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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want someone to back off,(OH)after I've repeatedly asked them !

80 replies

MisDescamisados · 04/09/2016 22:58

Short vent.
Man are so bloody fond of being in charge that they'll leap on anything and call it concern.

I have catarrh . Please don't suggest "cures" as a quick Google will inform you that for most of us , they are of little use .

Anyway, I cope with it. So I don't appreciate that "look" whenever I cough, because some idiot man - namely OH - saw a lung cancer infomercial.

I've never smoked , I'm not asthmatic, I'm never short of breath.....I just have year round allergies which generate snot, to be blunt .

But when I ask him to stop snooping around my health what do I get , from "Mr concerned "?
No a respectful " ok", but just a self exculpatory "it's just because I care".

No mate , you're taking charge , and I'm not a minor , so back off

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 04/09/2016 22:59

Should he not care about you?

Original poster
MisDescamisados · 04/09/2016 22:59

I'm well aware of symptoms and signs of pathologies, and I've none of them or predisposing factors. I'm so sick of being interrogated.

OP posts:
AverageGayLad · 04/09/2016 23:00

He just sounds like he's worried about you Confused

Do you expect him to stop caring cause you demand it?

WorraLiberty · 04/09/2016 23:02

I've just checked and as far as I can tell, my DH is still a man.

He's not particularly fond of taking charge.

Well no more than I am, anyway.

AverageGayLad · 04/09/2016 23:05

Worra I second him there Confused

MaddyHatter · 04/09/2016 23:05

i sympathise, i have the same problem.

i spend most of my time sniffing and blowing, i have a morning cough, i spend the first 2-3 hours of the day sneezeing with my nose running like a tap.

My sense of smell is shot.

luckily my DH has never felt the need to be a pain in the ass about it, other than handing me the tissues, a drink and my allergy meds!

Floopy21 · 04/09/2016 23:06

You sound annoying to live with.

MinonsMovie · 04/09/2016 23:07

YABU
Have you seen a doctor? If not then you should. You are a partnership. If dh is unwell I take acception to him not taking care of himself.
His health has consequences for our whole family, as does mine. We have a mutual responsibility to take care of ourselves and each other.

Original poster
MisDescamisados · 04/09/2016 23:07

@avaragegaylad.
I'm not demanking anything, I've ASKED months now , for him to stop .
It's hardly respectful of anyone to ignore their feelings , especially to carry on being so intrusive.
How would you like being ignored?

OP posts:
MaddyHatter · 04/09/2016 23:08

Average, there is not a need to worry when there is nothing wrong, catarrh is just bloody annoying.

it doesn't mean we have a cold
it doesn't mean we have asthma (i do, but its controlled)
it doesn't mean we have cancer because we cough.

if he's going on like the OP says, then he's being fucking annoying and it would do anyones head in.

The op is an adult, her DH should stop clucking.

MsVestibule · 04/09/2016 23:08

My DH isn't too keen on taking charge either, so don't think it's a man thing!!

Florene · 04/09/2016 23:09

I had something that sounds similar for months. Now use prescribed nasal spray daily and take cetirizine. Cough now gone. Worth a try?

Original poster
MisDescamisados · 04/09/2016 23:10

Minonsmovie. I've even had chest x rays on the paste. It's catarrh.
I'm a WEMT , ECP, BATLS tech and DMT, I have no predisposing factors or signs/symptoms and I've never smoked .
All CXRs have been clear. I'm a assic cases of ambulatory snot machine lol

(Though most of gaby was in the OP)

OP posts:
HateSummer · 04/09/2016 23:10

Maybe he's getting annoyed with the yucky coughing sounds? And he probably cares about his ears more than your health I bet but is being nice about it.

(Just another way to look at it Grin)

Original poster
MisDescamisados · 04/09/2016 23:10

In the past. Can't type
Soz

OP posts:
Original poster
MisDescamisados · 04/09/2016 23:11

Nor have I had any funny looking moles .

OP posts:
Arfarfanarf · 04/09/2016 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MisDescamisados · 04/09/2016 23:12

Hate phone keyboard and being unable to edit on MN

OP posts:
Original poster
MisDescamisados · 04/09/2016 23:13

Are. Lol, I see what you mean but he's just NOT listening.
It's like he had to be the boss of everyone .

OP posts:
MaddyHatter · 04/09/2016 23:13

Mis, why would any of that matter?

its only the sinuses mucous membranes being a little more active than needed?

What on earth would dodgy moles have to do with it?

Original poster
MisDescamisados · 04/09/2016 23:13

Arf , even . Bloody phone

OP posts:
MaddyHatter · 04/09/2016 23:14

Florene, i tried a couple of those.. they murdered my sense of smell, so i stopped.

its still not recovered properly!

Alibobbob · 04/09/2016 23:14

Just tell him it's an allergy. All checked out and nothing to worry about.

Arfarfanarf · 04/09/2016 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/09/2016 23:15

Whilst it may frustrate you, I do think he is trying to help. I would care more if my DP didn't show any interest at all. I don't know anything about the condition you have said but it's normal for people to be concerned about prolonged illness.

How does trying to make you feel better equate to him taking charge and treating you like a minor? Is this a small piece of a large puzzle that builds up to your annoyance?