Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have immediately replied to this text?

287 replies

Applesandpears86 · 02/09/2016 21:57

I live just down the road from one of my closer friends. She doesn't drive and we live about 3 miles from our city centre (about a 10 min drive because of traffic).

This evening I was finishing work when I got a text from her asking if I would give her and her friend a lift into town 'to save money on us paying for a cab.'

I have a 50 mile commute and happened to be coming out of a meeting in a city 70 miles away when I got the text. Needless to say I didn't reply as I just wanted to get home.

I've just received another sarcastic message telling me not to worry as she decided to fork out for the taxi in the end 'but thanks for the response'.

AIBU to think this was bloody cheeky in the first place and to therefore not have been so arsed about responding?!

OP posts:
mummylove2monsters · 04/09/2016 18:25

I had a friend just like this , would ask for lifts to the shops never offer a penny for fuel - I'd do it , maybe grab some bits too to kill 2 birds with 1 stone but then I'd somehow end up buying her and her kids a drink and snack / lunch - it wore thin and I started saying sorry I'm working or something like it - she fell out with me when My son refused to lend her son his brand new ( birthday £180 ) scooter to go to the skate park with - we are no longer friends - how people can be so blatantly like this is beyond me - I'm a mug for allowing it to go on for so long . I say tell her exactly how you feel - if she's a friend shel understand if she's not not a friend ..... You've lost nothing X

apivita · 04/09/2016 18:30

I had a friend like that before. Lots of trips to b&q and on the birth of their first child, dh had to drive from ours to theirs to hospital and back. And after she'd given birth, her dh rang and asked for a lift home (from a hospital 40 min away). And repeat the next day. And no thanks. No petrol money. Not friends anymore.

FlirtyFleabag · 04/09/2016 18:33

Original text extremely cheeky & subsequent text very rude, however, I would have responded before heading home but that's just me.

Let's be honest, a text response takes seconds, a reply of 'just about to drive 70 miles home after a meeting and have no plans to go out again tonight' would have sufficed.

FurryLippedSquid · 04/09/2016 18:42

Let's be honest, a text response takes seconds, a reply of 'just about to drive 70 miles home after a meeting and have no plans to go out again tonight' would have sufficed.

But that implies she would do it again if asked. Personally I would have ignored both texts and waited for the 'friend' to raise it with me and then would have said 'I thought that was a bit cheeky - I don't run a taxi service'. Either friend will apologise or get the huff. If the latter then you know you were only their friend for what they could get from you. Very, very rude.

lilypoppet · 04/09/2016 18:51

that's the sort of text I always pretend I didn't see in time

Tapandgo · 04/09/2016 18:53

This is no friend!
I'd let her know you've just read her messages - you are shocked and offended by them. Leave it at that as its up to her to apologise for mistaking you for a taxi - and assuming you would read texts while driving.
She sounds a piece of work.

Daydream007 · 04/09/2016 19:02

Damn bloody cheeky! Especially given the fact you have a long commute and drive as part of your job!

chicknquack · 04/09/2016 19:08

But that implies she would do it again if asked

I agree, as does the "I'm out of town" sort of replies. I wouldn't want to give the impression that I'd be happy to be someone's run around if I was in town.

lilypoppet · 04/09/2016 19:15

I have found some people don't like it when no is the answer. I have also been training my daughter that its ok to say no to some of her friend-s unreasonable requests

purplebunny2012 · 04/09/2016 19:36

Actually, as you hadn't started driving yet, I think a quick "Sorry, I'm 70 miles away right now" text would have been easy and sufficed.
Doesn't matter she's an entitled cow, you did see the text and it's taken me longer to write this than your reply would have done!

dollylovelace · 04/09/2016 19:45

Cheeky cow! I would have ignored it too in the hope she got the message. Did you text her back? ( may have missed this further up the thread!)

clarehhh · 04/09/2016 19:49

Not at all you aren't a cabbie.Only reasonable in emergency eg any chance of a lift to casualty.

RaspberryOverload · 04/09/2016 20:09

I agree that I'd have just skimmed texts an only replied to urgent ones, which this text wouldn't have been, for me.

Also agree that prefacing any reply with "sorry" implies I'd be happy to have done it otherwise. And no I wouldn't have been happy to ferry around someone I'm not related to for something I wasn't invited to.

Not sure what I'd have sent, but after the second text, it would have been along the lines of "I'm not a free taxi service, my car doesn't run on fresh air"

Sillybillybonker · 04/09/2016 20:24

Dump her!

Katherine2626 · 04/09/2016 20:27

Demanding and rude; you were under the impression that you were a friend, not a free taxi. So - she 'doesn't want to fork out', but seemingly you can, for petrol, wear and tear, and your time.

IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes · 04/09/2016 20:32

She's a cheeky bitch. LTB

elfies · 04/09/2016 20:37

Cheek pure and simple , Friends like that you can do without .

Aeroflotgirl · 04/09/2016 20:46

Op had every right to ignore that rude grabby text. Her 'friends' response was not what I expect of a good friend. I woukd let this one go.

Shortfatandangry · 04/09/2016 21:01

I probably wouldn't have responded to the 1st text, but I definitely would have to the 2nd!

'are you fucking serious?'

Heebiejeebies77 · 04/09/2016 23:22

Just be honest and say what you've said to us about the circumstances around why you didn't respond. Don't start with I'm sorry or anything though - your bud is a cheeky mama. Maybe you should also ask her why she felt the need to be sarky when she knows how far away you work and the likelihood you'd be too tired to respond straight away, or even if you would feel like giving her a lift after such a long commute. The phrasing of her original text is off. If she doesn't understand, she isn't a friend.

ManaFleet · 05/09/2016 03:18

I think there are two issues here:

Firstly, having a mobile phone is not a guarantee of 24 availability. If someone doesn't respond to a text or answer the phone, assume that they are doing something else. No explanation require! Not answering = busy, deal with it.

Secondly, the assumption that you will drive your friend and her friend to their night out. This is very fucking cheeky. Of course we do favours for our friends when we can, as they do favours for us. It's not obligatory though.

My conclusion is that she must've been drunk (or getting there). Big night out with a friend, had a few drink while getting ready, got a bit lairy. She most definitely owes you an apology, you do not owe her an explanation.

trafalgargal · 05/09/2016 04:11

My friends all know my motto is "My mobile is my servant I am not its slave" and I answer it if I'm not busy but I'm not constantly or instantly available to whoever is currently demanding a response.

TheDowagerCuntess · 05/09/2016 05:05

Normal, socially adept people, ask favours in a way that makes them seem grateful for whatever they're asking for.

The OP's friend clearly doesn't fall into this category, and in amazed that anyone (well, one person), is defending it.

A large everyone else has said, a response to say 'no can do' implies the request was reasonable and repeatable. It wasn't.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/09/2016 06:59

I would have replied to the second message, I am not your taxi service! Her texting at 12am to be collected from a club when your asleep, has she no shame. This is friend op, she is friends with your car.

Stars2theside · 05/09/2016 07:57

What a flipping cheek! I'd respond "when you're ready to be an adult again and apologise for your rudeness, feel free to text me"

Swipe left for the next trending thread