To think the whole pregnancy thing could be altered?

[DerekSprechenZeDick]

This whole pregnancy thing is shit ain't it? Let's be honest

They are made in a fun way (if you are lucky) but then 9 month of just shit.

I think pregnancy should be fun and have perks. Instead I'm stuck in bed due to pelvic pain, a baby who appears to be an athletic octopus and heartburn that makes me want to rip my chest out.

I would like to grow my baby attached to me but be able to unattach should I fancy a piece of shark or a rum.

So I could unstrap the bump, strap it to the dad and I could have a break. The bump would be more like a side car maybe

What would you change about pregnancy?

Nobody has mentioned the exhaustion yet. Oh the exhaustion!!! I'm in my bed at 8pm every night. All the good tv shows on sky start after 9. I'm so tired and my sky planner is full!!!

I'm TTC

I've had one mc and lost two. Can guarantee I will still bitch and moan when/if I fall pregnant.

It's horrible for posters who are struggling to conceive but mn is a safe place for people who want too vent.

Um yes I'm 4 foot 11.5, the dad is 6foot 3

I'm giving birth to a baby taller than me. I sense it

I'm short too, about 5'1 and size 8

Last baby was 8lb6

That won't be hard your medically a midget Derek

Hand the whole damned thing over to Amazon. You'll pick your baby up at the locker next day. And soon it will arrive by drone.

Irelephant actually I'm a few inches off, I've googled that before

I think this baby is so big it's just going to shed me like a snake skin

Oooh Amazon are talking about using drones for deliveries in the future.

Perhaps they could make them look like storks?

I'm 5 foot nowt.
My teenage sister is taller and my 10 year olds catching up fast.

DH is 6 foot odd the bastard

Not too give you nightmares but my youngest sister we over 11lb. Biggest baby bishop hospital had seen (my stepdads extra tall)

I've googled heaviest newborns and I terrified myself.

First born was 6.2lbs so I'm preying for that

She was 40 and on her fourth. You'll be fine you've done it once already.

Umbongo your husband is a giant, good luck

I'm 33 weeks with DC2, and have hated both pregnancies. The hyperemesis first time round, the sheer exhaustion this time of growing a new human and taking care of the small, toddling one I already have
I've always said penguins have got this whole reproduction thing sussed out: Mum lays an egg. Dad sits on the egg. Mum fucks off in search of food until egg hatches. Penguins have nailed "joint effort". Time for humans to catch up!

You should be able to pick your pregnancy symptoms/stage. I quite liked late pregnancy with lots of kicking to distract me in boring work meetings but I hated the low blood pressure making me faint early on. And helpful health care professionals who say "Well at least it's not high blood pressure" - yeah okay that's worse but being at serious risk of delaying every train you take by passing out on the floor is no picnic either.

And your belly button should:
Light up to show you're pregnant
Display a countdown
Be colour coded green/amber/red so you can check everything's OK in there.

Anyone else having images of pregnant women walking through Sea Life centres licking their lips?

I'd like a little hatch to see what the chuffing hell is going on in there. I swear it's like having a belly full of live eels tying themselves in knots.

It would be handy if babies turned up at a reliable time without medical intervention.

SPD was shit. First time it was apparently "pregnancy aches and pains" so I got no help and ended up stuck in the house unless someone could drive me as I couldn't squeeze my bump/ swiss-ball-abdomen behind the steering wheel, and reach the pedals in the final month. With hindsight, that was already affecting me by 18 weeks just as the all-day-nausea was wearing off. Combining SPD with carpal tunnel was super shit. It was fantastic to have a new born baby that let me indulge in 2 hours of sleep at a time after hourly waking to heave over my body that weighed 50% more than usual so that I could activate the dead arm and shake it out through pins and needles ready to repeat the following hour.

SPD needs more recognition, both from medical staff (like the Dr that dismissed it) and speeding up the support process so that you can get practical help before you're full term anyway. Fortunately I'd borrowed crutches weeks before I finally got an appointment for a pelvic support. Without the crutches I couldn't have made it to the clinic. (That was second time when I was more clued up. I'm immeasurably grateful that the carpal tunnel did not make a return).

People's attitudes can suck. "Pregnancy's not a illness" when someone is visibly suffering really doesn't help. And the first trimester when you feel like death before you're showing or want people to know is crap. First time DH was frustratingly slow on the uptake that I didn't magically bloom and bounce back to normal on hitting 12 weeks. I remember the"other people's pregnancies" row at 17 weeks- we rarely row!

Despite all that, I liked the satisfaction of growing some sort of tentacled alien baby thing I managed to do it twice. I'm not sure I can face a third time, although its more the thought of 3 pairs of socks and shoes to put onto small people before leaving the house which is really making me override broodiness!

op how on earth didn't you realise you were pregnant til 28 weeks?! how did you feel when you found out?!

Ok I'm going against the grain here but I loved being pregnant - I felt so well ! ( probably to do with 9 months without periods - endometriosis sufferer here) so I would wish pregnancy to be longer!

Now however I look and feel like a 100 year old woman with a 2 year old!!

DS1 was 8lb 10 and his big nobbly head was stuck in back to back. I'm 5ft 2 and managed to be size 8 with a 43 inch waist! I had a fundus of 45cm and didn't even get to due date. I didn't look pregnant from behind until about 8 months!

His head is still so big and nobbly that he has to wear cardigans to school as the school sweatshirt hurts to yank over his ears, and he doesn't have the force to put one on by himself

scarlett I was ok injection, no bump and no symptoms. No reason to think I'd be pregnant.

Doctors appointment as injection was due. I was couple week late getting it so had to do the usual pregnancy test and up it popped.

I hated the news and didn't want to continue the pregnancy I'll be honest. But I was too far gone so I've been in a state of shock, denial and 'oh my god what the fuck I'm pregnant' for the past 8 week.

Will probably continue to be in such a state Til she's about 16

MrsMook my brother had a similar head. Mum had to cut the head holes in jumpers and tshirts so they'd fit 😂

Wow op that must've been difficult news to accept. Good luck with the everything.

Hope yes to the eel comment. It feels like there's a worm in my bladder right now. It's so gross feeling.

I would change everything about pregnancy! I hate it, but love the end result.
My Dad used to be one of those people who'd say "you're pregnant, not ill!"... until he saw me limp through pregnancy.
I'm only 12 weeks, want to rip my oesophagus out due to heartburn, got stuck on the floor today due to SPD (I will never learn), and nearly fell asleep in the supermarket due to exhaustion. That's not even all of it - just the highlights!
If ever there was proof of the existence of God, and the fact he's male - pregnancy and childbirth would be it! (I'm actually atheist) A woman, or evolution should would have come up with something better.