my opinion, YAbu. Get a S.O.H and then share it with your kid!

riceuten · 19/09/2016 18:42

I do love "dry" banter. My French isn't brilliant, but is better than my partner's, so we were at a Pharmacie in Paris - I need to reveal my partner suffers from what are euphemistically referred to as "Chalfont St Giles", and I knew enough French to ask for this - "Avez-vous des médicaments pour les hémorroïdes? C'est pour un ami". At this point the man serving me said "Votre "ami" - Est-ce qu'il préfère la crème ou suppositoires?" - whilst using his fingers for "ami" to signify inverted commas - your "supposed" friend - i.e. you. There was no point in protesting so I just gritted my teeth and went along with it.

I know some people who would get very upset with this kind of French male humour, though

ARCmummy · 19/09/2016 18:45

In total agreement, it's the older generation (usually) trying to be funny! They are not! Grrr!

WhatamessIgotinto · 19/09/2016 18:50

Well, I wasn't expecting such a load of old shite when I opened this thread. Grin. I'm honestly gobsmacked that people get so het up over such trivial, inane nonsense like this.

People seem to spend so much time pissed off/offended/raging about nothing, it's mind boggling. I'm quite expecting a 'well you may find it funny to worry a child but I don't blah, blah, blah' but most children are smart enough to understand a silly remark if you explain it to them.

No, this kind of joke isn't particularly 'funny' but FFS it's hardly the crime of the century. I'm sure the OP's son is not scarred for life ...

WhatamessIgotinto · 19/09/2016 18:52

Oh and now it's the older generation - FFS give me strength.

JustBimblingAlong · 19/09/2016 18:59

I very much doubt that the man intentionally meant to upset a 4 year old for heaven's sake! So, you don't find it funny...but then again, we don't all have the same sense of humour or cry at the same things either, do we? I'm not saying it's EVER right to intentionally hurt ANYONE, whether they are 4 or 44, but good grief, he was most likely trying to bring a smile, not tears...the fact that he doesn't understand what a 4 year old is capable of understanding is not the crime of the century. He may have some social issues himself, not understanding others emotions, unable to pick up clues...many, many people are like this. Lighten up...explain to your child that he was joking and move on.

Thingamajiggy · 19/09/2016 19:09

Are you serious?!! Jesus lighten up! A joke is just meant to make someone laugh, to be friendly, to lighten up an otherwise dull moment. If you can't take a silly joke like that, maybe you should just stay inside and not interact with people.

Remember not everyone knows how best to interact with kids, try to take things in the spirit that they were meant! Maybe his less than perfect social skills is why he is working in a charity shop. Perhaps a little more charity on your part..?

Piggy faced offence-takers are the most annoying people you can encounter.

Mycraneisfixed · 19/09/2016 19:19

A totally pointless remark. Cheap laughs at the expense of a child. Pathetic.

PinkyOfPie · 19/09/2016 19:36

YANBU. It's only ever male shop assistants who think they're the next big comedy act. There's one nob in my local Lidl, if I'm cycling and take my helmet in (not wearing it) he does the whole "are you on a bike or is this the latest fashion according to Vogue?". I want to shout "Fuck off you tedious twat!"

AGruffaloCrumble · 19/09/2016 19:37

Purposefully panicking a person will never be funny. I'm sure all the people who have SN and would be affected by stuff like this need to grow a sense of humour too. There's absolutely no humour in this.

PinkyOfPie · 19/09/2016 19:41

I don't think it's an older generation thing at all!

Although my 83yo grandad is a PITA and I won't go into shops with him any more. He always picks on young female shop assistants and says "Now pet, I'm just a poor pensioner what discount can you give me? HAHAHA!" Or if they ring it up and say "£3 please" he'll say "3 pence? I can't hear you see" and then throw 3p on the counter grinning like a maniac until they say something Hmm. In Asda FFS. The poor loves always look either terrified or completely unamused.

Thisisnotreallymyname · 19/09/2016 19:43

Think you are over reacting.

PinkyOfPie · 19/09/2016 19:44

Purposefully panicking a person will never be funny.

This, 100 times over, people who do are pathetic bullies

toopeoply · 19/09/2016 19:47

Nope, my partner does this sometimes. I think its humiliating and really only funny for the 'joke' teller.

keels31 · 19/09/2016 19:49

I personally don't like it.
We recently took our car on a ferry and it was searched going and coming back.
Going out was fine but coming back the security bloke that was part of the search team said to my son who was 9 and had had a bag of pick a mix sweets, that they were searching for sweets on board our car.
Well my son went white thinking he was in trouble!
I sat there not knowing what to do as I knew he was joking but my son was visibly upset.
My son can deal with adults teasing him usually and responds in a good nature but I think because this was an official person he was slightly taken a back.
He recovered fairly quickly after they had a chat about the holiday we had had.
And I explained that he was only joking and trying to make light of the car being searched!
They obviously found nothing, well apart from the sweetsGrin

JellyBelli · 19/09/2016 19:50

Piggy faced offence-takers are the most annoying people you can encounter.

What a nasty comment.

chinlo · 19/09/2016 19:51

This, 100 times over, people who do are pathetic bullies

Except nobody who does this is "purposefully panicking a person".

piggypoo · 19/09/2016 19:54

It happened to me on the bus the other day, I asked how much is was to our destination, the driver wittily replied "95 quid each", It was funny, the DD and DS laughed, people try to have a laugh to break up their day, don't worry about it! :)

Ego147 · 19/09/2016 19:56

I asked how much is was to our destination, the driver wittily replied "95 quid each

See - when I ask someone the price, I am one of those strange people who expect the actual answer.

Call me weird for expecting that.

ScepticalAnnie89 · 19/09/2016 19:56

I'm new to mumsnet and opened this post out of curiosity. I wish I hadn't bothered. What a load of drivel. Ok, so the shop asst was maybe a little inappropriate but seriously, you bothered to post this?!! Life is a series of negotiations, disappointments, up times, down times, joy times etc. If a mother is going to molly-coddle her child to this extent, then goodness help us all because the next generation will be a load of drips who can't handle the teensiest bit of perceived "hardship". Absurd. Ludicrous. Pathetic

ScepticalAnnie89 · 19/09/2016 19:57

I'm new to mumsnet and opened this post out of curiosity. I wish I hadn't bothered. What a load of drivel. Ok, so the shop asst was maybe a little inappropriate but seriously, you bothered to post this?!! Life is a series of negotiations, disappointments, up times, down times, joy times etc. If a mother is going to molly-coddle her child to this extent, then goodness help us all because the next generation will be a load of drips who can't handle the teensiest bit of perceived "hardship". Absurd. Ludicrous. Pathetic

AGruffaloCrumble · 19/09/2016 19:58

Except nobody who does this is "purposefully panicking a person".

What else are they trying to do? What is the joke? I know lots of people, myself included, that would be panicked in that situation.