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Original poster

... to start my own sh*t birthday present from DH thread?

496 replies

liz70 · 08/09/2016 10:58

...Seeing as there seem to be a few knocking around at the moment?

My birthday was on Tuesday. I spent most of it running around after other people - taking DD2 to an appointment, looking after DD3 in the evening while DH had a meet up (optional) after work. So by the time he comes in at 9pm I've been run ragged, getting DD3 fed, bathed, to bed, hanging washing, getting things ready for the next morning, preparing a meal for us etc.

So DH puts my birthday present on the table. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped.

Now... I don't think I'm particularly materialistic. I try to keep costs down with shopping - groceries are pretty much all supermarket and value brand. I buy most of my and DD3's clothes from George, F & F and suchlike. I don't demand designer hand bags or diamond jewellery.

We're not super wealthy, but neither are we skint - no mortgage, and a comfortable amount of savings.

It seemed to have fuck all thought put into it, and he couldn't even be arsed to wrap it. Sad I did ask if he'd also brought a bunch of flowers from a petrol station, to complete the whole "will this do?" vibe, but no.

I just feel so fucking undervalued and unappreciated right now.Sad

I think I'll just tell him that from now on, don't fucking bother getting me anything for birthdays. I'd rather buy something myself.

OP posts:
northernshepherdess · 09/09/2016 18:51

I don't usually get anything now... except a birthday tea.. of his choosing :/
One year he tried to be a good DH and brought me a tiny £250 diamond pendant which I made him return... because frankly.. I can bust a hammer ! That thing had no chance.
Aside from that.. I don't get presents, I usually get DH a mans perfume and that's that.
Otherwise.. I prefer practical gifts. My mum got me a battery operated tool kit, drill saw torch etc for one of my birthdays and I loved it so.. you get the gist.
And I treated myself to a makita drill set the year before last :)

northernshepherdess · 09/09/2016 18:55

The most funny was my friends who are farmers.
He needed a hammer tool for channeling the silage pit.. and she needed a hammer tool for a stone gate post.
He brought her one thinking he'd be wily and borrow it and she Brought him the exact same one thinking she would borrow his.. hahaha
I think the year before he brought her a petrol mowe and she brought him a petrol stringer.

northernshepherdess · 09/09/2016 18:56

*mower

  • strimmer
Notquitewhatiexpected · 09/09/2016 18:57

That's crap. You need to tell him it's unacceptable.

Minesadoublethanks · 09/09/2016 19:02

My DH walked into a shop beside a card shop on my birthday and bought himself a new cd, dvd.ON MY BIRTHDAY. I didn't even get a card! This was many years ago and he has been paying for it since. It was almost worth it as he know makes brilliant efforts! 😀

MotherDuck23 · 09/09/2016 19:06

DH was a terrible gift giver... I've had all sorts, from things for the house to nothing over the years for both birthday and Christmas. He is getting better though - the last couple of years I've had jewellery and things and even a puppy last year! I've been really upset by some of his gifts in the past though... like the soup maker that was on sale and brought the day before Christmas Eve, and various unwrapped bits and bobs.

In contrast, an ex once gave me (for Valentine's) a dozen red roses, chocolates, an 'I love you' teddy bear and a very deep and meaningful card about how much he loved me... we had been together for 3 months... I was needless to say a bit put off! Another ex once got me a set of Dove bath stuff, despite me having really awful allergies to it along with the majority of stuff you put in the bath!

MotherDuck23 · 09/09/2016 19:07

I should add to that the fact I don't even like soup!

MaQueen · 09/09/2016 19:08

Since being with DH my presents have always come from the shops nearest to his offices.

This was great when his offices were in town, and just 50 yards from Molton Brown, The White Company and Whistles...not so great when they moved to the suburbs, and there was just a Co Op, a tiny Boots and 2 charity shops...

Luckily, they moved again, and he's next door to a beautiful interiors shop and an amazing florist Smile

Alizzle · 09/09/2016 19:15

I've had:
-normal clothing while preggers
-a card with the price left on
-nothing
And most recently, a toaster!
We actually needed the toaster though Hmm

MaddyHatter · 09/09/2016 19:16

my DH tries, but what pisses me off is that we've been together for 15 years, funnily enough, my birthday is on the same day every year, and yet he always acts like it has snuck up on him..

So rather than getting something he's really put some thought in, i get a drive-by hit on the local costume/fashion jewellery store and an amazon voucher emailed to me.

i've taken to arranging my own things now.

missuspritch · 09/09/2016 19:20

I always get underwear or Jewlery for my birthdays. Sounds lovely but it kinda takes the fun out of it when you get asked 'what size are you again' (for the 100th time!!!) a week or so before your birthday. And If it's not that then the Tiny box shaped gift comes.

Sounds ungrateful (and it probably is compared to garage flowers or pound shop chocolates) but after 10 years it does get a little predictable! X

Puppymouse · 09/09/2016 19:23

DH is usually very thoughtful but can be rather literal at times. DD is a late Oct baby and my bday is end Dec so the year she was born I was still very much in the newborn fug by my birthday. I couldn't think of anything I wanted as nothing would fit and just couldn't wrap my head around anything. I said to DH I couldn't think of anything.

So he didn't get me anything. Not even a card.

My Dad came up and dashed out to Tesco Metro for a Minion cake and some bunting. The cake was gross but the effort made me cry.

The year he bought me a bedding set from Asda was a low point too...

Flozle · 09/09/2016 19:25

Nineteen years with my ex and I can count the number of birthday/Christmas presents I got on one hand. To be fair he did but me a couple of mulberry handbags, and some nice jewellery, but I put a lot of thought and effort into birthday gifts, and always felt so worthless when he didn't bother his arse. New partner is so different. 😀

ScrambledSmegs · 09/09/2016 19:25

I haven't had my 40th birthday present from DH yet. It's been 3 months. He's waiting for 'the sales' apparently.

I did have an amazing party that he organised really wonderfully though so definitely don't feel hard done by. Just slightly confused at what the mystical sale is!

Flozle · 09/09/2016 19:26

buy not but. It's Friday, and I'm three glasses in...

Goingtobeawesome · 09/09/2016 19:27

hungryhippo why are you still with him? That's cruel. He knew what you'd think when he got down on one knee, with a jewelery box having spoken of getting engaged.

PurpleElsa · 09/09/2016 19:29

This thread also reminds me of when DH got really excited one Xmas and kept picking up this one present, which was from a family member, and trying to guess what it was. It was small, square and fairly heavy. Turned out to be a block of memo notepaper Grin

A few years later he did the same thing with another present from same family member. It was an egg slicer...he never learns!

ScrambledSmegs · 09/09/2016 19:34

Yes, hungryhippo what he did with the ring was intentionally cruel. It couldn't be anything else.

The handbag thing was arseholery too. You're worth so much more than the way this man treats you Thanks

MotherOfCats · 09/09/2016 19:34

It was my birthday last week and my DH bought me such delights as some magic beans (which did grow so are essentially a cup of soil), a car air freshener (Yankee candle but still...), some fancy salt, goggles and a swimming cap. I am not a lane swimmer, had 2 small children and there are no pools near us. I spent my birthday crying Sad

SamiBE · 09/09/2016 19:40

My friends husband got her shampoo, razors and chocolate for her birthday 😂

user1472391113 · 09/09/2016 19:44

So, why do you bother with men? They are all the same when it comes down to it. But the fact you have all these children suggests yoe have 'bothered'
for quite a few years.

Diel · 09/09/2016 19:46

My husband bought me RAC membership for my Christmas, on a 2 for 1 deal. So basically he added me as his free RAC cover. I couldn't drive at the time but he claimed it was to save me ever being stuck in someone else's broken down car. What did I get him? weekend away in a 5* lighthouse, work and babysitters all secretly arranged.

Send to this was the year I unwrapped a Manolo Blahnik shoe box, nearly peed myself, then opened it to find a shoehorn. A fancy shoehorn, but still......

Thebearsbunny · 09/09/2016 19:47

My ex bought me surround sound for our TV. He gave me it (unwrapped) a week before my birthday. He was very unhappy I wasn't thrilled.
A couple of years later for a milestone birthday I got nothing but a basic card. I asked him why, his explanation, you can't expect presents if you only work part time.....

50ShadesOfEarlGrey · 09/09/2016 19:49

I lived in an old cottage with ExDh, which we were doing up, and it was freezing cold. He had just earnt a LOT of money on an 8 week contract. He promised me something for the kitchen which would keep me warm anywhere in the house. We had agreed to an Aga, so I was convinced that was my present, I even asked him and he just gave a wry smile and said 'well , we will have to wait and see, but you won't be disappointed' The day arrived and I was given a smallish box, I thought it was a set of utensils or something vital for the forthcoming range. Instead it was a pair of 'Granny' slippers, the brown tartan ones which come up your ankles with white acrylic fleece inside, and a pom-pom on the front. I could cry all over again writing this, and it happened nearly 30 years ago. When I queried the relevance to the kitchen he said he thought they would look nice by the kitchen door! It was like a big neon sign flashing on about the state of our relationship and he went of and got himself a posh car, no discussion.

Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse · 09/09/2016 19:50

Hmmm, does sound bad but I would have preferred a small, unwrapped box of chocs to some of things I've had over the years: tea towels (not even Orla Kiely or Cath Kidston which might have helped), hangers (plain wooden, not padded and scented jic you think I was being ungrateful there) and last birthday a (admittedly rather well executed) Play Arts Kai model of Jon Snow from Game of Thrones, WTF? I don't even watch it!

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