... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

[liz70]

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

I once got a slanket. As in - a blanket with sleeves.

The reason?

"You're always cold"

I'm not.

Feel your pain some men are crap. My ex got me some very interesting gifts - cement mixer ( I am not a bricklayer and had no interest in mixing cement) he even tied a pink bow on it 🤔, a dented glitter ball, a book about soldiers at war ( again not an interest of mine) , ice scraper and car airfreshner ( I didn't have a car at the time) hammer drill without the drill bits, extendable paint brush and shampoo to bring out blonde highlights ( I have dark brown hair) to name but a few. I stuck it out for 8 years! We are still good friends and can laugh about it now. Mind you my DH isn't much better - he gets his mum to buy me something - which at least guarantees no diy equipment 🙂

After 10 years of shit birthday presents from dh (or no birthday present at all) I started buying my presents myself. A few years of that, and of me telling people I did that, coupled with a couple of years of my getting him cheap crap for his birthday "I know you're not too bothered about birthdays....", he's pulling his socks up a bit.

I'll never forget the year I asked for a scientific calculator. I even sourced the one I wanted (came from Smiths). It wasn't like I was asking for the moon, it only cost 15 quid. He gave me nothing, and then pretended he wasn't feeling well (coming down with a cold ffs) and spent the day lying on the sofa, while dd (4 yo) tried to make me a present out of sellotape and paper which I had to help her with without looking, bless her. Hard not to cry though.

Cocklodger - it's funny when men go to great lengths to organise something really special but always seem to forgot one vital thing.

Friend's big birthday. Her DH planned long weekend in London - hotel, show, dinner, all sorts of nice things. He even managed to organise her having the Friday and Monday off work. She was thrilled at the prospect. Then she asked him who was looking after the children while they were away. The children? Oh, he hadn't thought about them.

Thats awful OP! I'll have to re evaluate my partners gift choices now lol.My birthday last year, i was on holiday with my family (i'm 24, he's 35) and he kept sending me pictures of michael kors jewellery (which everyone knows i love)... come home from holiday all excited and get flowers, chocolate, candles and a bear.

Still decent gifts but not what i was expecting x

My husband came home at 10pm one birthday after I had given up hope of being taken out for a surprise meal and gone to bed . He came in rather shamefaced, said Happy birthday and with a flourish produced a bottle of rather good champagne from behind his back. I took it from him, thinking all is forgiven, and started to strip off the foil. His eyebrows shot up in horror. 'Oh don't open it now' he said ' let's save it for a special occasion'.

turnturtle
Did you hit him with it?

An out of date packet of biscuits from the corner shop was the birthday where dh really excelled himself.

He once memorably gave me a valentines card which was actually a birthday card with "Happy Birthday" crossed out and "Happy Valentines Day" written in biro underneath.

My OH isn't usually too bad. But a couple of years ago I got up and made cups of tea, breakfast, packed lunches etc. They all (3 children too) came down one by one, no one said happy birthday. I realised they'd all forgotten.
I opened a few cards from other family members and put them on the fridge. Still no one noticed. Children went to school. I sat and had lunch with OH as he comes in for lunch.
About 3pm I found a few Happy Birthday comments on Facebook. So I commented " thanks for remembering as no one else in my house has remembered". Within a few minutes someone tipped the OH off. He phoned up in fits of laughter, asking what the date was. He thought it was the funniest thing ever. He had genuinely forgotten. The children were a bit upset when they found out. Especially the one who has a birthday a few days after mine. He was worried I might forget his accidentally on purpose. 😀

My ex-husband once bought me a CD for my birthday by an artist I really liked.

Except I didn't.

He was pleased with himself when he gave it me: see? I listen to you. I got you that new album you wanted!

Dude, I mean, I don't dislike him, but nope. I've never mentioned wanting this album.

Turns out he was thinking of The Other Woman.

And there endeth the marriage.

Dh used to be terrible at buying gifts. One year he'd clearly done his Christmas shopping in one visit to.... Halfords. I got a car alarm, a thing to clip on to my visor that held CDs and other car related things. And I didn't have a CD player in the car. If he'd got me one of those, I'd have been v happy. There were tears.

He's done better since then. Sometimes it's still a bit weird - like the dashcam I got 2 years ago. Other years others think it's weird, but actually very appropriate. Someone upthread mentioned being upset by receiving a single sized electric blanket. I got one 2 Christmases ago and it's excellent. He's always hot in bed and I'm cold so that's great.

My sisters have form for shit gifts though.

One made a show of telling me a few times how she was looking forward ot the present she'd got me from Vegas while there on holiday. It was a book - Things to do before you are 40. I'm sure she thought it a good idea, but mostly it pointed out the things I hadn't actually got round to doing before I was 40.

My other was much worse. She gets gifts from charity shops. No problem with that unless they are dirty or broken, as a couple of gifts for my DDs had been over the years (scratched Barbie horse with a matted mane anyone?, no?).

One year she got me a picture frame clock combo. When I looked at it I couldn't help but be ungracious. "Did you know it's got someone's name engraved on it?" She'd bought me someone's (unwanted) 30 year service for working at Shell Oil company gift. Someone called Graham somebody. It was also chipped and the glass was broken in one corner.

Poor present? Bag of sweets, garage flowers, unwrapped gift. Leave on kitchen table untouched forever. Do not buy him (or her, a birthday present). Then on your next birthday order a gift wrapped very expensive present and do this every year until the penny drops.

My DH is normally fab at buying presents but last Christmas he decided to get me two of the Lego architecture range (because I enjoy playing Lego with DS and they were two places we had been). I couldn't do them with DS as they were too intricate so I spent NYE doing Lego when he was in bed.

Whilst they were okay and are now collecting dust on the shelf I told DH whilst I had quite enjoyed doing them in no uncertain terms did I want any more.

For my Birthday in February he got me the f*ing London Tower Bridge. It took 3 of us ages to complete it, then we looked at it for a few days then I had to dismantle it as it was too big to display so it's in a box in the spare room.

I realise l might sound ungrateful but I just keep thinking of what we could have spent that money on (and I had told him I didn't want any more!)

Rumpelstiltskin, you are an evil genius.

At Christmas an ex had wrapped some presents for me - wow, was I excited! He never had really given me anything for Christmas before, despite having been together for 3 years at this point (he was a shit boyfriend to be fair). The excitement quickly faded when I realised he had just wrapped up some cds that I left at his a couple of months before. He had bought them for me when we were out shopping together (I had picked them out) and we had listened to them together several times before.

I got him around £300 worth of presents on my poorly paid retail wage.

He had been paid £7k redundancy prior to the CD buying, which he then used to go travelling around Canada - I wasn't allowed to go because he needed to do it 'on his own' (but with all his friends obviously)

Makes me feel sad thinking about it! Poor 20 year old me!

For 3 years on the bounce I didn't get a birthday present because my birthday is in January and he'd spent all his money going out with friends over Christmas and New Year.

The first year DH and I were together he asks me what I'd like for my bday. I say a new bracelet. Come my bday I get all excited and happy and what do I get a blu-Ray player. His logic was I love films. I was annoyed because he had just ordered it off the net instead of going out shopping for jewellery, why bother asking me if he was going to do his own thing anyway, I was in the process of clearing out DVD's so why would I want to spend loads replacing them on blu-Ray, also he claims he couldn't send it back as I'd asked if he could and I'd just buy my own bracelet and also it was blatantly a present for him!

He does this because he's obsessed with technology. I've told him and wrote lists of what I want before and not got any of them. I said once months before Christmas an off the cuff comment about how I wanted an iPad and I got one! But wren I actually tell him what to buy I never get it lpl

Awwww that's so crap ... what a horrible birthday. I'd have fumed that he chose to go out instead of treating you, even if it was just to take some responsibility off your hands and make you a cuppa. DP and I don't often buy presents as we don't have a lot of money, but if you're reasonably off that was a pathetic offering. Poor you - so sorry

I somehow ended up buying all my own christmas presents one year We hadn't been together that long and he asked to "borrow" some money. I later discovered he'd used the money to buy my christmas presents (a pile of disney dvd's by the way - I was 28!) and never bothered to repay me the money

One thing about being single: you haven't got an OH to buy you a crap gift. I always make sure I'm on holiday somewhere, preferably abroad. I spend the day shopping for important little luxuries (scent, cashmere scarves, shoes, handbags have all featured) and book myself into a fab restaurant for dinner.

No surprises, but you do get the chance to enjoy the whole thing to its fullest.

Lisa, ah the slanket, I got one of those...in beige!!

A few years ago I was working in a well know furniture store (name rhymes with shabitat). It was Christmas time so we were all on the shop floor buzzing around like crazy, I was up a ladder finishing a display of Christ knows what. Anyway, a well dressed and very well spoken mature gent came waltzing up to me and genuinely, I mean truly genuinely, asked my opinion on a salad spinner "for my wife, for Christmas, do you think she would like it?". I smiled as sweetly as I could, gently turned him to face the window looking out onto the shopping centre and pointed to the jewellers over the road... " no sir, I think she might find something from there a little more....festive, goodbye"

I hope there is no one on this thread reporting a salad spinner for Christmas 😆

I got a lap tray padded TVs dinner style from an ex for Valentine's Day and some gross cheap version of Anne summers underwear.
My DH has bought me flowers I'm allergic to a few times and chocolates/sweets I can't stand. Go ape voucher I'm scared of heights He's done really well a few times too though in the last 10 years.
I'd buy something or do something special for yourself x

Oh honey men are just insensitive sometimes doesn't mean he doesn't love you loads. In a few weeks let him know you were disappointed by the lack of effort and may be anniversary or x'mas he will get the message and try a bit harder.

It's my 41st birthday on Sunday no effort is ever put into my present. My 40th was complete down bought my own cake and lady in shop said how awful to have to buy your own cake. Restaurant was only booked because day before I said its;0 suppose to make some effort. Each year as at Xmas get asked what present I would like. Why ask me because I never get what I ask for same as you not wealthy not poor not asking for the world. Just a little bit of thought. This year after a really difficult time with two older dds and a small son whom we are worried about I asked could we go away overnights gut just me son and dp did not need to be expensive. But really wanted a night away. Has he booked anything made any effort no. I feel like taking our son and buggering off on my own. My eldest is 23 she walked into a room of cards last year didn't even wish me happy b day which is all I ask then promptly asked for cash. I think you should treat yourself as it seems to be others. Don't realise a inexpensive but present with just a bit of thought is worth so much more in the value of its appreciation by us. The only thing that's made me feel a bit better is reading about all the other men who are equally shite at birthday presents so thank you ladies. What annoys me more is all the effort I put into dd and dp presents there would be uproar if I gave them so little thought. Still I will console myself with a cuddle from my little boy who puts the rest of my family to shame with his family bought and love.

We have a holiday.
Safer that way.