To think the breast is best strategy is all wrong

[SheepOrWine]

Just back from the health visitor clinic where I was at in front of an entire wall (no exaggeration) telling me why breast is best. Apparently for one young woman it was the best decision she EVER made. This morning I read about another study which "proves" that breast is best (presumably because the many, many existing studies on this are not enough and they needed another one?) At my NHS antenatal breastfeeding class, more than half of the allocated time was dedicated to the benefits of breastfeeding.

Has anyone ever been persuaded to breastfeed by a poster or a news article? Is there anyone out there who seriously has not yet heard the "breast is best" message? Does the NHS just think women are a bit stupid but if you tell them to do something enough times they will do it?

Wouldn't this money be better spent on helping those women who want to breastfeed to do so successfully? Three months ago I was on a postnatal ward with DD where I received conflicting and often incorrect breastfeeding advice. Every time I buzzed for support a frazzled looking HCA or midwife would come and glance at the latch say "yeah that's fine" and walk off. I asked four times to see the breastfeeding advisor but she never arrived. I was discharged without anyone observing a feed.

8 weeks on I gave up breastfeeding as I just had enough of all the various problems I was having with it and for which I was completely unprepared. Before I had DD the posters were useless as like most women, I already knew I wanted to try to breastfeed. And now, post-breastfeeding, all these posters do is just make me feel guilty. What a waste of money.

I couldn't breast feed, for medical reasons as well as the fact that I never actually lactated.

I wanted to for a little while, even a week or two but situations made it impossible.

The whole breast is best campaign pisses me off.

Those who choose to and manage, they see the positive side of it, that is fantastic.

Those who can't, for whatever reason, are made to feel as if they are not doing the best for their baby. Even though they may desperately wish they could

And those who won't, are made to feel like a shit mum because of their decision.

FED is best, in my opinion.

I actually got that irritated after the birth of my daughter, with a midwife who kept harping on about breast feeding and then asked me if I was. (I was on 60 tablets a week and 2 inter muscular injections a day, there was no way and yes, I did feel bad that I couldn't breast feed) I actually looked at her in disgust and said "ugh, breast feeding is for hippies"

I didn't, nor don't believe that. But I also don't believe that any woman should be made to feel like crap because of her choice, be that breast or bottle.

Blackbird Yes my DD is now 6 and a Verruca Salt incarnate (despite grade 3 ivh's) she's repeated a year at school and doing really well. How's your LO?

I did mange to express but never bf DD- partially as wanted out of NICU asap and it wasn't working (desat's constantly etc) and because it just didn't work for me generally. Hell - I was sleep walking to NICU for months. Am surprised I didn't crash the car let alone be able to bf a baby.

I was part of a crowd funding effort to pay for someone to get private support with breastfeeding. Shes done an amazing job for 6 months, but today was the first time she was able to feed pain free! We're chuffed to bits, but how disgusting that 1) this help isn't available on the NHS and 2) that the cost of support is prohibitive to most people.

OP I agree: more support is needed and i would support MNHQ campaign for this. I am a FF.

trifle thank you am on antibiotics and feeling a bit sorry for myself. I agree that pre-empting issues might put people off, but equally not addressing them is going to result in lots of inability to breastfeed, where the initial intention was to do so.

I am fully supportive of women who chose to breastfeed. Each to their own and I wouldn't judge anyone's choice. What boils my piss is a large number of women I have meet who BF (though not all) seem to judge me for bottle feeding.

What they don't know is that my DD was premature and I never produced any milk. What was most important to me was that my baby was getting fed and not whether or not it came from a bottle or breast.

If you want to breast feed all well and good but the mothers who are breastfeeding nazis can stick their judgement and propaganda where the sun don't shine

I was saying today that of all the people I know who are about to or have recently (last few years) given birth, only 2 are planning to (or have) breastfeed.

Those who haven't, are intelligent women who are aware of all of the advice but feel that their body is theirs and their husbands / partners and breastfeeding makes them feel weird. The two who have (or intend to) breastfeed, one is an older mum, fully down with all the modern practices (well, you know, the ones which have been around for years but someone has rebranded them) and the other is a 16 year old who thinks it'll be cheaper than spending a tenner a week on formula.

So if we are looking at ways to promote breastfeeding I would suggest that (based purely on my experience), it's not about all the preachy posters, it's about changing the way that society sexualises breasts and makes them the plaything of men (or women). Not sure how you do that really.

Breastfeeding doesn't stop allergies! I am in a Mumsnet group of 30 plus mums that had a baby the same month as me and pretty much all of the children who have allergies or eczema were exclusively breastfeed. I would go as far as to say the formula fed children are the ones less prone to illness infact.

Bf IS difficult though, for many women. I found it incredibly painful for the first couple of months. It was exhausting too - ds cluster fed and was basically stuck to the boob for months. I'm trying to cut down now but he won't take a bottle so I'm still tired and drained.

If I have another one I'll mix feed. I'm kicking myself that I didn't with this one because I can't leave him and he's a terrible sleeper and utter boob fiend.

Breast is best when you look at the population level stats. that doesn't mean it's best for every mum/baby pair

What's best for the individual is up to them. That can be breast, formula or a mix. We should provide much better support to women who want to breast feed. But no woman should feel guilty for how she feeds her baby, ffs. Formula is safe, and often much more convenient.

I should probably say that obviously there are medical reasons why some people can't BF, and I recognise that mums who FF (and have first hand experience of) are often left feeling like shit because of the propaganda and having BF nazis criticise your feeding method to your face. That shouldn't happen. Ever.

I think my first post didn't acknowledge this and might have come across as preachy.

lemon I suppose it depends what the aim of the campaign is. If the NHS want women to give breastfeeding a try, they've succeeded - more than 4 out if 5 start out breastfeeding. If the aim is for women to start and continue breastfeeding the strategy is a huge failure! I think the posters have their place but only as part of a wider approach.

After a traumatic birth, I still wanted to breast feed but after my ds had formula pumped down his nose and his stomach stretched it was rather difficult, and I had to give up all together just to be able to get out of the hospital! The midwives offered no support and told me that the trauma from delivery would mean my milk won't come in- day after I was discharged it came in but ds was not interested and I couldn't get my supply up.
I truly believe that had the support been there when my lo was born I could've done it, but they just wanted me out of hospital!

Amadeus and Freerange

For me, and obviously my daughter, the biggest issue was tongue tie. MY daughter was diagnosed at 3 days by a HV but it was a battle to get the GP to acknowledge this. We were told he had never heard of it impacting breastfeeding! We had a private snip at 17 days and the difference was phenomenal. She went from 25% centile to 85% within days (I kid you not I was shocked as were the HV) and she stayed there.

I was counting down the feeds to 6 months as I had had it drummed in to me that that was what I should do. As soon as she was snipped it was a different story and at nearly 3 she is still breastfeeding, whenever she wants comfort now!

For me I think better training about tongue tie and people listening to mums (and Dads - as my husband had tongue tie, as did his mum and her father) would help.

Oh couldn't agree more about the allergies! My daughter exclusively breastfed and has eczema and asthma. Me bottlefed and have eczema and asthma. If you're going to get them I think you're going to get them.

Wtf why would you go to those lengths honeysuckle when there is a perfectly valid and proper alternative available?!

Why would I chip in a couple of quid to help a friend no longer experience pain? You don't understand that? Or, do you mean, why didn't I tell her to just give up and FF?

OP I felt exactly the same about those posters and agree with your opening post completely.

Dovetale absolutely I remember crying so much thinking I should breastfeed before my daughter had the tongue tie snipped. It was agony (crying with the pain agony) but I felt I had to do it or I had failed her. There needs to be more support and info so women don't feel like I did.

In my opinion YANBU, I saw something on Facebook recently by one of the breastfeeding groups saying, 'formula is the bare minimum' or something similar which to be honest I thought was quite insulting to anyone who couldn't breastfeed. I'm all for breastfeeding, did it myself but I feel that any mother has the right to choose & not be pushed into it or made to feel inadequate or a failure if they can't or chose not to

Child 1
Has never had breast milk. Couldn't as I was taking essential meds that you really don't breastfeed while on

Child 2
Ebf for 4 months

Guess which child has the life threatening food allergy and chronic eczema

yoko when I was on the postnatal ward I was told by the paedeatrician that in his view it was best to wait 3 hours to feed the baby, as when they are screaming hungry they feed better. This was three months ago. Don't feel bad about what happened to you, if your experience was anything like mine the lack of support and correct information is shocking.

I am just not sure how much extra nursing and support would be afforded by ditching the print run of a few posters and leaflets.

Advertising is cheap in this context and quite an effective way of getting the message out if posters placed in anti/postnatal environments.

Personally I think the message should be more about convenience and major cost savings possible. That to me is a more compelling argument than marginal health benefits.

I'm breastfeeding my five week old son (quite literally, right now - sorry for any typos!). So far it's successful - he latches correctly, he's gaining weight, he's healthy and happy.

However, I didn't realize how tiring it would be, mentally and physically. There are some days where he literally will feed for 6-12 hours, with only 5-20 minutes respite - I can't get anything done!

And my nipples are incredibly sore and tender, which annoys me as I've been told/read repeatedly that 'if it hurts, you're doing it wrong', but the latch is fine and there's no infection. The health visitor has said that soreness is actually very common, especially with cluster feeding in the early weeks. :/

I'm sticking with it, but I see why people switch - I've been in tears, fearful that my son is starving due to his feeding frenzies, whilst I'm knackered and in pain (and naked, due to not having a chance to get showered and dressed).

My mom breastfed all of her children (in the late 70s/early 80s), but she hated it and has been encouraging me to go full formula, or to at least supplement!

How can bfing a baby in PAIN for 6 months be a good thing? 6 Months? 6 days isn't right, 6 weeks isn't right . Why do that to yourself and your baby for 6 months when there are alternatives available. I do not understand. Breastfeeding a baby doesn't give you a badge of honour and sacrificing your own health (mental or otherwise) shouldn't be encouraged.

Wtf why would you go to those lengths honeysuckle when there is a perfectly valid and proper alternative available?!Why would I chip in a couple of quid to help a friend no longer experience pain? You don't understand that? Or, do you mean, why didn't I tell her to just give up and FF?

Well it depends...

A. Woman really wants to breastfeed, finds support inadequate, raises money

Or

B. Woman finding bf ing difficult, feels terrible and guilty because she feels she should bf. Raises money.

It's when we encounter this 'should' thing we get problems. I'll be honest - if I'd not felt so bloody guilty about giving up bf I'd have just given him formula. Instead I felt like a terrible failure because bf ing was painful and not working. So I continued long past the point, looking back, I would have been better mix feeding him.

We live in a country with safe drinking water - no one should be feeling guilty about using formula.