to ask what's the popular Mumsnet advice you think is bollocks? [edit: lighthearted added at OP's request]

[CoolToned]

Game.

Billysykesdog it can get quite nasty. I once stupidly asked for advice on the relationships board about dealing with the strains of having a briefly unemployed DP, and was told I was a silly girl with low self esteem for settling for the cocklodger who was just after a meal ticket.
Then got accused of being defensive when I pointed out the double standards.
Helpful.

Agree Can The thing is if people have no suggestions on how to help there is no point saying should have or I would have. Then worst of all are the statistics say this or that advisors.
As I pointed out on a thread a couple of months ago, we're all vulnerable and we can all lose our jobs, if you cannot find another job quickly and exhaust your savings you become a statistic yourself. Firstly by being unemployed and secondly by being a benefits claimant.
Never know what's around the corner.

The worst (albeit well meaning) advice ever is 'this too shall pass'. I don't want to wait for it to pass. I want it to stop NOW!

"You've only had a snapshot of their lives perhaps (insert implausible and/or tragic event here) has just happened."

Usually in the face of some outrageously bad/selfish behaviour.

It seems it's de rigeur to hold one's nose (and clearly a good deal of ignorance about the reality of domestic abuse) when talking about the Relationships board, but I know I have seen far more really helpful and supportive and very realistic advice (such as putting money aside in an account an abuser can't lay his hands on) than people might assume they would find there from a glance at this thread.

I don't dispute that it's sensible advice math. Where I probably differ is disagreeing that there are never circumstances where it is also appropriate for some men to keep a similar amount of money aside for themselves in the same circumstances.

The possible problem with always comparing advice to men and advice to women is that far more women are likely to find themselves literally with no means of support if they can find a way to leave an abusive situation. Mostly it is women who post on Relationships. Many women who post on Relationships describe partners who control the finances.

Saying women are told XYZ but men are told ABC is a bit of a straw man really, when the overwhelming majority of posters on Relationships are women, in dire need.

I have seen very few men posting in the sort of situation most women post about - afraid to make a start on getting out because they will be homeless, penniless, and unable to provide for their children. I have never seen an instance where advice to a man in the same circumstances to keep a fund for his own escape has been given or where such advice has been shot down. Mind you I do not read every single thread on Relationships, but I doubt anyone does that.

'has not been given...'

I'm not talking just about posts in relationships only. But life as a whole. I know Mylene Klass husband was independently solvent although less so than her, but was pilloried for having a base to go to after they split because apparently that was an unacceptable secret.

Aero having separate accounts us much better for you, in your situation but not everyone. I gave a joint account and my finances aren't scrutinised and it works for us. I don't believe they work for everyone but you can't say your way of doing it is the better!

Each to their own nerrnerr I am a bit of a spender and I prefer that freedom. Double standards, if a man is ill, he has man flu and should get on with it, if a woman is ill, they have to be looked after by their man.

Oh there is one of those man flu threads going at the mo.

Life as a whole isn't what the thread was about.

What is a "man flu" thread?

It's when a man has a light cold and retreats to bed and does fuck all.

While women with 40oC fever are still expected to clean the house, feed the family and sort out all issues. Plus take care of the male with the flu.

No one married to a nurse is permitted manflu. Nor should they go to hospital with a bag of paperbacks and no clean underwear

Was that the Campylobacter? stalker

This is a specific example but it has stayed with me since reading it! One poster gave the advice to op "why don't you go out and earn ten time's what your husband does? That's what I did!" Which is obviously a nice idea but usually unachievable. The poster was just so blasé about it as if op could just pop into her local shop and ask for 100k a year!

Leave the bastard, get a job, find childcare, start a whole new life, tell your GP this is what you're doing(like they'll fix anything), yes ok it's a teeny bit scary, but we'd do it in a heartbeat if we weren't rich and happy. Simples

Quite often it's people who have LTB. They know it's not easy.

Regardless, what is downright wrong and dangerous it's to tell someone who is being physically abused, or at risk, to kick him out. As if...

Lweji Too true, I had to grab dd and run to my car as fast as I could.

Lweji: no, the appendicitis. Also you're supposed to take a taxi, not guddle down the back of the sofa for bus fare and walk the last half mile. Not the worst bollocking of our marriage, but there was Pursing of the Lips and Tapping of the Feets.

People actually request no visitors for two weeks after a baby is born????
Jesus. If/when I have a baby I will WANT people especially DM there. If DH spent most of the day working, I'd want adult company, even if they just held the baby while I went to the loo or whatever else. I bet my DM will want to come round and denying her visiting rights to her own grandchild sounds horrible IMO.

If/when I have a baby I will WANT people especially DM there

Except for if/when you have a baby you might not. You can only guess that you might.

It was actually 2 weeks after the birth that I most needed people around as my dp went back to work then.

But I did have my immediate family there immediately - my mum was there at the birth.