To think the breast is best strategy is all wrong

[SheepOrWine]

Just back from the health visitor clinic where I was at in front of an entire wall (no exaggeration) telling me why breast is best. Apparently for one young woman it was the best decision she EVER made. This morning I read about another study which "proves" that breast is best (presumably because the many, many existing studies on this are not enough and they needed another one?) At my NHS antenatal breastfeeding class, more than half of the allocated time was dedicated to the benefits of breastfeeding.

Has anyone ever been persuaded to breastfeed by a poster or a news article? Is there anyone out there who seriously has not yet heard the "breast is best" message? Does the NHS just think women are a bit stupid but if you tell them to do something enough times they will do it?

Wouldn't this money be better spent on helping those women who want to breastfeed to do so successfully? Three months ago I was on a postnatal ward with DD where I received conflicting and often incorrect breastfeeding advice. Every time I buzzed for support a frazzled looking HCA or midwife would come and glance at the latch say "yeah that's fine" and walk off. I asked four times to see the breastfeeding advisor but she never arrived. I was discharged without anyone observing a feed.

8 weeks on I gave up breastfeeding as I just had enough of all the various problems I was having with it and for which I was completely unprepared. Before I had DD the posters were useless as like most women, I already knew I wanted to try to breastfeed. And now, post-breastfeeding, all these posters do is just make me feel guilty. What a waste of money.

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant with my first two and have had a multitude of midwife and consultant appointments. At my booking appt my midwife quickly ran through the benefits of breastfeeding and said not to buy bottles or formula as id be setting myself up for failure and that was all. At my 22wk appt a different midwife again very quickly went through the benefits but said that if I chose to formula feed its totally fine and said "most of the people your age and older (I'm 29) were probably formula fed and are fine, as long as baby if fed that's all that matters".

I'm not sure if they wait till later on to really discuss it or perhaps in the hospital or not but in the very limited experience I've had they didnt discuss it much and just gave me the Ready Steady Baby book to read.

Stop: That is an absolutely shocking comment. Thousands of children who have been FF have no dairy intolerance whatsoever. You're judging her because her child has a condition. Well done.

Simply not wanting to BF is a valid choice to - I despise it when women are told what to do with their bodies. I don't see why it's important that they have tried to the point of desperation before it's deemed acceptable to switch to formula.

My 5 month old is breastfed. It came easily and naturally to both of us despite shit support. That's the real crime - lack of support for women who desperately want to breastfeed but are having problems that are quite fixable to support.

But there's a difference between saying "I'm breastfeeding but having X, y, z problem and really want to continue, how do I do that?" and saying "I'm really fed up and I want to stop, how do I switch to formula?". The second question should not be answered with "have you tried expressing/co sleeping/donor milk" etc etc.

Doesn't help that on bfeeding support groups the myth that bfed babies are just inevitably shitty sleepers and there's nothing you can do about it consistently gets reinforced. It frightens people.

This is quite good on the reasons to breastfeed / risks of not breastfeeding milkmatters.org.uk/over-101-reasons-to-breastfeed/

I didn't have any milk, apparently this is quite common after emergency section. But nobody told me until later, the party line is 'everyone can bf' and apart from wafting a knitted woolen tit in front of me to demonstrate latching on, I was left unsupported. It is no surprise to me that people give up soon, I perservered and actually regret it now. The first 6 months just revolved around the bf stress. I think it impacted on my and baby's well being, she was hungry all the time til I weaned her and I was exhausted. I never saw a look of delight on her face like the day I offered her a spoonful of baby rice!

I'm planning to have a go of BF but I'm not going to beat myself up if it doesn't work, anyway. If it has to be formula, my daughter will be fine.

Hardly anybody in my mum's generation breastfed so there isn't any support from people who actually did it. I have always wondered all these pushy midwives who scold women for not breastfeeding properly (and many times those mothers pretend that they didn't know the information like "reaaaally, I was not meant to bottle feed during the first week", or I have small breasts do can't have enough milk ) if they have breastfed themselves as statistically most probably they haven't! So what support can they give? Even information given on the Bounty book says that if it hurts you are not doing it properly. Guess what? It still hurt as hell for 1 month, midwives were adamant that the baby was latching and was being fed properly (that's true btw, gained weighed very quickly) but I was still hurting so much! It only stopped after a month.

So why do they make women think that they are doing something wrong by writing that it's not meant to hurt when it can hurt a lot so women follow the advice and stop breastfeeding because they MUST be doing something wrong and the baby doesn't get enough milk?

Stopyour - and I have a friend who breastfed from day one and til her child was well over a year. Yet he still developed a dairy allergy a few weeks in. Breastfeeding doesn't stop all allergies!

The benefits of breastfeeding for babies are widely exaggerated to a ludicrous degree. The advantage over ff is utterly minuscule. The vast majority of studies showing "diseases" etc wrt formula show correlation only and not causation.

I BF my son because I enjoy it and because I find it easy and convenient. If these things did not apply I would switch to formula without a second thought.

Sorry for all the typos.

I'm due in a few months and I've decided not to breastfeed.

First of all, I hate, hate having my nipples touched - even water running on them in the shower sometimes makes me feel sick! The thought of breastfeeding makes me feel a bit ill for that reason. If it was going to confer major benefits on my child I'd do my best - but my research (and I have researched it quite extensively) suggests that the benefits are very much overstated, and the happy, healthy formula-fed babies I know kind of back that up.

Also, I live in a Muslim country which means that I won't be able to breastfeed in public. The malls generally have a (very comfortable) little room set aside for this purpose, but what if they're in use? And it seems a bit miserable to schlep across to the other end of the mall to sit in a room alone.

I won't have much maternity leave - my baby will be about four months old when I go back to work and we'll have to get a nanny. Formula just seems easier than arriving at work late/leaving early every day to express milk.

I'd also like my husband to take on a bit of the feeding.

I do feel a bit embarrassed telling people though. Someone in work (a British person) asked me about it and I kind of dodged the question - I'm not sure why as I'm quite confident in my decision.

I do however think the lack of knowledge wrt many HCP is truly shocking.

I was given shitty advice in hospital but I did my research and ignored them.

Dairy intolerance has nothing to do with the fact her children were formula fed.

For my son it was formula or he would starve, I produced NO milk waited and waited and nothing and it wasn't without nurses midwives and hcas trying to milk me :|

OP I agree with you 100%. Fuck the posters, I needed somebody there with me not a midwife bobbing in for 2 seconds - too busy to even pretend to care. I had an awful time on the postnatal ward & it could have been so different if somebody qualified could just HELP me.

For DC2 I'll be paying for a specialist but well aware most won't have that option.

Don't feel guilty, you did the best you could (as did I)

DS1 was born at 24 weeks and had no suck reflex until about 37 weeks. I expressed for him all this time (and for the following several months) even though I was never shown how to even get the first drops of milk out (the NICU nurses were, understandably, way too busy to show me). I could hardly produce anything but I carried on and on, producing maybe 50mls a day at most. At 37 weeks we started trying breastfeeding. This was an ongoing battle and every time we tried he turned blue and all his alarms went off. After about 3 weeks of this, in tears of frustrated defeat, I told a neonatal nurse that from now on I'd be bottle feeding him EBM with formula top up. This delightful nurse lectured me, right there and then in front of all the other parents and through my tears, that she had breastfed her children for two years each (both born healthy and at term, incidentally) and it had given them the most amazing bond with her, and that I would never have as good a relationship with my son as she had with her children if I didn't breastfeed him. I really wish I'd complained about her.

I know perfectly well that breast is best. And I tried bloody hard, I really did. OP, YANBU.

I think a more informative, nuanced approach is needed, perhaps a leaflet/poster stating some facts/tips...e.g. in order to successfully breastfeed babies need to:

Feed on demand, at least 12 times per day
Feed more often at night
Cluster feed in the evenings
Have skin to skin contact
Feed lying down
Suckle to stimulate supply
Feed more often during a growth spurt

If these facts were widely known and not misinterpreted as signs that 'baby isn't getting enough', there might be a more successful breastfeeding culture.

I agree yoko.

Although my 5 month old has never fed lying down, he hates it

They have to put something on the walls to hide the cracks. What would you prefer?

Good point choc! I had a midwife tell me BF babies don't need winding... She then told me she had breastfeed her two .. One for a month and the other for three.

OP I agree with you. More support on wards is vital. They should be getting mums ( with some training) who have done it to come and help. I would do that.

Also my DD1 has a dairy and gluten allergy and others. She was breastfed for 9 months when we had to stop to sort out her allergies.

I have two children, one fully FF, never near a boob and one EBF. I can guarantee no one would know which started life on what type of milk.

Hmmmm...I possibly didn't express myself well enough.

I was just saying that if the NHS does want to increase breastfeeding rates, the most effective method would be well-informed support from HCPs. Not posters and leaflets which I personally don't think are hugely effective.

I'm not disputing that breast is best (some posters seem to think I am).