To hate the label 'full time mummy'

[ilovenautical]

Have 0 tolerance for mums that put down working mums & label themselves full time mummy's - seriously?! Does that mean working mums are part time? So when we drop child off to day care/family/CM we are no longer parents? We no longer think about DC and if they were unwell we would just wait till non working hours to see them? Grrrr infuriates me!! am I the only one?

But if I was childless and I had no job because I couldn't be bothered working I would be called unemployed , wouldn't I?

If you could afford to survive without working then I wouldn't call you unemployed.

But if I was childless and I had no job because I couldn't be bothered working I would be called unemployed , wouldn't I?

But with SAHPs it isn't that they "can't be bothered working", is it? They're providing childcare, making it possible for at least one parent to be working out of the home. For many low-income families with no family nearby to provide childcare, that's the reality - one parent has no choice but to be a stay at home parent because of the astronomical costs of childcare.

I wasn't saying that a SAHP is necessarily unemployed but just the point that part of the definition of being unemployed is that you have to be seeking employment. I think that there are people that we would class as unemployed who have no intention of working.

I am a SAHP because I can't be bothered working. Obviously not the same for all SAHP but I don't think I am the only one.

The situation you described is classed as economically inactive. To be classed as unemployed you have to be seeking work.

There will be those claiming to be unemployed and seeking employment who are actually not interested in working BUT generally speaking if you can afford to not work you're a lady of leisure / kept woman / heiress etc

This thread has been done a fair few times on mumsnet.
It always leads to people saying wohm are farming their kids out.
Sah are unemployed and lazy.
Wohm do everything a Sah does and also works full time. (Correction think we got away with that one this time)
A few comments for what they are worth from a virtual Sah.
I don't thi k many employees would be pleased their employees were what's apping their teen during working hours so I hope that was in your lunch break.
Another poster who said working was much harder commented on already being tired due to poor sleeping little ones. Well hopefully if both parties work this task should be shared.
As a virtual Sah I have no-one to share these tasks with. Dh health is deteriorating but in truth he did precious little before. So although on here I am a virtual Sah and in real life I do abut of Avon alongside looking after DC I am in effect a full time parent. Yes I am lucky not to have the stress of providing financially but my work enables dh to earn. Yet his work is 9,to 6 with paid holiday and weekends off. My working /parenting is far longer.

Actually I can't afford to work. Childcare x 3 plus help with housework etc would be more than I could earn. Plus I would still be doing all the night wakings.

unemployed
/ˌʌnɪmˈplɔɪd/
adjective
1.
without remunerative employment; out of work
(as collective noun; preceded by the): the unemployed

Straight from dictionary.com.

I don't see anyone suggesting that unemployed means you can't be bothered? You are working. SAHP are far from lazy and take it from me you people have the patience of saints, spending all day every day with your kids, often without any adult conversation. But working and employed are two different things. Maybe I'm just dense but I can't see why anyone would consider being a parent as employment.

I take unemployed to mean actively seeking work. Plus claiming jsa. I do neither.

I don't see being s SAHP as a job. I don't have the patience of a saint either. You don't become a paragon of virtue the moment you give birth and give up work.

I don't think it's a job but I also don't think it's "unemployed". I would say that someone unemployed is someone seeking work - on almost all forms I've seen, there's an option for "unemployed" and an option for "homemaker" or "stay at home parent" or some similar description.

I think there's a big stigma associated with the term "unemployed" which may be why people try to shy away from it.

I see about a dozen people have beaten me to the explanation that economically inactive isn't the same as unemployed. The technical term for people who have given up looking is discouraged workers, while people working below their skill level are underemployed. People who can't be bothered fall under economically inactive, I think.

Anyway, I wanted to add that I was forced to put economically inactive as a tick box choice on a government survey once and my goodness the respondents were insulted by it! Understandable as some of them were harried and busy, just not getting paid for it.

I think people should be able to use whatever term they like to describe their position.

I think someone's comment upstream is so true where the poster said:
"In general I think people who get so ultra defensive are not 100% happy with their choices or the way they think other people perceive them"
As women we feel like we are being judged if we work full time and judged if we are SAHP.
At the end of the day, it's impossible to know everyone's personal circumstances and reasons for doing what they do. So let's stop the derogotory comments and show a bit of kindness and empathy to one another.

The definition of employed is having a paid job. Saying a stay at home parent is unemployed is correct. It is not minimising what they do it’s just the right meaning of the word. Personally I don’t like the term full time mummy. I prefer stay at home parent and I wouldn’t list it as a “job” but by no means do I think sahp have it easier or that what they do is not valuable. Women get enough rubbish thrown at them through pregnancy and raising children so comments like “some mums actually have a job” or the flip of “why have children to pay someone else to raise them?” are just uncalled for!

You're on one today @atrophywife

@ilovenautical

YABU. What a daft thing to get wound up about!

Oh! Fucking ZOMBIE thread!

I am sure they are not dling it to out working parents down. It is just a way of ssying tbey don't wirk outside of the home.

Absolutely hate it 🤣🤣🤣
I'm on Maternity Leave, so I guess that makes me a "Temp Full Time Mummy"
🤦🏽‍♀️

Some people really get incensed by the smallest thing these days and look for offence when there is none intended. Why be bothered if other women label themselves as a full time mummy? it's not a slur on you if you go out to work! And why look down on each other because you choose to stay at home or go to work? You make the decisions to suit your circumstances. One thing that is annoying is being classed as unemployed, lazy & workshy if you are a sahm or in my case now my dc are grown up a housewife.
"some of us ACTUALLY get paid for working a job" implies we are lazy/unemployed if we don't go out to work. Dh works hard & I stay at home still. My jobs are housekeeper/cook/admin manager & my wages are a roof over my head & access to dh money. Live & let live & stop getting wound up by such trivial things!

My job involves working with parents of young children and when I have to ask about their occupation I say, “Do you work or do you stay at home with the children?”

It doesn’t seem to have caused any offence as yet although it has led to some responses of “Yes, I’m a full time mum.” I don’t actually write that on my paperwork though because it just seems a bit twee.

Agree with @lolastarr. Anyone who has kids is a full time mum/dad/parent. Full time mummy in my opinion is pathetic.