To think some people just aren't suited or able to hold down a full time job?

[differentstrokes16]

I'm one of those people, sadly. Unemployable in terms of not able to last in a full time job. I have an autoimmune disorder, chronic fatigue and mental health issues. I work for myself now, take rest when I need to. Lack of adequate rest makes me feel like absolute shit and triggers my anxiety problems, and when prolonged I develop depression. I can't manage the expected hours of a full time job and take care of cooking and basic laundry. I don't even have kids to look after. This all makes me feel unbelievably pathetic.

So I work for myself, but am always skint and running out of savings. I'm at a bit of a loss to know what to do. There must be others in similar situations, who aren't able to work full time? What do they do? What's a good solution?

OP are you claiming all the benefits you are entitled to? If your health conditions are long term you could be entitled to PIP or ESA. Have a look here:

www.gov.uk/pip/overview
www.gov.uk/employment-support-allowance

My DD2, I'm hoping she will meet kind and empathetic people on her journey through life, she has quite enough on her plate already. Definite diagnosis of fibromyalgia, PCOS, endometriosis, and a tentative diagnosis of lupus and Hughes syndrome (sticky blood syndrome).

It's taken her 3 years to do her A levels, I am eternally grateful for the understanding and kindness her school has shown.

It depends. I have a relatively serious thyroid problem. I work for myself and can give myself downtime when I need it (which I couldn't as a City lawyer). But there are also a lot of pisstakers in this world - particularly in countries where benefits are relatively generous - and I expect that some of the more hostile responses on this thread are informed by the assumption or worry that you're a pisstaker.

You know yourself, your limits and your abilities OP.

If you don't think you are being unreasonable op (and I can see that you don't and fully understand why) - then why did you put this question in AIBU?

You could have posted a topic in work/employment or general health to ask your question about topping up a part time salary, or whatever it is you wanted to ask.

You aren't asking if you're being unreasonable, so why not find a better place for your thread?

Actually Runninglulu, are you suggesting that, using my example above - it would be better for me to suck it up and push myself through the seriously high blood sugars on a daily basis?

The result of that is long term damage from chronically high blood sugar. Meaning getting more ill, being less able to work, spending more time in hospital.

Diabetes doesn't really care if I want to martyr myself and push through it or not, I won't be exempt from the grim side effects because well y'know I worked full time.

It's actually more irresponsible socially to do as you suggest, ignore it and push on regardless.

You don't need to shout. You have put yourself in this position by asking for opinions on whether or not some people are unable to work full time.

So, yanbu.

Happy now?

I have depression and although I am working full time it's hard and draining. I spend weekends just desperate for sleep. For me the work is one thing but its the commute that is the real exhaustion factor. It's between an hour and 90 minutes each way. I am looking for jobs closer to home or trying to pursuade my employer to let me wfh one day a week. My department is the only one that doesn't currently allow this and I desperately wish it did.

Okay I'm going to step away. You clearly want people to agree with you, that's fine. I'm not going to be one of them.

I can work full-time, but only for short periods. I have CFS (which I'm in a mild stage of currently, touch wood) and anxiety and low level depression. I am also a single parent to a teenager with some ASD behaviours and extreme anxiety and no family support. I work as a supply teacher and I could work full-time as a teaching assistant, with careful planning and time management, but not as a full-time primary school teacher. I have been looking for a part-time teaching post for over 5 years, on and off, but I never get past the interview stage.

I seem to remember a similar thread years ago but the OP of that one was a special snowflake
You're in a very different position and if you aren't well enough to manage a standard office job and hours then that's just how it is. Not a question of reasonability.

I don't know why I posted here really, I mostly hang out on AIBU. Very tired today and brain isn't playing ball. Although also it is interesting to see the cross section of replies, rather than people who have specific interest in work issues and so go to that forum.

Anyway thank you for the replies.

I work 25 hours a week. initially due to small child but a godsend when I had severe health issues. I had some working capacity (just as long as I rested all evening) but not full time.

I'm fortunate that I was in a skilled professional job previously full time so my salary is good even for part time.

What are your skills op? I'd concentrate on trying to earn more an hour rather than upping hours which isn't realistic with a chronic condition. I know it is easier said than done but maybe someone in a similar line can assist with ideas eg a self employed friend switched from just graphic/website design to marketing aswell which pays more for same hours worked etc

I don't actually mind if people disagree! I just want to say how it is for me, that the basis of their disagreement doesn't hold water for someone in my position. It really is great if they have found a way round it for them, though.

I hope everyone dealing with health problems, physical mental or both, finds a way round it for them, too.

YDNBU. Not only are some people not suited to full-time work. Some people are not suited to work at all. Just like not all children are suited to school

PointyThings, I 100% agree that we need to broaden out ways of thinking about working and how to reach full productivity.

If you just want to say how it IS for you then you are not asking a question.

I have a massive amount of sympathy for you and the situation your health is placing you in - but I agree with bibbity - AIBU really isn't the place to post like this - people aren't going to help you with a solution, they're just going to jump on you and say YABU!

Do you have a partner or are you on your own? If the latter, then things must be even more difficult.

The only thing I could say would be that you should work for yourself - which you're already doing. On the financial side of things, to make sure you've checked that you're getting all the benefits you're entitled to.

Will read up but marking place. I had to give up teaching full time when I developed me/chronic fatigue and when I saw the title thought it would have some me/cfs sufferers in it. It sucks doesn't it?

My little one is starting school and I don't intend to find proper woke for a year and Im going to try and put into practice pacing/eating /gentle exercise to see if I can get a bit healthier.

I always feel guilty and v anxious about retirement etc.

My initial AIBU was thinking this, and thinking surely it IS reasonable to think there should be a better way of living.

No - what I mean when I say I want to say how it is for me, in my experience, is that when people offer sweeping statements about actually it's all just a matter of perseverence and pushing through the pain or fatigue - no, actually it is not. That is not a healthy, realistic or ethically sound thing for me to aim for. That's what I mean.

It does piss me off that some people just don't get that there are others who struggle to work full time. There is a culture these days that it is assumed you are lazy and feckless if you can't give 100% to a bloody job!
If you can't then you are not trying hard enough. You are being negative..etc etc!
Just because we have super women who work full time and have kids and claim they find it manageable does not mean everyone can.
I find it more difficult the older I get due to a few health issues and being told I am negative doesn't help!
I would love to have the energy levels to allow me to do everything but I don't.
The critics can Sod off.

Op, I completely agree with you. I have a chronic illness and there is no full time job that I can do that will allow me to take sufficient sick leave without being sacked very quickly. No employer is going to put up with someone who can physically only work half the time.

I need regular rests throughout the day and can't sit in the same position for too long without pain. I have great difficulty standing, walking, gripping things and can't drive any more. If I overdo things I end up in hospital. Strong painkillers make me feel sleepy and sick. My condition won't get any better.

I'd be very interested to know exactly what type of job some pp suggest for me so that I could work full time!

Yes BIWI, on my own. I enjoy being as self reliant as possible, but no doubt about it it would be easier to have a spouse to share some of life's hard work with!

Some people certainly have very specific requirements from their jobs in order to remain mentally and physically well.

My consultant has noted that I am unusual among people with my health problems in having full time employment, and has suggested that I might find it difficult to work elsewhere. He has strongly suggested that I should be very cautious in looking to move to another employer. I chose this job quite specifically, and had to wait quite a while before a role here came up. My colleagues are generally understanding, but sometimes get frustrated by my limitations.

Because I have full time employment, I have outsourced housework to a specialist cleaning company recommended on MN who work for people with disabilities. They are quite prepared, if necessary, to step in and do an emergency shop, but I try to make sure that I have emergency meals in the freezer that I can fall back on.

It doesn't stop me overdoing it sometimes, including yesterday, but I'm getting a lot better at recognising it and taking steps to recuperate.

I agree, in the same way that many children can't fit into and thrive in the inflexible mainstream school environment, many adults struggle with the full time work ethos and structure expected by society. If you can't you're labelled lazy and told to suck it up. Massively depressing.