... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

[liz70]

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

A few weeks after giving birth to our 2nd DC, my "D"H bought me for my birthday.......the 30 day Shred DVD and nothing else!

Maybe not the most appropriate thread for my story but here it is! So...it's my birthday today (30!) and my husband wanted to buy me a special present. We dont always do big presents but this time I hinted that I would like a pair of earrings as I lost one of the ones I always used to wear. I dont have much jewelery and I am not that much into it but I can be quite fussy about what I like (not necessarily about how expensive it is but about the style). So he went out of his way to look for something "nice", that he tought I would like. He was really excited about it before giving me the present, told me how he went to countless shops to find something nice and within our budget. He bought me a pair of tiny rose gold diamond earrings that were really expensive for us but I was so disappointed when I saw them...I just could not hide it! I dont like rose gold and intricate detail...
I feel really bad now, as he's really made an effort to buy me a special present, but even though they were expensive...they are ugly!

Men are notoriously useless I'm afraid, even my hubby who is amazing and throughtful, had the idea a kitchen appliance would be a good idea for our 5th wedding anniversary, his logic behind it was good but he seemed to have forgotten what romance was, lol.
I just tell my DH now what I want for my birthday and he goes and gets it, that way I'm not upset, I get something I like and he doesn't have to stress about it.

DS was 6 months and I was looking forward to my birthday, DH bought me...a book on weaning. And nothing else. It really didn't help to dispel my thoughts that I was now seen as 'mum' only rather than 'me'. I was a bit crazy and bawled him out about it, his response? "But it's Annabel Karmel!". FML. I told him I'd rather he bought me a year's worth of jars and pouches to save me the time.

Sithee I'm not sure how you didn't kill your 'D'H for that one!

My birthday is next Friday & ive told my oh he needs to fix up this year coz my past two birthdays he's seriously upset me.

I've spoilt him rotten since we've been together (6.5 years) and yeah, I expect the same treatment. Don't get me wrong in not materialistic but birthdays, I believe should be fussed over. Not necessarily expensive but thoughtful.

Last year I got a £20 pair of trainers.
The year before he didn't buy me a present from our baby who was 5 months old.
I've told him "having no money isn't a valid reason". He has 9 months of a new year to save!! A whole year if you go September to September.

So..... We'll see what happens next Friday.

Oh, in19 years I had my fair share of s**t presents.
One year I had a leather mini skirt with a hole in it, complete with non return tags, apparently I could fix it? And anyway, he only bought it for the bedroom, so it didn't matter it was unusable.
Another year it was a bundle from the charity shop ( I have a thing about charity shops, I loathe them).
Then there was the year he gifted me his old linen trousers he used to travel in.
Charity books. (Nothing wrong with them, but innapropriate for someone's 30th). A kitchen appliance because our old one had broken. A set of pans.
Most of his gifts have been a mockery. I started buying my own and throwing his in the bin.
He's also an ex.

My ex bought me a mobile phone top up voucher one year cos l like vouchers and talking. Cock!!

One year my "d"h brought me nothing! Not even a card or cards from the kids who were most upset. He doesn't tend to bother with birthdays and although we pay things for him unless they're clothes he doesn't use them. He seems to think the same rule applies to me. It's the thought more than expense. Last year he brought me a spa voucher although I'm not a spa person I appreciate the thought but sometimes feel he doesn't make the effort (easier to go online and find a deal for something). He's not hugely romantic, practical yes, romantic no.

My husband is useless at presents. We have a young baby and this year I got a bunch of slightly dead looking sunflowers (that I picked when asked to select from the crap selection) and he still owes me a present that will never materialise. From my daughter he got me a mug with I love my mummy but in the heart are lots of words such as caring, loving etc. Pass the sick bucket! He knows I hate that kind of fake soppy shit so I thought it was a joke, but no he thought i'd like it. Don't get me wrong I don't expect him to spend a lot, a less horrid mum mug would have been great. This is from the man who bought me a dolphin necklace once!!! No, I wasn't a teenager at the time.

He's always been crap at presents but I've learnt to just accept it.

One exbf bought me loads of presents and lined them all up. The first was a psp, followed by loads of psp games, each individually wrapped, he was particularly proud coz it was pink )& secondhand). He was a computer games geek and knew I hated computer games. Mind you he was a passive aggressive controlling twat.

I buy my own Christmas presents now and ask for cash for birthdays so I can chose something myself. It's not ideal but after some really crap gifts over the years this way I am less disappointed.

Corkers include a digital radio alarm clock the first year we were together!!! To wake me up and because I didn't have one and like listening to music.

A scarf from Monsoon more or less identical to one I had and some bloody socks albeit from Monsoon but come on.

A selection of crap clothes nonprofit which I liked some looked like something hookers would wear and others like something his mother would wear they all went back and weren't tried on.

I got a squeegee for the shower door one year from DH. And, memorably, an 18th birthday present from an aunt who disliked me, a single fabric covered coaster with multicoloured hippos on it.

However I have committed a few of these myself when buying for DH: a lap tray, an extendable duster and a car cleaning mitt. He seemed pleased with all of them though.

This wasn't DH, but was actually from DHs Grandfather.

He was in his 80s and racist, misogynistic, generally unpleasant.

One year for Christmas all the ladies (me, MiL, SiL) got one of those suction pads for a bar of soap, another Christmas we got one of those plastic magnifying lenses to stick on the back window of the car that supposedly make reversing easier...

A set of saucepans for Christmas. 'They were on offer'.

My dh also always gets me jelly babies because I said I liked them once. He bought me a watering can for our 10 year wedding anniversary. Wouldn't have minded quite much had it been the size I wanted. I asked him to take it back. I must have forgiven him though because I conceived on our anniversary.

Ex husband bought me the same CD for both Christmas and Birthday

Bought a friend a Chanel eyeliner one year. Meant a lot as I was a skint freelancer at the time. A month later I got my present: a face pack sample from Sephora and a charity shop scarf filled with a tangle of battered bangles that I had seen lingering in a bowl in her spare room for months. It's not so much the charity shop thing I mind, rather the idea that she just wandered round the house picking bits up thinking 'this'll do'.

Caelaj07

It's not a man thing. What utter tosh. It's a can't be arsed to think thing.

DH bought me a food mixer the month before I had our first child for my birthday as well as a couple of small eatables. I wasn't happy. He explained it was a really good one and we needed it for the baby. I was being spoilt as he was right and now I'd love kitchen stuff!

My hubby is shit at presents too, this year it was his birthday a few weeks beforehand and he insisted on a bike as he had just lost his license so by the time we bought that and paid his fines there was no money left to buy me anything. I usually don't mind but would be nice if he thought about it sometimes but in thevery meantime I will buy my own....at least will get something I like then lol

DH bought me a lavender bubble bath gift set for one birthday. I'm allergic to lavender. He knew at the time. And then went "but the lady at John Lewis said all women love lavender". Because women at JL's know exactly what I want.

Mother's Day was a corker for me; two miniature Stanley knives that I can attach to my keys. To celebrate investment in my business?!; a screwdriver with interchangeable heads. But I was genuinely thrilled, because his thought process was, she needs tools and loves all things miniature 😜
I used to get offended by what I deemed to be 'unromantic' gifts, now I realize that it's because he cares for me deeply that he buys me things that I can and will use. Anything treat like; I buy for myself. For my 30th this year, he took me Barcelona, trudged quite willingly for two days straight around every shop (read Zara!) that I could find, then topped it off by proposing with a handmade, grey diamond ring. It occurred to me that when it matters, he gets it really bloody right.
OP, the lack of...anything for your birthday, any effort, or thought,does smack of far bigger problems than just a crappy present.

My hubby is a bit hit or miss at the gifting lark.
One year he brought me an American fridge freezer as our fridge broke. I told him it was big enough for him to be buried in.
One Christmas he bought me a very expensive!! Meerkat in a red velvet dressing gown statue. Yes I like Meerkats but real ones not the insurance type ones with stupid voices.
But on my 40th he had another necklace and pendant made for me by the same person who made the original one he got me that I lost a few years previous.
This year he got me a fitbit surge but 2 years ago I got nothing as I was in hospital that day!!

I don't think I will ever understand nene and their present buying logic

Pleased I'm not alone. ExP sent me lovely birthday and Christmas cards, when he was jail! Normal service resumed on his release and got naff all. My Mam used to buy my Mother's Day card of DD because he was a lazy twat.

Funny enough we have been split up a year and I had to get his Mam a Mother's Day card and a birthday card off our DD or she doesn't get one

It's my birthday tomorrow....I suspect I'll be joining this thread.

DP asked me what I wanted, I told him doesn't look like he has ordered it! I'm fairly sure he hasn't got me a card either, we have this every year.... birthday and anniversary. Wake up in morning, I hand over card/start to open family cards and wait hopefully....he suddenly needs to go to the shop.... He then comes back half an hour later with a shit card (usually complete with price tag) and (admittedly nice) flowers. No thought at all which really annoys me.

He is very literal too, a couple of years we were broke....he lost his job twice, he asked what I wanted... I said nothing really, don't waste money.....so I got NOTHING! Two years running. Funnily enough for his a month after I had saved for gifts.

Came to a head the anniversary he totally forgot, I thought I would wait until he said something card shops were closed and he didn't all day so I passive aggressively put his card on his pillow, he was mortified . I purposely 'forgot' the next year and luckily for him he managed to remember before the day!

He has already told me what he wants for his birthday.....a very expensive thing. I said "let's see how mine goes shall we?"