To think the whole pregnancy thing could be altered?

[DerekSprechenZeDick]

This whole pregnancy thing is shit ain't it? Let's be honest

They are made in a fun way (if you are lucky) but then 9 month of just shit.

I think pregnancy should be fun and have perks. Instead I'm stuck in bed due to pelvic pain, a baby who appears to be an athletic octopus and heartburn that makes me want to rip my chest out.

I would like to grow my baby attached to me but be able to unattach should I fancy a piece of shark or a rum.

So I could unstrap the bump, strap it to the dad and I could have a break. The bump would be more like a side car maybe

What would you change about pregnancy?

The sickness can definitely gtf. I remember gasping and spewing over and over when expecting DD1 (planned, conceived a week after stopping the combi Pill), thinking, "I've changed my mind - I don't want to be pregnant any more, if this is what it's like." It was horrible.

They should send pregnant women into schools to show teen girls that pregnancy is shite.

Be enough for them to join a nunnery

Derek I wasn't aware of my second pregnancy til 2 weeks before he was born. I think i'm still in a state of shock 11 years later haha

I always felt that some sort of zip arrangement for getting the damn thing out would be more civilized.

Currently pg with dc#3 who kindly blocked off my bladder so I couldn't pee. Ended up with a catheter and bag 😏 All ok now, but would definitely change that bit!

My husband is 6'2" and this baby is apparently measuring 42 weeks at 35 actual weeks :(

Yet he says I am grumpy...hahahaaa

You are giving birth to a grown man aren't you?

The last one was 10lb. My horror increases every time the MW gets out the tape measure.

Still, maybe he can vacuum the house and cook while I recover :)

Ha, when I was a teenager and passing out from the pain of periods, I thought pregnancy would be 9 easy months without periods, then I discovered the hell of hyperemesis.

It would be good if you could pause labour. You could then break it down into manageable chunks, spread the pain over a week or so.

I don't think I'd want to drag it out

I remember being exhausted at one point and asking the midwives to just stop everything so I could go home and sleep. I always laboured through the night so I was tired before it even started.

I would turn dh into a seahorse so he can do some of the hard work.

I'm having a shit pregnancy and have been in varying degrees of pain since I was 5 weeks gone. So I'd invent more pregnancy friendly pain relief than bleeding paracetamol.

I'm gigantic and still have 4 months to go. I will be spherical by Xmas.

You forgot the piles. I had anusol stored in my fridge with the eggs. So if I handed Bump over, would they go away too?

Ameila I too was looking forward to 9 months of no periods. Till I was told labour was like period pain x 10. Errrr... I puke with 'normal' period pain so labour was going to be 'interesting'. And yep I puked! Midwife couldn't bring those cowboy hat bowls quick enough Except of course there's the psychologist I was forced to see who tried to tell me puking with period pain or labour pain was me being prissy/uptight about periods. WTAF??? Cos that's what's running through my mind as I practically enema my way through labour at one end and expel everything I've ever eaten at the other. Do me a favour.

When I was pregnant my doctor asked me to read up on natural vs c-section births. When she asked if I had done my homework and I replied "Yes", and she asked what I thought - my answer was that there really ought to be a better way!

I'm with you on the people who say "not an illness". I had a vomiting bug when DD was around 6 months old and was sick for a couple of days. People were sympathetic. I was bewildered because nobody had shown that level of sympathy when I had morning sickness which felt so much worse as vomiting didn't ease the nausea, and lasted for months.

And I got made redundant partly as a result of a cock up at work I made while horribly sick.

I've loved all of my pregnancies....

When I've had the babies and look back with rose tinted specs!

I can't sleep - restless legs and heartburn.

I haven't been on MN for yonks (only baby names), but this has reminded me that there's always a thread explaining exactly how you're feeling.

I'd like to be able to full on hibernate from conception to delivery. Just sleep through the whole fucking thing in an ensuite room with a big kitchen full of food for when I'm hungry.

Yes Jasper you nailed it. My DH said "it's weird cause when you've got a stomach bug you're really stoical and get on with it, but this morning sickness thing, you're really suffering and moaning about it. Why is that?"

BECAUSE WITH A STOMACH BUG YOU FEEL BETTER AFTER PUKING AND USUALLY FINE 24 HRS LATER...MORNING SICKNESS IS THERE FOR FUCKING MONTHS WITH NO RELIEF!

He's stopped mentioning it now. Although he has now realised why, when we first met, I never wanted another child so that's something I guess

Oh God Amelia, me too!!

Go to your GP about heartburn. They can prescribe omeprazole, ypu take it every day and totally sorts out heartburn