To not have immediately replied to this text?

[Applesandpears86]

I live just down the road from one of my closer friends. She doesn't drive and we live about 3 miles from our city centre (about a 10 min drive because of traffic).

This evening I was finishing work when I got a text from her asking if I would give her and her friend a lift into town 'to save money on us paying for a cab.'

I have a 50 mile commute and happened to be coming out of a meeting in a city 70 miles away when I got the text. Needless to say I didn't reply as I just wanted to get home.

I've just received another sarcastic message telling me not to worry as she decided to fork out for the taxi in the end 'but thanks for the response'.

AIBU to think this was bloody cheeky in the first place and to therefore not have been so arsed about responding?!

But a 4 word text would have made her life hugely easier and she wouldn't have had to give it a moment's headspace later.

She wasn't to know that at the time, was she? This is only taking up headspace now because of friend's subsequent rude text. How was OP to know that was how friend would behave? And even if she did have an inkling, why should she go out of her way just in order to stop her "friend" being rude to her?

" thanks for remembering I'm 70 miles away today you div and where was my invite anyway!"

Still not understanding what's so outrageous about suggesting that a brief reply saying no would have made the OP's life easier......

Loreli - I think that too. As an adult who doesn't drive I would never ask anyone for a lift unless it was an absolute medical emergency

"And even if she did have an inkling, why should she go out of her way just in order to stop her "friend" being rude to her?"
She wouldn't. She would have been saying no so that her friend could make alternative arrangements. And how the fuck is texting 4 words "going out of her way"???????

I would consider texting her back "going out of my text" on account of the cheeky as fuck remarks about the taxi.

Don't dignify her with a response

Adults who won't learn to drive and refuse to use public transport are such a pain in the arse, and generally a bit pathetic.

Here's the thing. I can drive, I don't begrudge giving lifts in emergencies, but I do begrudge being expected to ferry tight arsed over grown kids here there and everywhere.

I don't actually understand the insistence that four words have been necessary. As pointed out upthread, if she'd texted "Sorry, 70 miles away" that would have implied that she would have given the lift if she'd been at home and encouraged friend to make similar demands in future. So yes, she could just have texted "Sorry, no".

But, Bertrand, I just don't understand your difficulty with the concept that, after a long day's work - indeed at the end of a week's work - with a 70 mile journey ahead of you, you just skim through your messages and, if there's nothing urgent, put your phone down and forget about it. At that stage in my normal workday my brain tends to be fairly fried anyway and I just want to get home. I'd be quite annoyed by that message and, if I gave it any headspace at all, I'd probably think "Cheeky fucker, I'm not at her beck and call" and give no further thought to it. For all OP knew, by the time she saw the message friend would have gone for the taxi option anyway. You seem to be exercising 20:20 hindsight here.

She would have been saying no so that her friend could make alternative arrangements.

Friend would do that anyway if she didn't get a reply, and did. Ringing round taxi firms isn't exactly onerous.

I wouldn't have replied to the first text either.

Your 'friend' needs a taxi, she books a taxi.

I'd reply to say "I'm not a taxi".

Friend asks me a favour- I say yes or not. Then everyone knows where they stand. But then I don't think sending a brief text- two words if you like "sorry, can't" is particularly onerous or that asking for a lift is particularly offensive.

FFS. Asking for a lift isn't offensive. Asking for a lift for a night out to which the lift giver isn't invited purely so that you can use lift giver's time, energy and money to save yourself money is offensive.

The 1st text,perfectly fine.Its the arsey 2nd text that gets me.If she wanted an answer straight away,she could have rang her.

Bert, you seem to be deliberately missing the second part of the first text which is asking the OP for a lift into town for an evening out to which she is not invited, in order to save the friend and her mate a taxi fare. Personally, I would find that obnoxious from friend or foe. But then, clearly you take these things more philosophically than I would do.

And the issue isn't whether sending the text is onerous. The point is that it's perfectly excusable and natural not to reply immediately, and lift demander shouldn't assume that she will get a quick reply, let alone get sarky when she doesn't.

Friend asks me a favour- I say yes or not. Then everyone knows where they stand. But then I don't think sending a brief text- two words if you like "sorry, can't" is particularly onerous or that asking for a lift is particularly offensive.

Are you being deliberately disingenous?

'I think people are adding the emotive stuff about the night out to which the OP wasn't invited- the OP didn't mention anything like that........

And no I wouldn't be at all bothered by somebody asking for a lift to save the taxi fare.

You must be a very popular woman when people need something, Bertrand!

I also have no problem in saying no if I don't want to/can't.

Bertrand, I have to run some errands today, I don't drive. Do you seriously think it's okay for me to text a mate and say "can you run me into town to save me taxi/ bus fare?"

So op gave you heard from her today

can i have a lift then bert

Sorry, Bert, you're right about my having made assumptions about a night out without the OP having been invited (it's not in the OP's first post, certainly, so I must have imagined it). Still obnoxious on the part of the friend, though.