WIBU to never go on family holiday again?

[MamaDuckling]

Loooong story but I'll try to keep it brief.

My family and I (10 in total, all adults except our two young DC) have for a long time done an annual villa holiday. This year I suggested that DH, DC and I would get a separate villa close to theirs as our DS is a very noisy early riser, and DD doesn't sleep through yet. My family LOVE to lie in and I foresaw problems with the kids spoiling everyone's rest. This suggestion was quickly dismissed, they all insisted they wanted us all to be together and of course understood that two young kids come with some noise.....

Fast forward and we are 4 days in, we have today been relegated to the crappy room on the ground floor (all of us, despite there being a more suitable separate room for 2yr old DS upstairs), because the noise is too much. We have done everything we can to keep him quiet but he's up at 6am and my family don't typically want to wake up until at least 10am (lazy arses IMO but I respect that we are all different).

It all came to a head this morning and I fell out with DB over it (himself expecting his first DC, ha!). He suggested we all decant into this one room. I have DD in travel cot next to me, DS on a mattress at the end of the bed, and snoring DH by my side. I am simply fucked off beyond belief.

WIBU to never do a stupid family holiday ever again based on our experience this time? I now just feel like we are a nuisance to everyone and wish we hadn't come at all.

I thank my very lucky stars that none of mine were particularly early risers and generally slept well. Yes I did what I could to influence that but that is all it ever is - an influence.

One of my 4 woke a lot during the night around the age of 3 for over a year, she was just awake (didn't need sleep) and it was hideous but at least she just wandered in and when I told it was night time still she put herself back to bed!

Very good point dixie about the naps.

If DS was in his own room upstairs then it might make sense for him to go out with one parent in the morning; both parents are being disturbed by DD in the night so I'm sure they'd like to chill sleepily on the sofa/take turns to sleep in. But poor OP is squeezed 4 people to a room, which can't be helping any of them get at least some undistivrbed sleep.

And she's the "fucking bitch" for this.

I'm a grandma. We had a family holiday last year. We all shared a 4 bed villa. My grandkids (my sons kids were 6 & 2). I gave my son & his wife regular breaks... Usually one of them would get up with whichever kiddy woke up first, I'd hear them, get up and send the adult back to bed... I spent some lovely early mornings with my grandkids, eating brekkie, playing, reading, chatting and just enjoying their company. It also felt good to give my DS & DDIL a much needed break.
I also had mornings where I stayed in bed and they did their best to keep the noise down a bit.... All fair and reasonable, it's about give and take IMO.
Families that holiday together should expect to muck in and support each other...
I hope someone offers to help you out soon...
Maybe suggest it, 'I'll keep the kids out of the way in the morning if you could get up with them the next day' - You must be shattered!

I said no family holidays again after dp and I went away with my mother, ds and bil, and our dd age 2.5 at the time.

Dd was up at 5am every day, and didn't really adjust to the change in routine for the week so was a bit of a grump for the whole time. DM had her one morning whilst we went out for a couple of hours, but otherwise no one offered to look after her at all, dp and I had a meal out together bcos dd fell asleep on the pram so we took her with us.
I know she's our child and no one should HAVE to look after her but maybe on a family holiday it would be nice?!

To be honest, 3 years later, it wasn't that bad and no where near as bad as yours, but I do not think ybu and I also agree with other posters your brother sounds horrible.

I worked bloody hard for years to ensure my kids became considerate of others in relation to noise and it fucks me off when other people don't make a similar effort.

So presumably, when they were very little (oh, much like the OP's) they were a work in progress and it wasn't always successful.

I don't know which I hate more: your sanctimonious 'it's easy, anyone's child can be trained' bollocks or your username.

It's a close call.

Toast. You sound lovely. Can I adopt you?

You family are in the wrong op. I don't agree that you can teach kids to sleep.

DS is a great sleeper - went rough the night at 6 weeks, and now as a 10 year old he lies in longer than we do! But we didn't do anything to train him. This is just how he is. Great at the weekend of course, not so great on a school day.

Nanny I wonder if there's some sort of correlation between the saccharine cutesy-twee username and the obnoxiously smug self-satisfaction evident in the posts?

I'd love a family holiday with everyone being reasonable. I wonder why it's so hard.

My siblings and I have had nice holidays with our various offspring and those of us whose kids are older and sleep in the mornings take a turn to entertain the nieces and nephews who wake at 5am and give their parent a break. It would be even better to have our parents along to share fun days and delicious dinners with, without having to squeeze 4 families into a 3 bedroom house as we do when we visit them. However, our mother is convinced that we are only inviting her and my dad to be the de facto 24hr childcare service and so always refuses. Obviously that's not what we are after but she doesn't believe it.

I agree with the nap thing - for DD4 (2) 10am is middle of the day! Daylight's a wasting

I think whatever you do now OP you can put this firmly in the live and learn dept. Go away with just DCs and DH from now on. Take no more notice of what anyone says or forgets what was said. It is what it is and never needs doing again.

In the meantime - i would go on with your holiday now as if the rest of them aren't there to be honest. Use the early hours to get ready for the day what ever that might be ... and after DD has had her 9am nap then get straight on with it. Get in the pool splash about, or take the car, go out, coming back for lunch or the afternoon nap.

We don't holiday with anyone any more after DH humoured me one year and we had an absolutely awful week in a SC holiday house with my DD and (notD)SM. It makes me grind my teeth just thinking about it & was 7+ years ago.

Lol mummyoflittledragon...
I'm a pretty young Nan so I guess I've got a bit more energy...haha

My DH refused to go on holiday full stop when the DC were little (4 DC the youngest 3 within 3 years) - he said it was the same hard work with the added disadvantage of not knowing the house/what's safe etc.

I think he had a point!

I too am vowing not to go on holiday with family after a week in which no bugger was any help at all and just left me and dh to tag team a 2 yo.

I think they thought they were being helpful by playing with our 6yo but in actual fact we got no rest at all. It was a big shock after previous holidays where they've helped out a lot. I can't really blame them or hold them to account but it comes across as playing favourites, or possibly that mil had the hump about something.

Anyway we aren't going on hol with them again, it's zero fun trying to have a holiday with young DC watching other adults have a normal unencumbered holiday.

Lesson learned. I'd never go in a group holiday without our own transport. Sounds like you managed to coral the minibus. Good on you.

If still insist on moving back into the comfy room. If FB so bothered about the noise he can move rooms.

Can you go home early? Me and dh were about ready to divorce after 2 weeks on holiday with friends then family.

I actually never learn though as I recently agreed to go on holiday AGAIN next summer with the in-laws and extended family.

God help me. Pass the gin.

inlove like anneeliiot my son was also never an early riser . Nothing I did , just him. Sometimes he was late for playgroup as I couldn't get him up. And he went to sleep at 7.30 each night. At 21 he can still sleep for England; as a teenager could be in a deep sleep for at least 12 hours every night esp at weekends and in holidays. I predict your Dc will be asleep most of their teenage years and you will be on MN looking for answers .

I am currently on holiday with the in laws.
Never, ever, ever again. Never. 😱

The only thing that's kept me from fleeing is the three day weekend we have just the three of us when we get back,

Mil had just announced that they will not go home to their city until Sunday so now we have them at our place all weekend too, after we've all flown back to the uk.

I actually had a little cry in the loo when I heard.

Oh god.... I've just turned in for the night, DH already in bed, and the f@ckers have chosen tonight to socialise in the living room right outside our bedroom. Every night until now has been by the pool. Methinks they are making some kind of twisted point. Honestly...........

Good for them! It is their holiday as well!

If they wake up the children make sure you send them in to join them.

Can you have a full and frank discussion tomorrow about how the rest of the holiday is going to work?

flippinada Very good point.

You are so right, Zen. Part of my problem is of course the fact they can even entertain a lie in. Even if we wake them, they can roll over and ignore us.....

You & DH go to one of the other bedrooms to get some sleep!

So encourage your kids to make as much noise as possible at 5am then!