To hate the label 'full time mummy'

[ilovenautical]

Have 0 tolerance for mums that put down working mums & label themselves full time mummy's - seriously?! Does that mean working mums are part time? So when we drop child off to day care/family/CM we are no longer parents? We no longer think about DC and if they were unwell we would just wait till non working hours to see them? Grrrr infuriates me!! am I the only one?

I think if you are posting that you feel society only sees usefulness in financial terms, you're admitting you have a chip on your shoulder.

Personally I feel no guilt about working, because it provides intellectual and social stimulation, I teach, so it's a socially very valuable job, and yes, as a middle manger it's pretty well remunerated so that's nice too.

And my children are grown up now and very happy, well rounded people- don't really know why anyone would expect me to feel guilty! And I bet no one would ask my dh that

I don't work atm, I have 3 DDs under 5.

I normally just say "I don't work at the moment, I'm at home with the kids" But surely most people in social situations etc know you so you rarely have to say it?

Unemployed - yeah if that's the neatest way to say it
Full-time mum - well I guess this refers to what you do roughly 9-5 Monday - Friday and my primary role is "mumming" - not amphrase I'd use myself though
On a career break - never had and do not desire a career; a job will suffice when the time is right
SAHM - rarely at home but a new short hand which every one seems to understand
Housewife - sounds a bit 50s to me
Homemaker - twee!!!

I think the purpose of the thread was to highlight that the use of the term "full-time mummy" to describe a mother who stays at home to look after her kids is considered offensive by many, because of the negative implication that mothers who work outside the home are somehow not full-time parents.

Obviously, some people don't give a toss about who they offend, so this thread will probably seem pointless. Others of a more sensitive disposition may take note and choose to moderate their language accordingly.

I do understand that but when I was working part time as a nurse I wouldn't have said I was a full time nurse. That didn't mean my registration lapsed or I forgot everything I knew in between shifts. A mum who is at work isn't actively parenting during those hours (although I know that putting a roof over your children's head is one of the most important roles of a mum!) I don't know, as I said I wouldn't use the phrase myself anyway and certainly I wouldn't ever do it to put others down - I don't believe anyone would, they'd be oblivious and trying to provide a neat clear answer, not making some sort of statement

Munster

Yes. I have a massive chip on my shoulder.

I seriously CBA to address your comment. Plenty of feminist texts about motherhood are available.

I don't work and am at home with the children. I run my own business but it is very much a lifestyle business rather than a serious venture. I find that people do respect the SAHP role although I never call myself that. They seem to think that i am some kind of saintly figure for giving up work to care for my children but the reality is that I just can't be bothered working. I call myself a lady of leisure with a big smile.

Glad you acknowledge it

Cross post with philoslothy.
Btw philoslothly- what a refreshingly honest post and I love your appropriate username

Aren't ALL mums - of all types shapes sizes and occupation - FULL TIME mums?

And some are employed as well.

Never followed the phrase full time mum...what else could there be?!

The phrase full time mum also grates on me - every parent is a fulltime parent, whatever else they do with their time - therefore I find it bizarre that people feel the need to say it. To me it would be like telling someone you are a human

And sorry to disappoint the posters who hold the theory that dislike of the term = bitter/jealous/chip on shoulder..... I have spent three years training for this job as it is my dream career. I am so happy and proud of myself for doing it and my children are too I LOVE my job and have no desire to pack it in and plunge us into poverty just so I can claim to be a 'fulltime mummy'. I am still a mother when my children are at school and I am at work.

I refer to myself as a full time Mum. I make no apology for doing so. It simply describes what I do. Stay At Home Mum doesn't suit me as me and my 1 year old are always out and about. I work mininally, teaching baby classes for a couple of hours a week, so I can take him with me and have no need to put him in nursery.
I feel very lucky that I can do this, but that's because it's what I want. Describing myself as a full time mum is merely my chosen description of my lifestyle. It's not an insult to anyone who chooses of is obliged to work full time. Offence is taken not given. If you are seeking offence in somebody else's description of themself you maybe need to check that you're happy with your own choices.

Let's all just agree that those of us fortunate enough to be parents are ALL mums and dads, all of the time, we ALL parent our children, whether we work just in the home, or do paid work as well.

There that should cover all bases.

Quite right

Offence is taken not given. If you are seeking offence in somebody else's description of themself you maybe need to check that you're happy with your own choices.

I'm happy with my own choices, yes. I'm very fortunate that I have choices. How you choose to describe yourself is not going to make me feel differently about those choices.

However, I have a daughter, and I care about the value-laden language that is used in our society, because that value-laden language might impact on her choices in the future.

I could choose to describe myself as a "working mum". However, I avoid this phrase because I know that some mums who aren't in paid employment resent the implication that they don't work. Of course that isn't what I'd be trying to imply, but I can see why some might find that phrase offensive. So I don't use it.

Is it so difficult for people to avoid a phrase that clearly causes offence?

Like I said, offence is taken, not given. I'm not offended by the term working mum. Good on you. But I won't stop using my chosen description of myself in case it offends someone. If you've got the time and energy to get frothed up over that you've really got very little to worry about!

Laughing at the term WOHPs!!
So I work out of the home and have fairies doing the work that some SAHMs claim to be their employed jobs.

YANBU - SAHM is more fitting. I'm a "full time mummy" with a part time job.

I don't lose sleep over it though

Although FWIW I challenge anyone to find a 'job' that's harder than being a SAHM! I believe working part time makes my life much easier

Your car insurance is cheaper if you select homemaker over unemployed therefore I'm a homemaker

Pinky my job is definitely harder than being a stay at home parent...

If you've got the time and energy to get frothed up over that you've really got very little to worry about!

Well, you're right there. I do have very little to worry about - happy marriage, happy thriving child, financial security and a worthwhile job that I really enjoy. I know I'm lucky.

You might not be offended by the term working mum, but others are, so I don't use it. I get that some people don't care if they cause offence. I guess that's where we differ.

Although FWIW I challenge anyone to find a 'job' that's harder than being a SAHM!

I think there are loads of jobs I would find much harder than being a SAHM, including my own, but then, I think I'd find it very easy to SAH, whereas others might find it much harder. Depends on so many factors, including individual skills and temperament, the number of kids and their personalities, the amount of support etc.

Yeah I have actually. When I was a stay at home mum I also cared for my severely disabled brother.
But seeing as you know so much about my life and all...