... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

[liz70]

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

ANd I was complaining because my DH and Dfamily ask me what I want and then make ME go to the trouble of buying it and then they just offer to refund me.

Family has form though - one Christmas DSis opened HUGE pile of presents from parents etc. DH and DSis were mortified when they realised that apart from their two presents, parents had managed to give her 27 presents including not one but two Rennie Mackintosh style silver bracelets and me exhibits a) one small jar of Sudocrem and b) one small jar of nutmeg. Turned out one of the bracelets was fro me and had been mislabelled and they just hadn't noticed the imbalance... DH was so mortified he apparently drew it to their attention later.

Last year DM handed me a birthday card for my birthday (no present) still in its cellophane and pristine with the immortal words "I haven't written in this so that you can give it to someone else if you like" WTAF?

Wow. There are some much worse ones on here than what I was going to write, but here goes anyway:

My ExDP (note, the Ex) for my 30th stood me up to take me to a party that my friends had organised for me (he was actually with his emotional affair and couldn't bring himself to leave her that night,) and then the next day, which was my actual birthday, presented me with a cheap box of chocolates, then wondered why I was upset. The thing is: just a month before, I had saved up and bought him a really nice watch for his 30th birthday. Bastard.

My birthday is a couple of weeks before xmas so my presents for both are always shit.

I get presents for my birthday wrapped in xmas paper. I get happy birthday in xmas cards. It always feels like a 'fuck it this will do'.

Last year was the worst. I didn't get a thing for my birthday and for cmas I only got a thermos flask. It only holds one cup of tea so not really useful!

It would just be nice to have my birthday recognised without people fobbing me off using work xmas parties as an excuse not to celebrate my birthday or they don't have money so close to cmas or they just forgot.

Drives me mad because if it's the other way I get hell if I have a genuine reason not to send a card/visit with cake!

Yanbu OP. Thorntons is shit. He should've got you Cadburys

Quick name change as this is very outing

I have had a few birthdays that just make me dread my birthday

So the year of my 21st came round - not really that excited my family has form, but still young enough to be hopeful and 21st are made a big deal of in the family.

Anyway the day comes around and nothing, zip, nada not even a card or phone call. Kind of thought oh well maybe cards are in the post. By the weekend still nothing, no cards, no presents, no phone calls.

About 2 months later I get a call from my mother.

"I'm filling out a form and need your date of birth" I tell here through gritted teeth and make some comment about you should remember you where there right? So your 20 right, no mum I'm 21, no your 20, nope you just totally forgot my birthday.

Few years later, then boyfriend goes to work and i take myself off out for the day. Go to a cafe, wondering round town, buy a DVD, have a lovely day. He gets back and starts row about the fact that I've been lazy and not done anything. My parting words before slaming the front door? "Well it was my birthday"

I've had many a weird present, clothes either too small (well for when you lose that weight - wasn't over weight btw), huge (well you always like baggy shapless clothes - i don't btw). Got a lovely necklace from parents one year - phoned to say thank you to be told coukd I send it back it was meant for my niece not me.

There days dd and I skip work and school and have a lovely day doing something wonderful and I make plans with friends and we celebrate properly with people that actually like me.

My boyfriend is actually really good with presents - but we have only been together two years!

I recently came across my birthday card from him the first year we were dating which had the message 'To my beautiful girlfriend' on the front. This year's card featured a pig drinking a pint...

To be fair, it probably reflects how well he's got to know me!!

Op, that's not on. He's not even
Putting in 0% effort, it's that bad. Make him remember this birthday.

operationunknown that is actually awful. Unmumsnetty hug and and I'm glad you have your dd and lovely friends now to celebrate with!

househuntinginmachester it wasn't great had a few tears over it before I remembered that really I shouldn't have expected anything. Oh yes they forgot me one Christmas too (was 11 from memory) managed to remember my brothers and everyone one else. When dstepsis (who was 17) found out took me out present shopping on new years day herself. Bless her she's a hostage like me lol.

What really niggled is I'm pretty good at buying patents always put lots of effort in, love wrapping them, take care choosing cards. I don't bother anymore with parents and d brothers (prodigal sons and all that).

TheFormidableMrsC

Mind you, I am guilty of buying a shit present, I bought him a Flymo for Christmas one year

I'm betting that you've often wished since then that he accidentally mowed over the electrical cord eh?

I have rarely gotten presents for my birthday as it usually falls on a bank holiday and most ppl forget.

But a short list of the few odd ones
30th kettle, not even all singing dancing , just a cheap kettle. Cos mine was leaking 😑
Tin of ham !!! I don't even like ham.
Hair curlers, my hair is naturally curly.
Pair of enormous slippers! I have size 5 feet.
Pen, not even Mont blanc, just a fancy bic. For the puzzles you do
Meh I have given up now and I am pleased with anything at all cos for a decade i got nowt at all not even a card

I got a food mixer one year. Apparently there was a bet on in the typing pool where he worked about which body part of his I would put in it. He also asked the shop assistant in John Lewis about getting it gift wrapped and they refused.

I know all of this as he was quite upset as he didn't understand what he had done wrong and confessed all on the morning of my birthday.

You should have saved the bag and given that back to him for his birthday (after having spent the day & evening out). If he thinks that's an acceptable gift, I hope he's ready to receive the same.

Dds dad has form for not actually buying gifts and then asking what I've bought myself nice. Three or four years ago (I forget now) before we separated, I had spent ages choosing thoughtful and nice gifts for Christmas for him. He got loads of stuff that I knew he really wanted but would never buy himself. I got..... a wok. Not even wrapped, just a sticky bow on it. I don't think if ever expressed a desire to own a wok. It has lived on top of the kitchen unit since!

Last year his mother bought me some size 8 pyjamas. I am absolutely not a size 8, and probably haven't ever been! I have known him over 15 years (school friends) and we lived with his parents for almost 2 years!!!!

On our first Christmas together, we'd been together 6 months, my boyfriend had been to an artist and had a portrait of himself drawn in pencil. Framed it in the most hideously gaudy gold frame. And presented it to me proudly. I nearly laughed at him, until I realised he was deathly serious. This was my present. He had a moustache at the time and the artist had made him look a bit like Burt Reynolds?

Then there was the year that we'd decided not to buy each other presents as we were on our arses and it was enough to afford presents for the children. He had a pang of remorse on Christmas Eve and went out to the Co-op (the Co-op!) and bought me... an epilator. Thinking that I'd probably got him something, a toiletry set or box of chocolates at least. Nope. I'd bought him nothing and he'd bought me pain.

I did get the last laugh however, when last Christmas Harvey Nicks asked about the time we had to pull #giftfaces and my two shockers above won me £500 to spend and I bought myself a Michael Kors watch. Happy days!

I married him. Keeper. Obviously.

I got a Readers Digest DIY manual one year.

He got the encylopedia of space for his birthday the next time (he hates space, and I love it). He always remembers at least a nice card now.

YANBU Liz. That is unbelievably lazy. I don't expect big presents but I do expect a little thought behind the present. Let us know what you're going to get him for his birthday!

Just remembered...my husband did buy me a tea bag squeezer once for birthday or Xmas....no idea why!!

My DH forgot my bday this year, we have been together 20yrs and has never forgotten before. Not sure if this makes it worse or better!
I thought to myself "never mind, I'm sure he will get something now that he realises". I waited and waited for several days and no present.
I took the credit card and went and bought myself a new jacket, it made me feel slightly better. 😕

My ex DP and I broke up on Christmas eve.

I was feeling strangely charitable about it all and let him keep his (expensive, well thought-out) presents to open Christmas Day. Naively I thought we could end up friends.

When I opened my present from him it was a bloody £15 Topshop t-shirt! I had been hoping for a very nice watch and had dropped lots of hints so I was pretty annoyed.

A few weeks later I found out he had been cheating on me with a girl at work (all three of us worked in the same office) and I had to see her walking around wearing it on a daily basis until I got a new job and left!

Posted this before, but back in the days of zx spectrums I came in to find a huge pile of presents. Number one-computer game. Number two. Ditto. Three, four, five and six.By this time steam was coming out my ears. The last two were a vegetarian cookbook (no we aren't) and an lp, which was the only decent present. He made that mistake once.
My mum did buy me an aluminium stepladder for my birthday. I was 6 months pregnant.

Wearing the watch, that is.

Omg I amazed but shouldn't be really. My dad bought my mum a blood pressure monitor for xmas, she tried it (under duress) and was fine. His was sky high and he was in hospital that night!

Don't think I will ever complain about my DH presents again. But he has taken him a few times to start making t effort of wrapping etc.

I would feel the same as you. And let him know how you feel

ExH told me, shortly before my 30th, that he had told his parents to get me a lawnmower for my birthday. When incredulous me asked why he said "Well we need one"

I rang his mother, she was as pissed off as I was that him and his dad had cooked up this plan and gave them both a bollocking. I got very expensive perfume, that I suspect cost more than FIL was happy to spend!

"When I opened my present from him it was a bloody £15 Topshop t-shirt!"

That's £14 more than my tight-arsed twat of a husband spent on me!