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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disgusted at cancer research adverts?

143 replies

Gracey1231 · 17/09/2016 01:36

Okay so my amazing father passed away January 2015, he had NHL in the lung stage 2, and after being told his chemo had really shrunk the tumour, it wrapped itself around his pulmonary artery and he had a pulmonary haemorrhage in outpatients on the way for his 2nd chemo

The adverts are really getting to me, where it shows the patients. All I can think of is poor families who have lost someone that day or been diagnosed coming home turning on the TV and seeing it. I know they need to raise awareness, but I feel like this is emotional blackmail and unfair to people.

I know it sounds vile, but AIBU?

OP posts:
celeryeater · 17/09/2016 01:42

YANBU I hate them too. I lost my mum to cancer in 2006 and definitely don't need to be told or reminded of how horrific cancer can be. There must be a better way of advertising the charity, talking about what they have achieved over the years, higher rates of survival etc might be better.

EsmesBees · 17/09/2016 01:51

Yep they are awful. I've just lost my mum to a brain tumour. I hate being reminded of the horrible details of the treatment.

LucyBabs · 17/09/2016 01:56

I lost my Mam to ovarian cancer. I don't know the adverts you're talking about but I don't like the sound of them.. Flowers

Sprinklestar · 17/09/2016 02:04

Agree with you and said similar to DH the other night.

AbelMancwitch · 17/09/2016 02:06

I'm constantly turning the sound off as it makes me anxious. I can't think of anyone who hasn't been affected by cancer in some way, so the detailed reminders twice per ad break are awful. There has to be a better way.

Somerville · 17/09/2016 02:09

I don't watch live TV anymore because of them.

But I understand they raise a lot of money so I'm torn on the issue.

But personally they're not good for me or my kids so we record everything and whizz through ads. (DH died of lymphoma.)

Original poster
Gracey1231 · 17/09/2016 02:10

I am so so so glad it isn't me who finds these adverts quite sick. @LucyBabs, I am so sorry to hear about your mams passing Sad Flowers the adverts are very clear and they aren't pleasant at all!

I'm really glad I dont sound unreasonable, I don't really want to be "that person" who says I find the adverts insensitive and sick

OP posts:
Jaytee38 · 17/09/2016 02:14

The one I hated was if the poor woman and her cancer had caused these bumps all over her head. She was young and has sadly died since. But the slogan on the poster was i wish i had breast cancer! I understand the logic but that didnt make it hurt any less about my mum dying from it

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/09/2016 02:24

I think the are insensitive to people who have recently lost someone to the bastard disease, or who is still undergoing treatment for it.

I get the point that they have to try and raise money, but surely everyone knows about cancer by now? There really can't be anyone over the age of 13 who hasn't heard about it, can there?

We have a REALLY fucking annoying ad here in Australia for malignant melanoma - "there's no such thing as a safe tan" - shows a flawless tanned back on a beach, then goes "inside" the skin, to show this hideous black "thing" multiplying and invading the blood stream. Except that malignant melanoma almost always starts with a mole - not a flawless tanned skin. So it preys on the health-anxious, while being unrealistic in its portrayal. The ones that tell you to get your moles checked, and your skin checked especially if you're prone to moles etc are FAR better but lack the shock factor, so aren't used as much.

sleepy16 · 17/09/2016 04:09

Very upsetting for the family and friends of people that have suffered from cancer.
My real hate is when I see things on tv/ social media saying how brave this person was for "fighting cancer" so my mil wasn't brave, my friends 6 year old little boy wasn't brave because they both died from cancer.

kali110 · 17/09/2016 04:13

I think they are very emotive, which maybe helps the cause.
So sorry for your loss, i lost someone only a few years ago.
It's so hard x

Original poster
Gracey1231 · 17/09/2016 11:46

That's what I mean like we all know about cancer as I think we all know someone who has died, I don't actually see why they have to appeal for money anyway!

OP posts:
UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 17/09/2016 11:53

I can't watch them either OP. I rarely watch TV live, esp in the daytime, because the vast majority of the ads are just upsetting.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 17/09/2016 12:01

That's what I mean like we all know about cancer as I think we all know someone who has died, I don't actually see why they have to appeal for money anyway!

So how do you think they should raise money?

I have had cancer 3 times and waiting to see if it has come back again. I have lost my DBro to the disease. I have a family member currently going through treatment as is my friends 8 year old son.

I think the thing is with the adverts is that they touch us because we know what it's like. We have personal experience.

My DH lost his DSis due a car crash in which she was hit by a drunk driver. He used to hate the adverts around that which are on at Christmas.

Should adverts for water aid, save the children etc also be stopped? I also find them distressing.

Somerville · 17/09/2016 12:06

They have to appeal for money to raise funds for research which ultimately results in

  • Preventative measures to stop some people getting some cancers
  • More effective treatments for cancers

Ad's like that tug on heart string and make people donate, which raises a lot of money to stop more people being killed or bereaved by this terrible disease.

I remind myself - and my kids - of that when we come across one suddenly. That its's very sad for us to watch, but ultimately it will result in fewer people feeling sad like we do.

Iamchanging · 17/09/2016 12:07

It's the the "fighting" word that annoys me (probably irrationally I'm happy to admit.) My mum died within 5 months of her brain cancer diagnosis and all the "I fought cancer and won" shite just makes me feel like theres almost an implication that it is a choice to fight / not fight. Hers was terminal - there wasn't anything she could bloody do to fight it.

hedwig2001 · 17/09/2016 12:10

On a similar note, the British Heart Foundation started the add with the "ghost" Dad, appearing to his son at school, just before he is told his Father Is dead, last summer. It was days after my Fil died of a heart attack. I spent much time leaping for the remote control so my husband didn't see it.

Somerville · 17/09/2016 12:14

YY phrasing it as a fight really upsets a lot of people bereaved because of cancer.

My husband died despite 'fighting'. In fact, he'd have lived longer if he'd accepted his terminal diagnosis and not gone along with more chemo to try to buy more time. Though of course he/we didn't know that then.

Mycraneisfixed · 17/09/2016 12:15

Yep I hate them and also mute the sound when that type of advert comes on or go and do something.
I had cancer 15 years ago, DD is coming to the end of her treatment now. Those ads make me angry.

Original poster
Gracey1231 · 17/09/2016 12:17

@Iamchanging, I'm so glad that isn't me, like I see it "told you you'd beat it you're strong" cancer doesn't discriminate

@PigletWasPoohsFriend I'm really sorry to hear that and I hope that it hasn't returned. Flowers I don't think they should be banned, I just don't think they need to be so sick. Same as the British heart foundation one with the ghost dad, every time I see it I think of people who have been affected by cancer going home and seeing that, horrific

OP posts:
OneOfTheGrundys · 17/09/2016 12:17

I hate them. Lost my DF to a brain tumour as a child and have suffered poor mental health, ptsd since. I can't bear them. They certainly don't make me want to give them
money.

And the ghost dad was unspeakable. Mawkish at the very least, exploitative at worst imo.

Original poster
Gracey1231 · 17/09/2016 12:19

@OneOfTheGrundys I feel the same, my mental health is shit because of this and it has impacted my family in such a way that nearly all of us are on medication of some type for a mental health issue. It doesn't make me want to donate, it makes me want to scream

OP posts:
PNGirl · 17/09/2016 12:19

I don't like them. Last year I got back into the house following the funeral of a friend who had died of cancer. Knock on the door and it was the chuggers for cancer research! They asked me if cancer had touched my life, with me still there in my black dress, I burst into tears and they were very apologetic.

ayeokthen · 17/09/2016 12:22

Completely agree! My mum is recovering from cervical cancer, and the day she was in surgery (radical surgery with lots of risks) I had held it together all day until I saw one of those sodding adverts. I completely melted down and couldn't function for a good hour or two.

WhatIfWhatIf · 17/09/2016 12:22

Yep, they're awful.

I remember getting something through the post from them suggesting I 'laugh in the face of cancer'.

A close family member was in the final stages of cancer at the time, she died about a week later. She was 40 and left behind her husband and young child. We were not laughing. I just could not believe how insensitive it was.