... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

[liz70]

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

Depends on the toiletries maths. Deodorant and a can of lynx, no. But some high end face stuff or hair products always go down well here. Alongside something else, so more as a stocking filler, but still always wanted and liked.

De-icer, a bottle of coke and a packet of tic-tacs.

It was my 21st. Knobhead.

I've had no luck with presents from partners. My ex 'forgot' my 18th despite staying with me at the time. Not so much as a happy birthday peck on the cheek.

My current partner bought me an Alan titchmarsh book for my 39th birthday. I've no idea what made him think I'd like that. I tried hard not to be upset or offended... I make a joke about it now. The year before that he bought me a tshirt that was too small for me that made me look like a gameboy. When I was pregnant with our daughter he bought me a tshirt with the face of a space hopper on the front... He doesn't really get buying presents or that tshirts aren't particularly suitable gifts for the supposed love of your life. I try dropping huge hints like "get me this for my birthday" but I always end up with a tshirt...

Dh has bought me, for Christmas, bed linen and net curtains.

In fairness I did ask for them and was genuinely pleased there really isn't much I want

One of the most thoughtless things I was given wasnt a present but a card.

When I opened a birthday card from a BF the shock must have registered on my face as he said something. I dont care for dogs. He knew that. I open a tacky card with the Slogan "Have a Devilish Birthday" on it. With a huge ugly dog on it, face with a huge toothy grin & slobbering, complete with red horns and a red tail.

Jesus. How romantic. Not even a nice girlfriend card.

Another BF, just bought cheap poor quality crap. I bought him links of london cufflinks in the sale but still not that cheap and when my birthday came round I got cheap crap. He earned lots more than me too.

He also gave me a pile o thorntons chocolate. Thinking he liked it, I got him thortons chocolate next time, he actually said he didnt like it, not good quality. I then told him, good enough for me when gave me a pile of it though.

Not birthday, but for last Valentine's Day, (for which we normally do silly gifts, not of real monetary value) I got DH some little heart marshmallows, little silly things and a band tee shirt, I got fucking Marie fucking Kondo stupid twatty Magic of fucking Tidying!

He told me that he said to his work mate that it was a risky present, but thought it would be funny!! It is currently sat on a clutter filled bookshelf gathering dust, I have never even cracked the spine! 'DH' is also gathering dust and bloody lucky I will still tolerate him! Bloody twat!

1. Grandparent who totally forgot to get a card (I was a child) and asked if I would prefer an extra fiver rather than buying a card.

1. Ex DP who gave me a card two days late (hadn't even heard from him) that said, "sorry, I was stoned and asleep but I hope you had a great birthday".

I once got a patio door lock for my Christmas present - from my sister and it was a month late.

If that wasn't bad enough... I actually don't have any patio doors. She said "it will come in handy one day." It did. I wrapped it up and gave it to her the following year. "But I don't have any patio doors" she said!

This will out me, but when I was 7 months pregnant, huge, tired and fed up, ExP decided to lash £80 we didn't have on what he considered a real treat for my birthday.

Had my car valeted. And that was that. 🙄

Also when I was 21 an ex gave me a HUGE framed picture of Natasha Kinski naked but wrapped in a snake. Apparently it was an ok present as he was a photographer and it was art. Fuckwit.

Squeezy marmite and a birthday card for my first Mother's Day!

Well, this thread is an eye-opener. I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry at some of these, umm, "presents".

DH has this shit habit of building up my expectations and then crashing them on the day.

Probably the most disappointing was in the lead-up to Christmas one year. We had been living together for about 2 years at this point but weren't yet engaged. He started telling me that about 2 months before Christmas that what he really wanted for Christmas was for us to spend the rest of our lives together. Everytime we walked past a jewellers he stopped me and asked me what style of rings I liked, and I even caught him printing off a 'how to work out her ring size' guide from the internet. Plus he was dropping lots of comments about wanting me to be his wife. So you can guess what I was thinking. Sadly I was working an early shift on Christmas day (nurse) but he told me he really wanted to give me my present before I left for work so that I would leave with a smile on my face. So I get up at 5.30am Christmas morning feeling quite nervous and DH excitedly gets out off bed and runs to where my present is kept. I wait with anticipation feeling excited about being able to tell our family and friends the big news later once I had finished work and then he comes back in and presents me with.... an animal adoption certificate for the year. I literally had no idea what to say.

Simillarly for my 30th he spent weeks beforehand telling me how he wanted to get me something special for my 30th (to put this in context, for his 30th a couple of years before I had surprised him with a trip to New York). Now I knew our money was a bit tight that year, so I wasn't expecting anything expensive, but was hopeful for something thoughtful and special. So my birthday comes around and he's late home from work (which is annoying me anyway). He comes in with a package that he has obviously had to stop off and pick up from the post office on the way home. So he then presents me with a tray to use to stop my laptop from over-heating. Unwrapped and still in it's delivery box. And a homemade IOU voucher for a day out later in the year (but he hadn't organized anything). I was fuming.

He did also get me an alarm clock one Christmas as well.

The thing is though is that he's so inconsistent. I've also had lovely presents from him (surprise trips to Brugge for my birthday one year, and a lovely new watch last Christmas) so I literally never know what each birthday / Christmas is going to bring. He either gets it really, really right or completely wrong.

I think monicaf may be on the wrong thread...

My late MIL gave me a Kitchen Devil Bread Knife for my 21st Birthday.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It's a good job she hadn't sought the approval of my DH on that one - that would have be far more worrying!

A deep fat fryer, couple of years ago! My look of disbelief was met with, but you said you liked proper chips Husband never made another mistake like that!

It was my birthday yesterday. We spent it travelling home from holiday (I also spent last year's travelling home from a wedding) 😞 I had no presents to unwrap. Not one. And no cards, though there were a couple from MIL and my grandparents that arrived this morning. DH hadn't had time to get anything...he's since ordered me a couple of things off Amazon which will come this weekend. We have two kids and no free time and he's insanely busy with work so I told him not to bother getting me anything as I didn't want my birthday to be another chore on our list, BUT I asked him to just make sure that he got something small like a box of chocolates or a bottle of something for 3yo DD to wrap and give me as she's really into birthdays and loves the ceremony of it all, and I knew she'd be upset if she had nothing to give me. He didn't 😞 I know it's ridiculous but it's the fact she missed out on the gift giving that she would have loved which is making me so upset.

Edited to clarify - I ordered myself a few bits off Amazon, just off his account....

TownMouse, DD3, who's 7, even apologised to me for not getting a present for me, bless her! DH took her to the local library science club on Saturday morning, so could have sorted something out with her after that, but didn't bother.

I got nothing from DH this year, but that's because we're skint.

DH is very good at Christmas, birthdays are beyond him.

This year I got car mats.

I've never had a present from DD and this is changing this year, he also needs to understand the hell of shopping with her.

Mother's Day he did disappear for 3 hours to his mates and turns up with slightly brown carnations - I hate carnations. Strangely he didn't get Much for Father's Day!

Oh OP, that's so sad. Poor little mite. Hope she didn't feel too guilty about it! My DD also felt bad so she drew me some pictures, folded them up and stuck them close with sparkly tape, and posted them under the door when I was getting dressed. Such a little sweetheart.

This whole thread is why we're a list family!

My dad is the atrocious one. If you're not 100% specific, then he panic buys shit.

Last year he said he was going to get me a new radio for the car (ancient and still had a tape deck in it). We'd nipped into Lidl to get pastries and he bought an iPad keyboard. He didn't have his iPad with him (was visiting from 200 miles away) so I asked him if he'd like to test it on mine. Which he did, then said, why don't you keep that as your birthday present?! I'm used to it now though!

And the year he bought my sister a turtle shaped Samsonite backpack with matching purse. She was 18. Or when he bought me a video recorder and her a doll. I was 18 and going off to uni, but she was 16!

Now I ask him for expensive slippers, send him the link, my size and my preferred colour.

My DH did buy me a horrible gaudy 'engagement' ring one Christmas. I was 7 months pregnant with twins and hugely swollen. He'd asked me what I wanted (we were engaged but low key and hadn't bothered with a ring) and I had specifically said anything but a ring.

I made him take it back. I was really annoyed. To be fair, I should have known then what his listening skills were like!

My DP recently received, apropo of nothing, 30 quids worth of meat from the discount butchers for his birthday, from his parents.
He has a very small freezer and no where to store it.
He was not happy.
I am though, as I'm currently tucking into one of the steaks!