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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the whole pregnancy thing could be altered?

232 replies

DerekSprechenZeDick · 10/09/2016 14:25

This whole pregnancy thing is shit ain't it? Let's be honest

They are made in a fun way (if you are lucky) but then 9 month of just shit.

I think pregnancy should be fun and have perks. Instead I'm stuck in bed due to pelvic pain, a baby who appears to be an athletic octopus and heartburn that makes me want to rip my chest out.

I would like to grow my baby attached to me but be able to unattach should I fancy a piece of shark or a rum.

So I could unstrap the bump, strap it to the dad and I could have a break. The bump would be more like a side car maybe Grin

What would you change about pregnancy?

OP posts:
KitKats28 · 10/09/2016 16:17

Even people who are desperate to get/stay pregnant can hate it though. It took a long time to get pregnant with my first, and I still hated every minute of it. I wanted a baby, not a pregnancy. It was just a means to an end. No one would want to be the size of a barrage balloon, with ankles bigger than their thighs, heartburn, sickness, insomnia, weeing every thirty seconds and living on toast as it's the only thing you can keep down.

My third pregnancy (having lost the second) was all the above, plus the added terror. I still hated it!

Bigfam · 10/09/2016 16:18

Apparently they don't work after 35 weeks Afreshstartplease or do you mean the test that tells you whether it's a shark or octopus?

Original poster
DerekSprechenZeDick · 10/09/2016 16:22

I wasn't told when they'd work up to. I was just told they were very expensive.

I was nearly 35 week when they did it! Don't say they don't actually work!

OP posts:
Afreshstartplease · 10/09/2016 16:25

Ah no that's a shame!

No I'm quite convinced it's a baby in there luckily!

I'd love to know when I was going to give birth though

PeppaAteMySoul · 10/09/2016 16:27

I'd quite like a fast forward button. 29 weeks here and I'm just so desperate to meet him. November is so far away!
A button to switch off morning sickness and back pain would also be great.

SharkBastard · 10/09/2016 16:29

I hate pregnancy...I'm 8 weeks tomorrow and I'm tired of feeling hungover to fuck without the actual fun of being drunk the night before FOR THE NEXT 3 MONTHS

I've had 2 miscarriages and should be so grateful my body a) falls pregnant and b) has symptoms that indicate that the pregnancy is going OK, but at this moment in time? I'm miserable

Only another 32 fucking long weeks to go

ImYourMama · 10/09/2016 16:30

I would totally opt for a 'fast forward' button, pay in some way in good karma, like giving blood or similar that would allow you to speed up the process. So you do some thing nice/positive and the karma allows you to knock a couple of days-weeks off the total pregnancy

Mybugslife · 10/09/2016 16:30

I wouldn't change anything, yes I'm tired and uncomfortable, I barely sleep because of having to pee every 2 minutes or my hip pain is so bad. I can't walk far or stand for too long. I feel nauseous and have barely any appetite but after loosing 3 babies at different gestations I'm just so glad this baby is okay and I wouldn't change all the ''bad'' bits for the world

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 10/09/2016 16:30

I would invent something that made men feel exactly like we do, temporarily. You could set it to a specific number of weeks and it would give them the full experience - nausea, extra weight, backache, itching...

Original poster
DerekSprechenZeDick · 10/09/2016 16:31

November yes! I'd like the dad to feel this pelvic pain for a short while. Maybe be woken with bad heartburn now and again

OP posts:
Bigfam · 10/09/2016 16:32

"Fetal fibronectin (fFN) is used to test pregnant women who are between 22 weeks and 35 weeks of gestation and are having symptoms of premature labor. The test helps predict the likelihood of premature delivery. Many pregnant women experience symptoms that suggest preterm labor."

Afreshstartplease found online. I vaguely remember them telling me that they're not accurate after 35 weeks, I'll have a look..

UmbongoUnchained · 10/09/2016 16:34

I absolutely hate everything about it and I can't wait till he plops out at Christmas. Never again. If I'm pursuaded to have a third I've told my husband either to shoot me or buy me a surrogate.

Original poster
DerekSprechenZeDick · 10/09/2016 16:36

I'm glad I don't have long to go. I'm also not mentally prepared yet so would like her to wait Til due date at least

Would make me roughly 12 week pregnant mentally 😂

OP posts:
Afreshstartplease · 10/09/2016 16:37

Umbongo I said no more after DC2.....currently 34+3 with DC4

It's amazing how you forget all the shit bits

Amummyatlast · 10/09/2016 16:42

I loved being pregnant. No IBS, no hay fever, a huge appetite, and weekly orgasms in my sleep. Shame I'll probably only have the one go.

I second the need for a baby window and timer.

Chocolatefudgecake100 · 10/09/2016 16:55

MrsRaymondReddington Haha u will change your mind come trimester three which is where i am and demented and hate life basically

Original poster
DerekSprechenZeDick · 10/09/2016 16:58

Choc I'm where you are. Life hating is so true

OP posts:
Chocolatefudgecake100 · 10/09/2016 17:02

Haha honestly ive one week to go and im about to scream who could enjoy this?

UmbongoUnchained · 10/09/2016 17:20

afresh oh no I never forgot the shit bits. This one was a surprise 🙃

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho · 10/09/2016 17:33

I'm joining the "can get pregnant when you want" bench! (No DC here). Very convenient being able to time it etc, and of course the flipside is you can NOT be pregnant when you want too.

Also thread indicates that whatever modifications we make it needs to be uniform across the board so all women can moan about the same things understand each other.

It's also calling to mind the "enjoying being in hospital" thread! Perhaps we could somehow combine the two so despite the pain and discomfort pregnant women are looked after, allowed to sleep etc etc. This is actually realistic but involves the assistance of men so good luck with that...

Scarydinosaurs · 10/09/2016 17:58

Only 18 weeks and I've had a week in hospital, the worst Ulcerative Colitis flare of my life, possibility of my UC now being Crohns (longest wait to see my consultant to clarify this) and constant panic that I'm about to miscarry. With my last DD I had a horrid pregnancy as I was waiting for scans and tests to see if she would be viable, and my first DD I was far too anxious and worried as it was unplanned to enjoy it.

After my last flare, I won't be risking another pregnancy as I don't want to damage my poor long suffering colon. February cannot come quick enough.

UmbongoUnchained · 10/09/2016 18:09

derek you're quite small as well aren't you? I'm 5ft and a size 8 but the baby inside me is about 6ft 3 and likes to lie diagonally across me with his feet in my liver.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho · 10/09/2016 18:20

Umbongo Perhaps we need to add "make sure baby is always proportionate in relation to mother"! That would solve quite a few things.

UmbongoUnchained · 10/09/2016 18:22

My husband is 6ft6 and I think this baby might be taking after him...

Mooey89 · 10/09/2016 18:22

derek so glad to see you back.

Pregnancy was fucking miserable. I can only sleep on my stomach. I think an egg is the way to go. Squeeze it out when it is small and watch it grow from there. Then you can eat all the Brie and drink all the wine watching your egg grow.