To tell my DC that their cheating dad broke my family up not me for refusing to put up with his behaviour :-(

[GuacamoleHole]

That's it really.

There's a massive backstory but I have two very angry DC right now and will have to sort them out rather than type out tomes

Dh has been a serial arsehole. I've taken him back time after time because I was scared he and his family would take away my children (the PIL have done this twice before with my SIL being sectioned about 5 years ago)

I decided to mentally check out of the whole relationship about 5 years ago.

• got counselling last year(ongoing) medical treatment and got training so I could have skills for a job around the children. The trust was so gone that I started to get very ill- I've tried to have my own separate life in preparation for this time but my H is very charming, has money and a lot of influence- to everyone around us they see him as a wonderful family man and believe the Facebook and Instagram fake dad he really is- they don't see the other side to his social media presence which looks for prostitutes online and trawls his little black book for no strings thrills

I'm so hurt right now. I feel like I've wasted my life. I'm ashamed. I've not told any friends yet but the children know and they are so unhappy. I want to tell them how hard it's been for me and how much their dad has put my sexual,emotional and physical health at risk (he gave me a black eye last year when I snatched his phone off him to find the latest woman he was trying to woo)

What do I do?

I have a solicitor booked for next Wednesday

Can you imagine, your honor she said mean things about me to the kids that were true pmsl,

I have been through the court process. My experience is very different to yours.

I will never feel guilty for allowing my DD to make her own judgements about her dad. I don't want her life experiences to be filtered through my own lense. She will form her own values based on the lessons she learns from both her parents, and judge us against those values based on what she experiences.

You sound so so bruised op - not surprisingly
Keep posting here and get your strength back

He will weep and wail but I bet you when you don't cave in - he will call you a cunt again ! There is your answer .

Hang tight this really is a marathon not a sprint - and reading feedback here will start to boost you - you are not alone

Send ing healing - you'll get through this chick xx

You don't have to feel guilty NN I'm sure you've handled the whole to the best of your ability, as we all do, yiu know your child best as I know mine.

I appreciate that, offf. There have been some harsh judgements by some on this thread that those of us who choose not to tell our DCs details about our relationships are "failing in our duty of care" to our DCs.

NN, it was me who said 'failing in my duty of care' about my own situation, which I'm sure is different from yours. I wouldn't say anyone who doesn't tell their DC that the other parent cheated, or was otherwise abusive, is failing in their duty of care - as off says, everyone's situation is different (to paraphrase).

Telling them would make you feel happier but your children unhappier. So yoh have to decide who is most important - you or your dc's

How would it make YOU happier, do you think she would reveal in the juicy details and enjoy the story telling, stupid comment a8mint