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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to never go on family holiday again?

312 replies

MamaDuckling · 13/09/2016 21:51

Loooong story but I'll try to keep it brief.

My family and I (10 in total, all adults except our two young DC) have for a long time done an annual villa holiday. This year I suggested that DH, DC and I would get a separate villa close to theirs as our DS is a very noisy early riser, and DD doesn't sleep through yet. My family LOVE to lie in and I foresaw problems with the kids spoiling everyone's rest. This suggestion was quickly dismissed, they all insisted they wanted us all to be together and of course understood that two young kids come with some noise.....

Fast forward and we are 4 days in, we have today been relegated to the crappy room on the ground floor (all of us, despite there being a more suitable separate room for 2yr old DS upstairs), because the noise is too much. We have done everything we can to keep him quiet but he's up at 6am and my family don't typically want to wake up until at least 10am (lazy arses IMO but I respect that we are all different).

It all came to a head this morning and I fell out with DB over it (himself expecting his first DC, ha!). He suggested we all decant into this one room. I have DD in travel cot next to me, DS on a mattress at the end of the bed, and snoring DH by my side. I am simply fucked off beyond belief.

WIBU to never do a stupid family holiday ever again based on our experience this time? I now just feel like we are a nuisance to everyone and wish we hadn't come at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaDuckling · 15/09/2016 17:27

Random we, I admit that was my hope and is absolutely what I'd have proposed had the children been my nephew and niece....

There are 7 other adults here and not one has offered to help us early in the morning. I know some will say 'why should they', and the reason is because we are normally a very close family and we normally all help each other out on lots of stuff. It seems the sacred holiday lie-in is the one thing none of them will flex on. I assumed that DH and I might get a lie-in, even just once or twice.

Only DM who comes down for a cuppa around 8.30am and then goes back to bed, she's offered to babysit if DH and I want to go out for breakfast - but I just don't fancy taking her up on it now.

OP posts:
JacquettaWoodville · 15/09/2016 17:47

You could tell the time when you were two, prole?

randomer · 15/09/2016 17:48

sorry nightmare. How nasty and rude...maybe a bit personal but are you guys having a few drinks? Hence the obsession with sleeping?

Your best bet is to go it alone with your little family

randomer · 15/09/2016 17:49

re telling the time.....we had a clock with a picture and when the man was kicking the ball it was ok to get up. Still some ungodly hour though

SolomanDaisy · 15/09/2016 17:51

Hahaha prole. Many people have flashes of memory from when they were two. They are not able to accurately recall the time they were allowed to get up. And even if you weren't just saying this stuff, any parents who left a two year old awake alone until ten am would be negligent, rather than something to emulate.

purplefizz26 · 15/09/2016 18:02

If you can afford to, I would pack up your stuff and move to a nice hotel with breakfast included and fuck them off! Don't tell them either, just disappearance leave a note.

Can get up early, all get dressed without worrying about being loud and go down to a nice cooked breakfast then go for fun days out without wasting half the day waiting for everyone else in to get out of their pits.

oblada · 15/09/2016 18:39

Seriously prole you're ridiculous! At 2 you can't tell the time and anyway I'm sure you're aware our memories are far from being reliable. They are mostly mental construct. You may have stayed quiet once in the morning for 'ages' (20mins) and you remember that as being 'all the time' and for 'hours'...my first one is an early riser, you can't just control this, and it would be irresponsible to leave a 2yrs old (and sometimes a 5yrs old) without supervision for 3-4hrs (can't imagine any kid staying in their room for that time unless there is a massive back story to this). I can definitely keep my 5yrs old quiet enough nowadays but with 2 of them it would be hard work. My 2yrs old is a sleeper tho :) and also I'm personnally happy to get up at 7-8am on week-ends, never later so I wouldn't change my routine (and that of my kids) for a holiday (older one wakes up and 6-7am nowadays - good thing is when we go to France it tends to be one hr later due to timezone which helps with late dinners and for the mornings).

Snowfedup · 15/09/2016 18:42

In the same way we send toddlers to the naughty step a can we send Inlove to Nethuns -permanently- I have a feeling with that user name she would fit in better there ?

JassyRadlett · 15/09/2016 19:38

yes at 2. I remember being 2 - moved to a big city but retained my tricycle so all was well. The cat gave birth in my room and the wallpaper was stripey...

Well, if that's true, and you were left unsupervised to play in silence for hours (until 10, often) aged 2 then that sounds rather close to neglect to me.

JacquettaWoodville · 15/09/2016 21:05

I think I remember it snowing when I was two. And my friend having a yellow dress.

That's all I got, and even then, I couldn't swear I was two rather than three, say!

Original poster
MamaDuckling · 16/09/2016 01:01

HELL UPDATE:

So today, the adult contingent took a lovely 8 hour boat trip, were cooked for onboard and generally had a lovely relaxing time. Very happy for them all, honestly.

As we were home, and as an olive branch, I prepped numerous salads, meat, potatoes, breads etc for a BBQ.

On their return and after an 'aperitif' I asked my DF to lay the table. His reply? "Honestly, I've had a long day and I've already picked up BBQ coal..."

I'm done. One more night and we're pitta here.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 16/09/2016 02:18

You prepared all that for 7 adults.. You fathers thanks was a total refusal to help. Did anyone else help? Did no one thank you?!! Did they need dropping off for this boat trip?

Are they very much - oh well duckling and DH are young, they can do d y and z to look after us?

The nicer you are to people, who shit on you, the more they shit on you.

Topseyt · 16/09/2016 02:23

Stop trying to please them. That way lies madness as they are showing their true colours now.

Original poster
MamaDuckling · 16/09/2016 05:25

Oh god and we've been broken into!

Worst. Holiday. Ever

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 16/09/2016 05:33

Oh no. When? While you were asleep? That's hideous. If you were asleep, the blessing I would take is that your babies were in the same room as you. Anything of yours stolen?

TwoFs · 16/09/2016 05:38

Jeez Mama I'm so sorry you're having such a shit time. Your family sound like hard work! But your last update - broken into?? Wtf? Hope you're ok?

Original poster
MamaDuckling · 16/09/2016 05:41

Cash, iPad, laptop..... They've left cards and sentimental stuff. Thank god they seem to have only gone for that. I was up until 2am and baby woke at 4, they must have been watching the house Shock

OP posts:
NightCzar · 16/09/2016 05:46

You poor, poor thing. At least you didn't come face to face with them. Are you leaving today?

NightCzar · 16/09/2016 05:50

I wish there was some kind of super hero story where you could tell they had tried to break in but the noise of the kids had scared them off. Or the partying adults had left their stuff out and you hadn't. Sorry for your awful holiday!

JedRambosteen · 16/09/2016 07:09

You are too good for them. If I were you, I would sit down today and write out a side of A4 about what this holiday has been like (or print out this thread) and keep it somewhere you can refer back to it in case they ever try to guilt you into going on holiday with them again. And yes, go home now. You've tried your best. Like someone else said, stop trying to please them.

ohgoodlordthatsmoist · 16/09/2016 07:14

Yanbu and I hope your brothers kid is a non sleeper (I don't usually wish that)
Do not move rooms and suggest they all go to bed earlier!

JacquettaWoodville · 16/09/2016 07:19

So sorry about the break in

Have you been the cook and cleaner on past holidays - think back? This stuff should be shared, I bet it wasn't. And if anyone is cut slack in the sharing, it's someone up at night with a baby.

MrEBear · 16/09/2016 07:41

Oh no! At least they haven't taken sentimental stuff. Insurance should cover it (assuming you are insured) check if you have away from home insurance with the house insurance.

Sorry your family are being lazy gits. Remind yourself never again. And yes ask yourself if you have been treated as skivvy on previous holidays etc.
Hope they all realise that this is the last time. Don't ever let anyone else try to talk you into it again.

DartmoorDoughnut · 16/09/2016 07:48

Oh bloody hell!!

Definitely time to come home you poor things, a holiday to forget - but don't forget and don't do it again!

TerrorAustralis · 16/09/2016 08:07

Duckling you poor thing. You couldn't make this stuff up - it's like a far-fetched movie plot.