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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If I ask my neighbors not to let their 2yo dd out into the garden naked anymore?

263 replies

Restingbuttface · 04/09/2016 19:01

My neighbors are lovely, but they often let their 2.5yo dd naked into the garden on a very regular basis. I have a 13 yo ds and it often embarrasses him and his friends especially when they are out playing in the garden. Do you think I should say something or just leave it? I personally am a bit paranoid about such things and I think if we can see her, who else could be intentionally looking. WIBU if I said something to them or should I leave them to it?

OP posts:
passmethewineplease · 05/09/2016 01:01

YABU, but I guess you have gathered that.

cocout why isn't it fine?

passmethewineplease · 05/09/2016 01:01

Sorry meant to say why isn't it ok?

Whereismumhiding2 · 05/09/2016 01:14

Restingbuttface

YWBU to say anything to neighbours about their little baby/ child playing naked innocently in their own garden.
I think you need to help your DS keep a sense of proportion.

Just step back and think about how "my teenage son gets embarassed seeing your naked baby in your garden, please put some clothes on her" would be taken by your neighbour?

She would worry that you were trying to tell her something about your DS, that you knew about him or your family, but weren't saying. She would likely repeat what you said to other neighbours/ school mum friends in the area, as it's so odd. People would start watching out for DS & his interactions with other children.

You could actually start a nasty rumour about your own DS by approaching your neighbour on this. So please don't do it for your DS's sake.

SharonBottsPoundOfGrapes · 05/09/2016 01:44

YABU but I get it about your son. I've always let my kids run around naked in the garden. I've got some very cute pictures of ds playing in the paddling pool in his birthday suit at the age of 2. He's 12 now and covers his eyes whenever he sees other naked bodies other than his family members. My neighbour brought her toddlers round to play in our inflatable pool and trampoline and he went inside when they stripped off. He's not a prude. He just thought he was doing the right thing. Dd who is 7 will play out in the garden naked if I let her but as she goes on the trampoline and our garden is overlooked by neighbours of various ages, beliefs and temperaments I make her put pants on at least. Last summer the neighbours two doors away were having a big party and dd was shouting hello to them with every bounce on the trampoline. There were some Hmm faces. :o

Outtaker · 05/09/2016 06:52

We all have different ways of parenting; you think is fine I don't.

Coconut I agree, we all have different styles of parenting. Why then are you advocating interfering in the Op's next door neighbour's style by advocating that the Op asks that she covers up her 2 yo, just because you wouldn't let your 2 yo run around naked?! Doesn't that seem hypocritical?

YelloDraw · 05/09/2016 07:28

Last summer the neighbours two doors away were having a big party and dd was shouting hello to them with every bounce on the trampoline.

I doubt the faces were from her nakedness,'ore from being seriously annoying to have a child peering in and shouting hello 'with every bounce'.

Kr1stina · 05/09/2016 07:45

YABVVU

I have a 12yo son and he wodut even notice a naked baby.

We don't have any next door but there were plenty on the beach and in the pool on holiday .

He was too busy playing with his mates , gelling his hair into exactly the right style and trying to look cool.

If you don't want to see into your neighbours garden I suggest you put up a new fence / screening / grow plants

nolongersurprised · 05/09/2016 07:55

OP - YABU for sexualising a toddler, who is happily doing her own toddler stuff in her own house. There should be nothing about a naked toddler, in her own garden that makes you feel uncomfortable.

I live in a street where there are loads of kids, of all ages. In summer it seems that half of them are always naked, and at each others' houses. The other half - the older kids - couldn't be less interested in what the younger kids are doing or what they are or aren't wearing.

Has your DS explained why a naked 2 year old makes him uncomfortable? Don't tell your neighbours your DS would prefer her to be clothed, they will wonder why.

LagunaBubbles · 05/09/2016 07:57

Coconut and the one other poster who doesn't think it's ok for a 2 year old to be naked in their own garden - you still haven't said why.

CoconutAndVanilla · 05/09/2016 10:00

LagunaBubbles - I did give my answer... Simple reason you never know who is watching.

Outtaker · 05/09/2016 10:31

Cocunut
If you make that judgement for your children, that's up to you.... Rather sad you feel the need to do this in my opinion, but your choice. But what gives you the right to demand others to do the same as you!

SharonBottsPoundOfGrapes · 05/09/2016 10:34

Yello they have kids who play out and bounce too. Sometimes in my garden. I'm sure they were reet. :o

redisthenewblack · 05/09/2016 10:52

ds asked me if I could have a word with neighbors as his friends are embarrassed when baby comes out. I said tell them not to look and told him not to look. He himself is ok as he's seen her many times and has not said anything. I do go about naked and he's not embarrassed

Well since the story has now changed and it's not your son who is embarrassed, I think I've solved the problem...

STOP THE FRIENDS COMING OVER!

You're welcome OP.

LagunaBubbles · 05/09/2016 10:53

LagunaBubbles - I did give my answer... Simple reason you never know who is watching

And?

Notso · 05/09/2016 10:59

I can remember feeling awkward when my younger sister and her best friend would be naked in the garden or in the house. I was about 12/13
I think its because at that time I was just embarrassed by my own body and being naked in front of anyone was unthinkable to me.

TBH now if I went into my garden and could see my neighbour hanging around naked, I'd probably be mortified and briskly go back inside to price up a higher fence.

Original poster
Restingbuttface · 05/09/2016 15:39

Redisthenew - story did not has not changed. I was asked for more detail and I gave it. I have said nothing different. Tbh I asked the question, expressed an opinion and got a whole raft of answers, opinions but mostly insults. I have had accusations on what my ds state of mind is short of calling him something terrible. There is no need for it.

Other mnetters have turned on other posters and all for expressing an opinion. Some have been truly awful.

This thread can rage on and on and the insults can continue to fly.......

OP posts:
redisthenewblack · 05/09/2016 16:18

But the story did change.

I have a 13 yo ds and it often embarrasses him and his friends quoted from your OP.

ds asked me if I could have a word with neighbors as his friends are embarrassed when baby comes out. I said tell them not to look and told him not to look. He himself is ok from another post.

If it's not your son who is embarrassed just don't let his friends who are embarrassed come round. It's easy to solve without having to have a ridiculous conversation with your neighbours about their baby playing in her own garden.

varvara · 05/09/2016 17:33

I think the OP is being unreasonable. But I rather think she gets the message now, after 10 pages. Why do people feel the need to continue to pile on and berate her? And the inferences about her son - WHO IS ALSO A CHILD - are disgusting.

I would have thought that anyone with half a brain would be able figure out that the current high profile that paedophilia has in the news and the understandable public disgust over these crimes could create an atmosphere of paranoia, particularly in a sensitive kid at an awkward and vulnerable age.

People have wondered at the state of mind of the OP and her son; I wonder at the state of mind of someone who enjoys piling on to give an anonymous stranger a virtual kicking.

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 05/09/2016 17:45

Did I read right op that you go about naked in front of your 13 year old son and he isn't embarrassed?

Tbh I think that's weird.

SoupDragon · 05/09/2016 18:04

He's embarrassed by a naked toddler but not by his naked mother? Confused

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 05/09/2016 18:09

Having (unfortunately) had experience of both, I would rather look at a naked toddler any day of the week than one's own parents. Envy

Inshock73 · 05/09/2016 18:09

YABVU! My DD is 16 months old and has spent most of the hot summer days naked in the garden! She LOVES being free of her nappy and I don't mind if she waters the garden plus she's been in and out of her paddling pool. My 13 year old niece and 16 year old nephew think nothing of it. I don't understand why your DS finds it so embarrassing. There's nothing sexual about a child so young being naked. Is nudity or body parts treated as something to be embarrassed by or ashamed of in your household?

Also it's in THEIR garden, if you stuck your neck over my fence and asked me to stop it you'd get told to stop watching MY child in MY garden and sod off!

Idliketobeabutterfly · 05/09/2016 18:12

Yabu.

AverysillyoldHector · 05/09/2016 18:24

This is the second GF thread in the last three days in which an OP has used a common phrase with a wrong first word . I noticed it on Saturday and its been used again today by a different OP. How strange....

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 05/09/2016 18:26

This is the second GF thread in the last three days in which an OP has used a common phrase with a wrong first word .

What's the phrase?

Swipe left for the next trending thread