To hate the label 'full time mummy'

[ilovenautical]

Have 0 tolerance for mums that put down working mums & label themselves full time mummy's - seriously?! Does that mean working mums are part time? So when we drop child off to day care/family/CM we are no longer parents? We no longer think about DC and if they were unwell we would just wait till non working hours to see them? Grrrr infuriates me!! am I the only one?

[EleanorShellstrop100]

at the posters saying SAHP are not unemployed. Umm... if they’re not currently in employment then they are not employed, therefore they are unemployed. Unemployed isn’t a negative word, it’s just a description of employment status FFS.

[Dawny65]

@LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook
You misunderstood the tone of my post. Do you really think that any adult with an ounce of intelligence who stays at home & just does the housework thinks they have a "proper job"?? Of course keeping house is part of life, derr!! I feel that society in general these days think that sah are lazy, & have no value to society. I was merely pointing out to those that think this way that it is not the case, there is still a lot to do to keep busy & houswives should be appreciated in society too. Jeez, you get out of bed the wrong side this morning? Fwiw I do understand the stresses of going to work ft & dealing with the mundane domestics too. I've just been made redundant from a ft job.

[Stuckinanutshell]

This thread was started in 2016 - are people still pissed off about it?!

It’s a turn of phrase. Let people have whatever titles they want. Hardly affects you or anyone else.

[seaweedandmarchingbands]

This debate is so old and pointless. Stop beating up other mums. What’s the benefit to anyone?

[geekone]

🧟‍♀️ 🧵

[Tumbleweed101]

Full time mum, working mum... I think the important word in those is ‘mum’!

Whatever employment choice we make - or don’t make - some people have little choice in what they do, it comes down to the most financial viable option for many families - we are all parents and it’s hard work.

I read ‘full time mum’ as someone who stays home with the children, doesn’t take away from my relationship with my children because I work.

I do think a lot of the problem is that many parents, and mums in particular, feel forced into their decision to work/ not work and feel judged for it one way or another.
Those making their choice freely probably don’t notice those statements so much.

[Whattodoabout]

Anyone who refers to themselves as mummy unless they are talking to a child under 5 gives me the rage

I’m still Mummy to my 9 year old and will be until he decides I’m Mum.

That aside, I completely agree with your point. It’s not as if working parents stop being a parent as soon as they drop their children at school/nursery. Oh I’m sorry DC, I can’t parent you right now because I’m only a part time parent.

[Sceptre86]

Not a big fan of the full term mummy phrase as yes it does imply that working mums are part time and we don't stop being a mum at work. However, people are free to call themselves what they like. There is no shame in being a sahm and there isn't in being a working parent both roles require sacrifice for the sake of a child in different ways.

What I don't appreciate is the comments about doing childcare themselves and not paying other people to take care of their children but that is because it personally hits home to me. I work because the bills need paying and I want a better standard of life for my two.

[LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook]

@Dawny65
'My jobs are housekeeper/cook/admin manager'
Do you not really everyone does these things, it's just called being an adult. If you want to not work that's your call, but stop saying you have a job, you don't, these are just daily tasks that everyone else gets done whilst working.

[LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook]

Working mothers are not part time parents. All parents are full time parents (apart from AWOL cocklodgers obviously)

[LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook]

Yesterday in a shop, a woman who worked there commented on DSs bag and how nice it was, I commented he can't carry it himself yet, (he's ten months) but he needs it for his things for nursery. She then launched into how she thought it was terrible that babies so young have to go to nursery, her granddaughter did too and it was a disgrace! I pointed out that I work full time yet have managed things so he only goes one day a week and he really enjoys it and that as an only I think the interaction is good for him. Nope, she carried on, 'he'd rather be at home with his mummy, that's what I did with mine', at this point I just said it's funny no one ever says that to his daddy and it's good for him to know that 'mummies' can have successful careers. I was so cross! I wanted to say maybe if she hadn't jacked in her job for her children she wouldn't be on her feet working in bloody Argos at quarter to seven on the evening.

[my2bundles]

I called myself a full time mum, because that's exactly what I was doing, caring for my children full time. It was how I saw myself so how I described myself, what other mums thought or called themselves didn't come into it. I refuse to change the way I see myself just because someone else takes offence.

[Countryescape]

@Dawny65 I don’t think working mums look down at SAHP at all. In NZ actually I think it’s the opposite. In NZ everything is set up to be favourable to the stay at home parent. Lots of free kindy from 3 onwards. Up to 30 hrs a week! But the catch is the hours are only school hours and not school holidays. This clearly excludes working parents who get absolutely nothing. The issue I have is that in NZ because it is so damn expensive to live, one person staying at home is a luxury. In my experience SAHP just don’t get it that some people actually have no option but to have both parents go to work. Those parents then pay astronomical daycare fees. It’s rubbish .

[Countryescape]

Agree with @lolastarr. Anyone who has kids is a full time mum/dad/parent. Full time mummy in my opinion is pathetic.

[QueenofmyPrinces]

My job involves working with parents of young children and when I have to ask about their occupation I say, “Do you work or do you stay at home with the children?”

It doesn’t seem to have caused any offence as yet although it has led to some responses of “Yes, I’m a full time mum.” I don’t actually write that on my paperwork though because it just seems a bit twee.

[Dawny65]

Some people really get incensed by the smallest thing these days and look for offence when there is none intended. Why be bothered if other women label themselves as a full time mummy? it's not a slur on you if you go out to work! And why look down on each other because you choose to stay at home or go to work? You make the decisions to suit your circumstances. One thing that is annoying is being classed as unemployed, lazy & workshy if you are a sahm or in my case now my dc are grown up a housewife.
"some of us ACTUALLY get paid for working a job" implies we are lazy/unemployed if we don't go out to work. Dh works hard & I stay at home still. My jobs are housekeeper/cook/admin manager & my wages are a roof over my head & access to dh money. Live & let live & stop getting wound up by such trivial things!

[MrsRoxieBB]

Absolutely hate it 🤣🤣🤣
I'm on Maternity Leave, so I guess that makes me a "Temp Full Time Mummy"
🤦🏽‍♀️

[Northernsoulgirl45]

I am sure they are not dling it to out working parents down. It is just a way of ssying tbey don't wirk outside of the home.

[zeezee3]

Oh! Fucking ZOMBIE thread!

[zeezee3]

@ilovenautical

YABU. What a daft thing to get wound up about!

[WendyBagina]

You're on one today @atrophywife

[EscapeTheOrdinary]

The definition of employed is having a paid job. Saying a stay at home parent is unemployed is correct. It is not minimising what they do it’s just the right meaning of the word. Personally I don’t like the term full time mummy. I prefer stay at home parent and I wouldn’t list it as a “job” but by no means do I think sahp have it easier or that what they do is not valuable. Women get enough rubbish thrown at them through pregnancy and raising children so comments like “some mums actually have a job” or the flip of “why have children to pay someone else to raise them?” are just uncalled for!

[Tutuloves]

I think someone's comment upstream is so true where the poster said:
"In general I think people who get so ultra defensive are not 100% happy with their choices or the way they think other people perceive them"
As women we feel like we are being judged if we work full time and judged if we are SAHP.
At the end of the day, it's impossible to know everyone's personal circumstances and reasons for doing what they do. So let's stop the derogotory comments and show a bit of kindness and empathy to one another.