To hate the label 'full time mummy'

[ilovenautical]

Have 0 tolerance for mums that put down working mums & label themselves full time mummy's - seriously?! Does that mean working mums are part time? So when we drop child off to day care/family/CM we are no longer parents? We no longer think about DC and if they were unwell we would just wait till non working hours to see them? Grrrr infuriates me!! am I the only one?

I have too many friends who stayed at home but 5 or 6 years later are doing jobs way below their skills and education level just because they stepped off the ladder for a while.

That's assuming they actually want to be on the ladder. The beauty of extended mat leave for me was to put my 'career' into perspective. And to look at the impact of my DM's career-focus on me as a child and herself in later years.

Wellywife- MN has regular posts from women who are keen to get back into the workplace, and are struggling, or having to resort to low paid low status jobs. And in RL (I teach) I see dozens of women in the lowest paid jobs in the whole organisation who are very capable intelligent women who are struggling to get more stimulating or better paid work. For heavens sake our entire LSA team is staffed by graduates and the pay is a pittance; a couple are even trained teachers but have struggled with returning into work at a higher level, either due to skills being outdated or lack of confidence.

It's not really about perspective- of course my family is far more important to me than my career. But nevertheless my career is an aspect of who I am and it's a scandal that so many women - and it is women- are consigned to jobs well below their capabilities

As someone who used this term for the first couple of year i can say 100% it was just to explain that I don't do any kind of paid work with my time. Absolutely no-one that uses it is implying that working parents don't have their kids full time.

Get a bloody grip. It's just a "cute" cringey turn of phrase.

Of course, if you don't want/need a career then that's fine. But many people, particularly if they have years of training and experience behind them, do

And I'm aware that the children we're raising now are likely to have far longer working lives than us- probably until they're 70 or more- so it's important to have these discussions. I would hate to feel that my Dd sees her future, particularly after she's spent a fortune on uni fees, as inevitably being a short lived career followed by years and years of working below her capability

Bit ultra sensitive.

When someone says this I presume they mean without a break I.e overnight.

I am a SAHM and do not envy those who work and look after kids so doubt it's an insult - I know it isn't in my case.

I think your offended over nothing and think you being offended by it says more about what your insecurities are. I personally hate yummy mummy especially when the photographer printed it on the back of my keyring eugh!

I love being a full time mother, it says I don't do paid work but care for my children instead.

The fact you dislike the phrase says more about you than anyone else.

I've never been a SAHM and it doesn't matter to me what other mothers call themselves. Still a mother at the end of it

"have seen old friends and acquaintances on social media put "full time mummy - I couldn't just dump/Palm my kids off"

People who make comments like that, putting down other people's choices, are normally doing it because they feel insecure about their own choices and are trying to justify (to themselves and to others) the decisions they have made. Therefore they can be safely ignored!

People get too hung up about petty things. Why would anyone want to have a dig at a parent that works hard and has kids?

I get that the phrase 'full time mum' is a bit misworded because we're all mums all of the time and that doesn't stop due to work but I think it's looking so deep into it to say it's a dig.

FRETGNIKCUF
I'm a full time mother too even though I have a paid job. I care for them all the time too by the fact I provide for them and the simple fact they are always my children and I do my best for them all the time.
You're a SAHM and I'm not- but you're no more a full time mother than I am IMO.

Munster. I was just saying that you shouldn't assume that everyone wants to be back on the treadmill.

I suppose I was lucky that I received a phone call to go back to a similar role to pre DC but said no. All the things that had seemed so important at one point in my life really weren't anymore. Overseas meetings and conferences that meant I missed birthdays.

Don't assume everyone in what you see as a lowly job hasn't specifically chosen it.

I wasn't assuming it. I actually stated that not everyone wants a career

Ok. Missed that bit!

I agree, when you are a parent, you are a full time mum or dad. Stay at home mum/dad, yes because that is what I am, I stay at home and look after the kids whilst dh works.

I love being a full time mother, it says I don't do paid work but care for my children instead

Fret but you would be a full time mother even if you worked. You can't stop being done ones mother if you go to work for a few hours. Does that mean while your kids are in school your not there mother till they return

I've been on both sides of the fence and now being a SAHM is very much easier, although I'm planning on returning to work soon just for my sanity! God help me then!

Welly wife sorry, I should have been clearer. My friends talk about being bored in their jobs and missing the 'challenge' of their old career. So in the cases I know it is a shame. I appreciate that some people will enjoy the easier job. Even then though I wonder if that will always stand and they won't find themselves with kids at uni and 15 years of work ahead in a job they don't get a lot of satisfaction from?

My Dh is a full time father - he works six days a week building our buisness so he can provide for our DC.

My kids are not fatherless and I'm not classed as a SP when he is in work. Some of these replies are getting bloody weird!

Get a fucking grip.

Yes, I was also referring to people I know personally, eg some of the very highly qualified and capable LSAs / School meal supervisors where I work who I talk to in RL, who tell me they feel underemployed and underused and are fed up of the low wages, but are struggling to get back to other work. Equally there are some of them who are very happy to have a low stress, easier job for the moment. But it's tough for the women who want something more. And I think that's worthy of discussion

I am a full time mum. I parent full time - that's 100% of the time needed, which is 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

If you work, you do not parent your child 100% of the time needed. You pay someone else to look after your child while you are elsewhere. Therefore you do not parent full time. Of course you are a mum, you love your child, but you are not actively parenting them in this time. You are parenting them part of the time. Part time.

If that makes you feel guilty then fine but it is actually just the facts. I don't get defensive and guilty because you work outside the home full or part time, so don't get defensive at me because I'm a full time mum. Don't claim you are a full time mum when, quite frankly, you are not.

I think it's quite funny how uppity mothers get about sll of this.

I don't care if a working mother thinks she's a better role model, it doesn't have impact on how I perceive my choices.

I think people who are secure with their choices understand that the term full time mummy doesn't mean working mothers aren't mummies 24/7 too.

Only on Mumsnet.

Zero tolerance .... Bwah ha ha haaaaaaa