To be disgusted at cancer research adverts?

[Gracey1231]

Okay so my amazing father passed away January 2015, he had NHL in the lung stage 2, and after being told his chemo had really shrunk the tumour, it wrapped itself around his pulmonary artery and he had a pulmonary haemorrhage in outpatients on the way for his 2nd chemo

The adverts are really getting to me, where it shows the patients. All I can think of is poor families who have lost someone that day or been diagnosed coming home turning on the TV and seeing it. I know they need to raise awareness, but I feel like this is emotional blackmail and unfair to people.

I know it sounds vile, but AIBU?

I don't know what really bothers me about them. I think they are overly fabricated but I don't think showing real life cancer would be something I'd want during an ad break either. I particularly struggle with the one that shows cancer as a cartoon world and then some material drops on them and they burst and die and the guy in the research lab says "take that cancer". Like it's that easy instead of painfully unbearably painful and disgusting and sad... but do I want the reminder of the reality I also know well, no.

Especially since, as expat pointed out, so very little of the funds raised goes to paediatric cancer. That's almost false advertising, eh?

(((hugs))) Zombie - must be fucking rough for you to see as well :(

I'm split TBH.

On one hand, I have seen both of my parents suffer from this vicious disease, and held each of their hands as they died. DF 13 years ago & DM just under 4 years ago.

The adverts do make my cry sometimes, I don't enjoy seeing them at all.

But on the other hand, if the existence of these adverts makes people donate to Cancer Research, and thereby improve treatments and prognosis for others - then I can cope with them. TV adverts are expensive. I sincerely hope that Cancer Research make more money from these things than they spend on them.

4% on paediatric cancers? Good heavens, Expat, that is awful.

I wonder how on earth people justify that? It's baffling & well, cruel, for want of a better word!

Zombie for you. DM used to hate, hate, hate these adverts too.

Zombie my heart goes out to you so deeply. (Hugs) and

Also, whilst we seem to have a poster on this thread who works for CRUK, may I also add that the "advertising" line "Cancer, we're coming to get you" is really upsetting & offensive to me.

As somebody with a strong family history of cancer - mum & dad both died before retirement, mum's mum, aunt, grandma, female cousins (she had no siblings) so on and so on all died from cancer at young ages - I hear that and think "well, yes, you're probably right. Thanks for reminding me!"

I wonder whether adverts/slogans such as these are run past focus groups of patients, families etc. before being released?

This photo is from CRUK and shows cancer incidence rates by age.

As you can see, cancer is still comparatively rare in children, as opposed to older people and that explains how CRUK funding is allocated.

Having been fortunate enough to work with Paediatric Oncology Research teams, I've seen how important CRUK's funding is to their work and the research that is happening every day as a result of it.

Expat I am so sorry for your loss, but 4% of millions is not insignificant and it is helping children and families every day.

Its shock tactics. There are other illnesses, some awful, but its mainly cancer charities use this kind of emotional manipulation. They always justify it.

@Mhoys there is other illnesses, some completely progressive. I just don't see why they have to take these low blows

I am also unhappy with the current shock adverts for Cancer Charities.
I would even say that they have made it less likely that I would donate to a Cancer Charity. I lost a close relative to Cancer and I made a substantial donation to the Hospice and Cancer Research after death. Then for a few years made a donation every year to Cancer Research. Some "fundraiser" for Cancer Research called at my house (after 8 in the evening) and I explained about the donations and the yearly donation I set up. This person
kept trying to get more money from me. I had said that I thought I was doing well enough as it was. I ended up saying that I could not continue the conversation and shut the door. I then cancelled the yearly donation.
Although I have some relatives who had cancer I have more relatives who died of heart attacks and strokes. They have a charity shop near where I live and I handed in car loads of stuff several times. They then asked me for my name address and NI number to reclaim tax on the goods I donated. I replied that as I don't pay tax this would not work. I was told they could claim back tax I did not pay! Very strange. I have stopped donating there too. I thought that would be borderline theft or something.
I think Charities need to be very careful not to put off people who donate and they really should not be pushy or greedily trying to claim back tax which was not paid in the first place.

Chest Heart and Stroke have a Charity shop near me. That is what I should have written

I agree,they are awful and make me feel dreadful when I see them.

Keep on being patronising, Pontipines. I'll keep my money from CRUK. It's only rare when it doesn't happen to you.

I've complained to the Charity itself. And to ASA (Advertising Standards Authority). I still think the charity and its amoral 'marketing' or 'fundraising' department. knew full well what it was doing when it employed these odious shock tactics. In their small minds a case of the means justifying the ends. It doesn't actually.

They always justify it.

They do. 'Sorry for your loss . . . ' 'It's mostly in older people . . . ' (when so many of their ads feature children and young people). Believe me, it's old new among parent paed onco groups, some of whom have been their heads against CRUK brick wall for years.

Turn the station and don't give them your money if it's paed cancers you care about.

@expatinscotland

Yeah it's rare when it doesn't happen to someone they know I agree with you so much!!! The first thing our lymphoma nurse said to us was that they had never seen this haemorrhage in lymphoma before and they had no idea why it didn't show on Xray or scan that the tumour had fused itself to the pulmonary artery

Why haven't they got equipment that can show that? At least then we'd have been prepared my fucking mother seen her husband bleed out in about 15 seconds, so if we feel this bad, Christ knows how you feel about your little girl. CRUK don't give a shit that's the only reason, funny how lung cancer is one of the most deadly, yet there is no screening process.

Is the "didn't fight hard enough" narrative perpetuated on Mumsnet?

I have lost my father (20 ys ago), brother (6 months ago) and nearly lost my DH (3 ys ago) to cancer and at no point had I ever detected any blame being placed on the cancer sufferer for not fighting hard enough. I was always offered condolences and support, not judgement over the person who died. It has always been that the person succumbed to the disease because the treatment is so awful and the person is already weak (esp. My brother)

Maybe I was so wrapped up in my grief that it passed me by at 100,000 feet, but I hear this narrative on MN all the time and nowhere else.

I'm so glad we don't have a TV, I know it would rip me to shreds from what I've read here. I'm not even over my father's death, let alone my brother's.

@Mhoys, I'm thinking of complaining tbh. A poster said on here it isn't screened on days like Christmas Day, funny because it came on on Christmas Eve last year

I hate them too.

My teens who lost their father to cancer hates them as well. He had NHL too.

This subject often comes up when I'm working in the chemo unit, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't find them deeply upsetting. Mostly the language they often use in the ads.

@daisychain101 I'm sorry for your loss darling not having a tv is the best thing. I hope that one day you too come to terms with your horrific loss x

YANBU Gracey. I completely concur.

Am also fed up of the language surrounding cancer as well; all this talk of battles and fights. Where did all that come from?.

@U2HasTheEdge
I think that it does affect a lot of people who have been destroyed by cancer, but unfortunately they simply do not care. I'm gonna try and complain later after my tea and I will let you know how far I get. (Probably not very lol)

@AttilaTheMeerkat
Yeah I don't get it, we never used such words when my dad was diagnosed, we just said we'll get you fixed.
I've always took it as if you die it's like you should've fought harder you weren't strong at all. I hate seeing all the stuff about it tbh it drives me insaaaane

I have complained. I have two tumours and although I can't shield my children I can try and prevent them from being frightened.... And actually it frightens me.

Thank you Gracey ❤️ Your thread has been very thought-provoking. Even though I don't have a TV, what you've said (and others too) resonates. These big charities have unfortunately become big marketing machines, and are sacrificing the human touch at the expense of gaining more funds.

The end doesnt justify the means.

And 'rare' has nothing to do with anything does it. One life lost to cancer is a life too many (we are all someone's mother, daughter, wife, friend etc.)