To break 3 cups in anger?

[insideoutcake]

Today my two youngest have pushed me over the edge. The eldest went back to school yesterday and the
Middle returns Thursday. It's been a long hard summer keeping calm and following best parenting advice but this morning I truly blew up. After the middle one refused to stay on the time out step I screamed and threw 3 cups from the holder onto the floor. No kids were harmed physically but they all look a bit sheepish now and obviously think I'm a psycho. They're probably right.

Mumsnet has to go the way of a lynch mob after the publication of a paedophile address list in the News of the World circa 1994.

When there are posters implying that the children would be totally unaffected and fine by lunchtime, those of us who have been in the same sort of situation as the op are perfectly right to point out that that is not likely to be the case.

Get some help irl rather than post on mn.

Oh for fucks sake. Perhaps this was her way of trying to seek help? You going to roll out that line for everyone who comes to mumsnet for advice or to vent? I think the place will close down pretty sharpish if that's the attitude people have.

Good grief how horribly unsupportive and judgmental so many posters on this site are.
My interpretation (aged 50 parent of 3 noisy boys and 1 not noisy daughter - all now aged 18 to 23...) is that we are human NOT perfect robots and that subject to sufficient to pressure EVEN A SAINT will crack and crumble.
Dripping water will wear away granite!!

I feel sure that the OP wrote the post feeling full well that her behaviour was out of line. however much provoked. She needs gentle support and encouragement not this dire damnation!!

Purple I'm not sure that's true. I've seen both my parents lose it once. My mum smacked me once in her life and was gutted. My dad once went very ragey after my brother although he didn't hit him.

How I feel about these parents simply has nothing to do with these incidents. I am extremely close to my mum, call her every day, she's my number 1 supporter in life. Not close to my dad because he's a self-centred person, not because he got angry once or twice in childhood.

I don't think it's clear what the OP was seeking. I interpreted the angry face at being angry with herself. I don't think anyone who thought it was just fine and dandy to throw cups near their kids would post, would they?

Op, take this as your 'warning sign' that you are getting a bit lost and out of control with it all and then work out how to get yourself back again. The routine of school will help for a start. I find relaxation/mindfulness makes me less ragey. So does having older children, but you do have to wait a while (years) for this to work.

Advice has been given on the thread. Whether the OP posts again is entirely her decision. But hopefully she'll be big enough and brave enough to read the thread and take the advice on board.

How does everyone know it only happened once? Why does she deserve support anyway? Not everyone is deserving of a "there there, no harm done" response. What if one of the cups had hit her children? Could do next time. And i imagine there will be a next time.

People shouldn't need to be brave enough to come on a parenting site fgs.

I'm sorry but no one with half a brain cell in their head can think that starting a thread like is simply going to garner lots of 'ahh you poor thing' style responses

FGS.

I'm not sure the OP would know what to expect as she doesn't appear to have posted on MN before...

Isn't it just great that all the perfect parents in the country take time out from their busy days to shit on the unperfect!

The Op stated that it is the end of a long summer break where she has held it all together and the kids were driving her crazy. She didn't hit them, she didn't throw them into the coal cellar and bolt the door, she smashed a couple of mugs. And perhaps the kids got a valuable painless lesson in how normal human beings can be pushed too far?

No but perhaps they might have hoped it would attract some constructive advice and not a shit storm of people vying to be the one to put her in her place.

It did attract some constructive advice. And it has attracted plenty of supportive posts. The OP is an adult I'm sure she can cope with this thread.

People shouldn't need to be brave enough to come on a parenting site fgs.

But here, they do. I genuinely think that at least 15-20% of MN posters are single men festering away in their mother's spare rooms and trying to inflict as much emotional pain as they can on other mothers.

About a year ago something went wonky with the Daily Mail website while I was registered and everytime you tried to log in, you were given someone else's information. A good number of female named posters who wrote ditzy or inflammatory things (you could see their posts listed) had email addresses with male names in them. Bored MRAs who either wanted to make women look bad, or wanted to attack other women in that guise, i.e "I'm a woman which gives me added credibility and I think all women are terrible drivers teehee!"

Lets be honest it's not great. But it's not the end of the world. The op lost her temper. Some people may not admit it, but I will admit I have before.

And if you haven't I can bet your kids will still grow remembering something that you did that bothered or upset them.

Dhs dad once through the dinner he made at the wall after dh and his sister continued to moan after a hard day. But they adore him, he is a great dad and it was a one off. Made them realise they had been shits all day. When dh mentions it, its not a memory that scarred him. It's a memory of him not understanding how his behaviour impacted his dad.

It's a memory of him not understanding how his behaviour impacted his dad.

He thinks it was his fault for provoking him?

My dad once threw a bowl of soup against the wall. It was a one off but I just remember feeling terrified and I certainly don't look back on it in terms of me having pushed him to it. remember thinking it was a massively over the top reaction to whatever had been bothering him. I still think that now.

YABU
It scared the kids and it is not their fault if you get in a state whatever they have done or whatever your 'reasons'
You need to sort out why you get so angry.

I used to blow up after holding frustration in for long periods. I thought it was ok because it was everyone else causing me the anguish.
I was wrong.

He thinks it was his fault for provoking him?

No he understand that his dad is human and lost his temper after him and his sister were being particularly crappy.

And I am not talking just crappy. They were by their own admissions, total nightmares.

And of course their dad won't accept it was their fault in anyway, Totally his own.

It's a memory of him not understanding how his behaviour impacted his dad.

A fantastically scary sentence there.

OP, if your PMS is always this bad, have you spoken to your doctor? They can now prescribe low dose SSRIs specifically to deal with symptoms of PMS. This has helped me manage my emotions very subtly by just taking the edge off. Can't remember the last time I lost control of my temper and had a monthly shouting session.