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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the whole pregnancy thing could be altered?

232 replies

DerekSprechenZeDick · 10/09/2016 14:25

This whole pregnancy thing is shit ain't it? Let's be honest

They are made in a fun way (if you are lucky) but then 9 month of just shit.

I think pregnancy should be fun and have perks. Instead I'm stuck in bed due to pelvic pain, a baby who appears to be an athletic octopus and heartburn that makes me want to rip my chest out.

I would like to grow my baby attached to me but be able to unattach should I fancy a piece of shark or a rum.

So I could unstrap the bump, strap it to the dad and I could have a break. The bump would be more like a side car maybe Grin

What would you change about pregnancy?

OP posts:
stitchglitched · 10/09/2016 15:28

I agree with PinkyOfPie. I'd make it illegal for anyone to say 'You're pregnant, not ill!'

I had severe HG for the whole 40 weeks. In what world is throwing up repeatedly until you pull stomach muscles, your throat bleeds and you are so severely dehydrated it takes about 6 bags of fluid before you can even produce a wee not ill??!!

Masketti · 10/09/2016 15:29

Great it would seem we share identical feelings about pregnancy Grin Love the outcome; hate the constant all day every day relentless puking.

WorraLiberty · 10/09/2016 15:29

Pregnant sharks are probably allowed to eat free range humans.

So, like hippies or people living in rural areas.

Cellardoor23 · 10/09/2016 15:31

I didn't like being pregnant either. The first 3 months I was sick. I was told it would get better in the 2nd trimester, it really didn't. I also had what is referred to as lightening crotch. Basically every so often it felt like someone had a knife and was jabbing it up my lady bits. Not pleasant at all.

Has anyone seen that film 'What to expect when you're expecting' ? I think Elizabeth Banks' character had it spot on.

Original poster
DerekSprechenZeDick · 10/09/2016 15:33

cellar apparently it's called fanny daggers. I had to ask someone on here if it was normal and apparently it is

OP posts:
ineedwine99 · 10/09/2016 15:35

A window would be cool to see what they are up to in there, the were times mine didn't seem to move for ages and I spent the whole time freaking out. Now she's here that's not gone away but at least I have a monitor to be able to see her when she's asleep.

GreatFuckability · 10/09/2016 15:36

masketti I've found my people! I did it 3 times for some ungodly reason. I'd genuinely rather give birth every day for the 9 months than be pregnant.

stitchglitched · 10/09/2016 15:37

Also after pains. The baby is out, labour is over. What the hell are these pains? Apparently it's common after two or more births (sorry Derek!)

SchnitzelvonKrummsverylowtum · 10/09/2016 15:37

I'm with you - 33+4 now and I just want to be able to move around without the agony of SPD. And the heartburn is horrific, but gaviscon makes me sick so I just have to put up with it. I'd love to be able to just let DH take over for a bit so I could eat whatever I want and get some sleep.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 10/09/2016 15:41

Yes I had the knife up the fanny thing too! Especially if it was cold.
I thought maybe I had cystitis or something, I didn't realise it was actually a thing. They should put it in a leaflet.

stitchglitched · 10/09/2016 15:42

Schnitzel you can be prescribed ranitidine for the heartburn, I was given it as I couldn't tolerate gaviscon either and it worked like magic.

DavidWainwrightsFeet · 10/09/2016 15:43

I really liked being pregnant and found it a doddle. The only thing I hated was not being allowed to eat my beloved peanut butter but they've changed that now.

Giving birth OTOH.... I'd install a large zip on the female abdomen.

Bigfam · 10/09/2016 15:44

Fanny daggers are completely normal (& evil) they strike when you least expect it. Like in the middle of your child's school play, you have to make a choice between yelping or going beetroot red like you're holding in the biggest ever fart.

dotdotdotmustdash · 10/09/2016 15:45

*Pregnant sharks are probably allowed to eat free range humans.

So, like hippies or people living in rural areas*

Rural flooded areas?

Hippies would be rubbish in the sea - the water would weigh down their flowing robes and long hair. I wonder if Patchouli attracts or repels sharks?

I loved and hated pregnancy and was sad when my last one ended. It's a whole adventure in itself, but worth it.

Original poster
DerekSprechenZeDick · 10/09/2016 15:46

My first I had pre-eclampsia now and was in hospital waiting to hit 37 week so they would induce me.

I was so numb on that ward that I was in labour and didn't even realise!

I got monitored the other week due to pains and the monitor picked up tightenings that I couldn't feel. I had to have a magic test to see if I were likely to give birth soon, that was actually cool and new

OP posts:
Bigfam · 10/09/2016 15:53

What that one of those Fetal fibronectin tests derek? I had one of those in my last pregnancy. It was spot on too, baby decided not show up at 39+3 (I'd honestly had enough by then!) My first was born at 37+3 so those extra 2 weeks were torture!

whatlifestylechoice · 10/09/2016 16:00

I would make it so you have a nice long break between being pregnant and having to look after a newborn. So you could get some proper sleep, get your fitness levels back up, and be ready to enjoy your new baby, all fresh and happy. Instead of being exhausted, wrecked, and feeling like total shit, and then having to do the baby thing. It's a pretty fundamental design flaw, I think.

Original poster
DerekSprechenZeDick · 10/09/2016 16:01

Yes. 8% likely to go into labour in 2 week apparently.

OP posts:
Bigfam · 10/09/2016 16:03

I didn't get a % just a yes or a no. Do you know what you're having? (Is there even a small possibility it will be a baby shark?!)

SpanielLedWeaning · 10/09/2016 16:04

The exhaustion and general tiredness. You can cope with all the other shit so much better if you aren't tired all the time.

Original poster
DerekSprechenZeDick · 10/09/2016 16:04

I think they got it wrong. They told me girl but this is an octopus

OP posts:
Bigfam · 10/09/2016 16:07
Grin
KindergartenKop · 10/09/2016 16:09

I think kangaroos can pause a pregnancy.

Cellardoor23 · 10/09/2016 16:15

I was two weeks overdue. It was torture. The day I was booked in to be induced he decided to make an appearance. When I first got there I think it was about 8am, the midwife said 'oh you'll probably have your baby by about 2pm' Nope, 6am the the following day.

Afreshstartplease · 10/09/2016 16:16

I so want one of those tests like daily from 36 weeks, aibu?