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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to allow my DD to go to the Notting Hill Carnival?

243 replies

haventkilledtheorchidyet · 28/08/2016 20:04

DD (14) wants to go to the NHC. She is quite streetwise and will be going with a couple of friends. AIBU to let her?

OP posts:
CathFromCooberPedy · 28/08/2016 22:53

I went my first year in London, on the Monday, and it was fucking horrible. Also a seasoned traveller, been to plenty of dodgy places etc etc. NHC, never again.

And l said to dh the poor locals!

AnUtterIdiot · 28/08/2016 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DiegeticMuch · 28/08/2016 23:16

I know a Met police officer who works it (or tries to, most of those people refuse to be policed and won't police themselves). It's awful, and should have been stopped for good years ago. She should stay away.

Crocodillian · 28/08/2016 23:20

I just got home from carnival with my 2 dcs. It was a nice day for us and we met up with family and friends whilst there.
I've attended children's day from when I was little and then moved to the area in my 20s. I lived on the carnival route for 8 years until we left London, and attended both days every year during that time, as did dc from when he was a baby, because we could easily move from the front steps and go indoors and so never felt unsafe.
Most of my friends and family attend both days and stick to certain streets or are actually part of certain floats. From the kids to the grandparents in their 70s, everyone's out. We know a lot of people who are resident nearby so we drive in and park up early, and then leave early. So we're avoiding dusk and we're avoiding the huge crowds leaving. Knowing people also gives a very different vibe on both days, it's more a family vibe and I've never felt unsafe. But I am always aware that there are incidents every year.
To travel by public transport at 14 on the Monday might be a bit much, especially for someone who's never been. I have only had to do it once by public transport about ten years ago and it wasn't scary, it's just very busy and a lot of shoving. I've been pushed more in rush hour trying to get to work though. Grin
The Monday is busier, today was busy enough. It's very likely that your dd could go and have a great time and it'd be uneventful in the sense that even if there are incidents reported on the news your dd may come home completely unaware of them. But you would be very worried the whole time Im sure.
The trouble, from what I've seen, often happens at dusk, but can happen at any time as some people are drinking and some people just go to cause trouble. On the whole it's a great crowd but it's noisy, the streets are packed and all look the same if you dont know the area and get separated from your group.
As someone who loves carnival and has had my dc down there year on year I won't be letting my ds go on his own when he reaches 14. Maybe at 15 for a couple of hours on the Sunday afteenoon or in the morning for juve if he's with his cousins that also know the area, but he'd have to go home early or meet up with the adults.
As pps have said, could you go with dd tomorrow or go Sunday 2017 and assess for yourself?

Doggity · 28/08/2016 23:30

Part of the issue is that due to crowds and if you don't know the area well, you can easily end up in the dodgy parts.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 28/08/2016 23:32

dailym.ai/2bJFNtb

WorraLiberty · 28/08/2016 23:33

5 people stabbed now.

liletsthepink · 28/08/2016 23:36

Not at 14, she's too young no matter how streetwise she is or you think she is. Nothing can prepare you for the crowds, the crime and the number of drunk/dodgy people there.

WorraLiberty · 28/08/2016 23:39

Ewww at this photo from Twitter.

This is another reason my BIL and SIL are glad they finally moved away.

to allow my DD to go to the Notting Hill Carnival?
Karoleann · 28/08/2016 23:40

I was worried about my 28 yo au pair going tomorrow and suggested she went today instead. We've been several years, but it really doesn't feel safe on the Monday.

Alconleigh · 28/08/2016 23:52

I've lived in London a long time and wouldn't go near it even when I was young and laid back. Rough as fuck.

Dillite2 · 28/08/2016 23:54

Can I ask why NHC is how it is? I have never been but from what I have been told/ seen in the papers it looks like hell on earth.

WorraLiberty · 28/08/2016 23:59

It is how it is because it's got too big Dillite2

It started out 50 years ago as a relatively small event. Now it has an average of 2 million people attending over the 2 day event, in a residential area.

Locals have been asking for donkey's years for the route to be changed, due to the sheer amount of people and the ridiculously loud music.

My BIL and SIL used to stay with us over the bank holiday weekend, after my niece was born because the base used to beat in their chests, as they sat in their flat.

The year before last they returned home to find they had been burgled, just like they were 3 years before.

eternalopt · 29/08/2016 00:03

YABVU! There's no way i'd want to go, and I've travelled extensively in my own and consider myself pretty savvy, and I'm much older, but being short I wouldn't see anything but other people's chests in a crowd, and being female, I'd just be a target for groping and grinding. Boak. Notting Hill Carnival: Man In Critical Condition After One Of Four Stabbings - Sky News
apple.news/A5lc4NoC4TM-SR2hKVTlHHw

Hotlingbling · 29/08/2016 00:06

I met my husband at carnival when I was 16. I now live in the area so I'm there every year. Im one of the flats with sign saying "toilet £2". People that live in the area hate it but put up with it.
All I see is people taking drugs, non-stop in the steet. It is not the place for a 14 year old.
I am a bit of a hypocrite though as I did go when I was 14 and got chatted up by people on their 20's who didn't care about my age.
It depends on the awareness of your daughter and who she is going with. Monday is crazy crazy by the way.

Queenbean · 29/08/2016 00:17

I have been several times and loved it. The atmosphere has been really friendly and I've never felt under threat. That said, I've only been during the day and kept the the main routes then wandered off to the quiet side streets to eat / drink if it's too busy.

The best time was when I dated a Jamaican man and he took me along - he knew the very best places to go and we had an absolute blast.

That's just my personal view for balance, reading many of the comments upthread it seems like my positive experience is rare here (although most of the people that go presumably have a good time to get such high repeat figures). I wouldn't let a 14 year old go though, just in case it did turn quickly.

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2016 00:24

I'm not sure if it's rare Queenbean

I think it's important to remember that there are around 2 million people visiting over the weekend, but most people will post about their bad experiences as it sticks in the mind.

Also, because the OP is asking about allowing her 14yr old DD to go, the answers will be a lot more about being cautious.

I do genuinely feel for the residents though and think the carnival should have been re-routed long ago.

Queenbean · 29/08/2016 00:32

Well it's rare on this thread, but presumably not for many of the repeat attendees

I agree not suitable for a 14 year old. And I know people on the route who seem to get broken in to most carnival weekends.

What is it about this one particularly that attracts so much trouble? Are there lots of gangs in the area?

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2016 00:35

There are gangs all over London and carnival attracts them to the area, so I guess that's why there's so much trouble/stabbings.

I've a feeling tomorrow will be much worse, due to the fact today was 'children's day', where traditionally there's less trouble.

rubbishbin · 29/08/2016 00:40

I can see why she wants to go. It must look exciting to a teenager!

Sadly, I'd also say no, and maybe show her some of these posts to explain why.

Gracey1231 · 29/08/2016 00:45

I had lots of independence growing up as my parents didn't want me to be sheltered and rebel.

However, I wouldn't have been allowed to NHC at 14 alone and I was very very very streetwise at that age! I wasn't allowed to attend the Manchester carnival purely because of the fact that there is a lot of violence and robbery, I wouldn't want to think of a 14 year old in a bad situation like that :(

OfaFrenchmind2 · 29/08/2016 00:51

Tough call. This event is very joyful and fun. However, i was also pickpocketed and overwhelmed by the crowd, and i was quite older than 14.
But I would have thought monday was the children parade, shouldn't it be tamer and safer than Sunday?

OfaFrenchmind2 · 29/08/2016 00:52

Ah, apparently not. My bad.

yoowhoo · 29/08/2016 01:01

Worra have your siblings moved now? I didn't even realise Notting Hill Carnival was such a big thing but then I don't live in London. But reading this thread has made me so uneasy. How fan people find this enjoyable? I know everyone is posting about their bad experiences, but it just sounds so awful. I would be so scared if I was a resident. I would not be able to sleep the whole weekend worrying I was going to be burgled :( so scary

IceMaiden73 · 29/08/2016 01:13

I went with my boyfriend and his friend when I was mid 20's and it was terrifying

I was felt up by random strangers more times than I would like to remember

We ended up taking a wrong turn and in a very unfriendly environment down a dead end road that we had to run to get out of

We lost our friend

When we tried to leave the tube we needed was closed. We tried to the next stop, this took ages and the queues were horrendous. In the end some lovely men let me jump over the fence in front of them to get me out of the crowds

It was an experience, but never again