To hate the label 'full time mummy'

[ilovenautical]

Have 0 tolerance for mums that put down working mums & label themselves full time mummy's - seriously?! Does that mean working mums are part time? So when we drop child off to day care/family/CM we are no longer parents? We no longer think about DC and if they were unwell we would just wait till non working hours to see them? Grrrr infuriates me!! am I the only one?

Fret tbf your post could be applied to you and you did imply they wasn't.

Full time mummy
Yummy mummy
Jenny 'Lucy's mummy' Smith

It's all a bit meh!

shivering lots of working parents don't use child care.

Also, there are lots of things that are included in parenting that you do when your DC are not even there.

Parenting is about so much more than changing nappies and washing clothes. And as a parent you continue to do those things when your DC are in school/with their nan/out with their mates.

I have not seen my DC since Thursday, but I've done all manner of parenting tasks.

Go and sit outside for a while.

shivering so what about when your kids are in school? Will you not be a parent then?

My husband is always a father but he's not full time, I am.

FRET
I certainly don't think I'm a better role model because I work and, in response to your beautifully crafted and patronising comment, I'm perfectly secure in my life and my choices!
I've been a SAHM, worked full and part time in the years I've been a mum and chose what felt right at the right time. I am quite happy to say I've got no regrets about these choices but I hate the idea that people are feeling like crap about their decisions because of stuck up and patronising mn bullshit.

Are you also not a parent when your DC visit family or NRP?

I'm shocked at the negativity towards working mothers by other women. In a SAHM myself and it's pretty shit to see.

I am perfectly happy with being a part time parent

Hence why when this one plops out I'll be back to work asap!

Fret that's your opinion - which I believe to be wrong, hey ho. Do do you believe yourself to be a single parent when he is at work?

I think it depends on what job you do and how many kids you have.

Perhaps it's easier for you to stay at home because you find your job challenging or too dull.

I have many children, my oldest has aspergers and so going to work would really be letting him down when I have a pretty decent life without working. He needs me before and after school.

I made my choices a long time ago, they weren't 100% free choices but the worked in my favour (and my children's in our situation) anyway.

I've read threads about this for at least a decade on MN. It boils down to people who are happy with their choices don't denigrate others.

YABU what would you rather they called themselves? in terms of doing it as a job yes they are full time mums and working mums work as mums part time along side their work! We all ARE mums 24/7 of course as thats what we are, but in terms of doing the day to day work associated with it, some mothers are looking after their kids all day every day and some are also doing other work during that time. Why does it need to be a slur? I have every respect for working mums and certainly dont think it makes them lesser mothers or any bollocks like that. Being a part time stay at home mother is no more of a slur than saying someone works part time at a job. Its just a description of what you are doing during the day. I mean i call myself a stay at home parent rather than a full time mummy because i do think it sounds weird but i certainly dont see it as a slur on working mums!!!

Everyone with a child is a parent, we are talking about the term full time and what the broad understanding of that is. Most people assume it to mean you stay at home to look after your children and don't employ someone else to do it. Some working mothers get their knickers in a twist for a myriad of reasons, but rarely is it because they feel that someone description of themselves is somehow a dig at working parents which it rarely is.

fret you need to read your own posts back because they actually apply to what your saying about working parents.

So when your kids are in school are you not their parent? Are you classed as a single parent when your Dh is in work?

Maybe because it sounds like you have a lot on your hands you feel like your Dh is a part time parent?

Damned phone. I don't think anyone that describes themselves as a full time parent is saying that working parents aren't parents when they're working

. Most people assume it to mean you stay at home to look after your children and don't employ someone else to do it

Honestly only ever come across this on MN (and my neighbour who I suspect is a MNer)

Mothers shouldnt be ganging up on each other like this. Its no walk in the par either way. Staying at home has its hardships, some people have sacrificed a lot to stay at home and some people have had no choice but to and equally some women have had no choice but to go back to work and some women are very career driven and talented and need to be out in the world of work. And yes we are all mothers 24/7 but what do you want women who stay at home to call themselves? Unemployed... because they are not unemployed and calling them that is incredibly offensive and holds all women back imo. Its just adding to that thing where womens work is incredibly undervalued and invisible, both inside and outside the home.

You have though fret read though your posts and look at the language you have used. I can see why working mothers could find that inflammatory

These threads always kick off spectactularly

IMO 95% of women don't have a choice - they have to go out it work to feed/cloth/provide roof for family OR they have to stay home because childcare so expensive / jobs not available / no one else to provide care / other reasons

If someone is fortunate enough to have a true CHOICE as to whether to stay home or work outside home, fabulous (I'm jealous)

So the real issue for me is that we should all be joining together (sahm/wohm/other variations) to ensure all women have choices based on their own families individual needs

I have no time for women judging each other based on their own view of another persons circumstances

Spies.

Whether women work or don't there are some of us on both sides that are either forced into the role or perfectly happy to be there.

It's not patronising. It's true.

Divisive bullshit threads like this aren't helpful to anyone.

Nice post hedgehog

shivering thats bullshit. when i am at work and my kids are at school or in childcare i am often actvely parenting. Chatting to eldest on whatsapp to see how his day was, ordering things online that they need, shoes, clothes etc. marking a revsion paper one of them has done to go over later that evening, going to the pharmacy at lunch time to pick up a prescription for one of them. Researching a medical condition one of them has, sewing labels and badges on the clothes on the train. Emailing the school about their trips or homework. Arranging playsdates with other parents, some.also at work.The list is endless and incredibly varied. I am no less being a parent full time than someone who might be in the same house as their kids reading a magazine while they watch tv or play in the garden.

Full time mum
Full time parent
Sahm
Sahp
Wohm
Wohp

Whatever people call themselves if you are a parent it's a ft job. Whatever you do alongside that.

If only take offence if someone aimed it at me as an insult or judgement.

Most hypocrital back peddling award goes to Fret!!

I agree with your whole post oldguard

Nina.

I think you're reading offence where there is none.

If you place your child in nursery you are paying someone else to look after them. Not raise them, but parent operandi or whatever the Latin thing is.