To start a TWELFTH thread that nobody responds to?

[AverageGayLad]

See that? A Twelfth. Not the.

Welcome to the twelfth (it DOES look a weird word ) thread that nobody responds to! We're a fun bunch, the most fun on mumsnet!! I cba to list everyone and who they are, but I'm sure newbies will get to know us through our posts A couple of quotes from posters, which will have to do as opposed to me writing a description of everyone:

I'd like the words mysterious, mystical and endowed with supetnatural powers after my name please, AGL. says Bettercallsaul1

MyDressIsInferiorBlue adds:
Get a battery operated rabbit they are less trouble than a man but can still thrust (and always on demand too, unlike a man)

AGL I'd like the words 'hot', 'intellectual' and 'witty' after my name, please. No 'flouncing', 'dunno' or 'Co-Op Boy' (the latter is well and truly over). says ItShouldHaveBeenJess, as well as being quoted telling us:
I'd be happy with a thrust. Just one.

Let the insane posts, photos and pouting begin!

Morning all,

He sounds 'orrible portia - hopefully you are happier without him.

Aww a blue one umbongo.... I have heard safety goggles and the reactions of a ninja.....though tbh a little girl baby with a nasty tummy bug and a new carpet required the same....

Cake for breakfast vanilla?. S'pose I'd better stick to porridge ......and coffee - massive coffee .

They will want you in the property I think AGL, they won't want it left empty and will want income from whoever is paying the rent....not to mention their Agency fees. You will have a contract to sign - and they may run references and credit checks if that bit hasn't been done yet. Won't be long though and you can relax in your sexy new pad!.

Good morning my beautiful lot! I fell asleep before saying good night. I feel awful!

But it's Friday Friday! Horta get down on Friday! and nearly the weekend so I will be more available to talk to you all! Except the PILs are coming tonight and staying till tomorrow. I love them but they insist on hugging me continuously. Gah!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/2722332-Old-self-harm-scars-on-nanny

You lot might be able to help with this one.

Oh and we are nearly half way through. :D

Being - suggestion for avoidance of invasion of personal space....norovirus extremely contagious......could your household have recently had a bout, and no physical contact advised?......(current personal experience!)

peach I like your thinking. Even something as simple as I think I might have lice. That could work. I do work in a school after all. Must learn some quick up dos over the weekend to avoid the dreaded beasts.

Also love a yule log!!

Jet is it wrong that I think xmas poo when I hear Yule log ??? 🙈😂🙈🎄💩

Being ... how about you develop an unpleasant skin disease? Just temporary. ..... oh, I've got a good idea...... you've just had a new tattoo done so no one can touch you as it hurts your skin. Then get your DC to draw over you in biro as "proof"

Mr Hanky.

Hi de Hi!!!!!

Morning Radio 2 now !!!!

ha ha ha

Morning all!

Being Your in-laws sound lovely! Can I swap them for mine? (in fact, you can just have mine. Nothing required in return.)

jet That looks amazing! Is that the M and S version? I think I bought that one for a party last year and it was divine!

peach Morning doppelgänger!

And a very good morning to you Better and everyone

How was Aidey Babey this morning?

Stripes whatever do you mean by this moves too fast? You're a racing Zebra. You should be leaving us in the dust.

Good morning all!

Portia. Lovely pic. Swap 'stoner' for 'alky' in your description of your ex, and we're on the same page.

Mummy coming over in a bit with niecicles. Should I clean or just let her do it she will anyway

Jess obviously Mums have degrees in hoovering so let her do it. Sorry your ex was a stoner I forgot to add brave to my descriptive post. So bloody brave he broke my arm in front of his child.
Castration and ensuing death by bollock loss is the answer!!!!!

portia. That's bloody awful. You are the brave one. Bless you (big hug)

Yeah, I'll let Mummy Hoover. She seems to like it (weird)

My exH is a complete cNt. I want to get DS to wee into a bottle so that I can pour the contents through his letter box. AIBU?

vanilla. YANBU. Do it.

One needs coffee

Vanilla YABVVU you should push a polished dog turd through his letter box in a poo bag obviously!

Completely reasonable vanilla

I'd better do some work but here's a pressie for you all. Be back later.